confuseacat Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 I've dated and had some short term relationships, but I haven't experienced being with someone long term. I feel like I'm missing out by being single and would like to meet someone, but I think I might have a romanticized view of relationships. What is it actually like once the honeymoon phase wears off? Link to post Share on other sites
sportygirl89 Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 You have to be happy with your self first. Relationships are supposed to bring the best out in you. I'm entering my third year being single. Don't think I'm missing much. At least not missing the heart ache. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
devilish innocent Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 I think most people tend to take their long-term relationships for granted. There are advantages to having a good partner always there with you. If you lose the person, you notice what's missing and are devastated. Until then, you don't often notice how lucky you are. It just becomes day-to-day life. Most people go back to the same level of happiness they were at when they were single once they've been with their partner for a while. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 What is it actually like once the honeymoon phase wears off? You have to keep investing time and energy into the relationship, making the other person part of your life, and they part of yours. It means continuing to be vulnerable. You have to be patient, you have to have the willingness to face adversity together. Obviously some adversity is not worth it (ie: infidelity, abuse, gambling, drugs, etc.). You have to communicate with each other, be honest and be willing to share (ie: transparency). If you are considering a long term relationship, make sure you know what you want beyond the physical in your partner. Make sure to have your values and seek out someone with similar values. This is important, because many people get together just because they have a good feeling and they go with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 (edited) My opinion and experience is that being in a good LTR is amazing. Yes it does require some effort after the honeymoon phase and yes you do have to make a few compromises, you get annoyed occasionally, etc. But most good things in life (good career, good health, comfy lifestyle, children or pets if you want them) require at least a minimal amount of effort anyway to obtain/keep them. It's up to the individual which ones are worth the effort, and a good LTR is more than worth it to me. If it just wasn't happening I wouldn't push for it though, as it's also perfectly possible to be happy being single. I would rather be in a good LTR than single, but I would also definitely rather be single than in a bad R or a R with someone I didn't really love just for the sake of having one. Edited September 21, 2015 by Elswyth 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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