I need a job that is easy to lie about

[GH101]

I don't have a job. I went to community college, but couldn't pass the remedial math to finish my AA. I am looking into a few different jobs. However I don't have a job right now and probably won't for some time. I am going to a family gathering and I need a job I can easily lie about. My family thinks I got my AA degree. I need a made up job that doesn't require alot of questions and doesn't sound made up. Also, what is good reason I can say I took a break from school. I don't want to tell people I can't pass math. Thanks for the advice.

[madjac74]

Don't go to the family gathering. If you are worried your family can't accept the ACTUAL life you lead then why would you want to be there?

 

I've learned this after many many years of trying to impress family members that don't matter in the long run

[GH101]

Don't go to the family gathering. If you are worried your family can't accept the ACTUAL life you lead then why would you want to be there?

 

I've learned this after many many years of trying to impress family members that don't matter in the long run

 

I understand what you're saying. However I have to go. They are critical people, but they are still my family. I just have to say I have a job or I will be verbally attacked and made to feel like a bum. My cousins are doing well and I can't just say I'm unemployed.

[GH101]

Don't go to the family gathering. If you are worried your family can't accept the ACTUAL life you lead then why would you want to be there?

 

I've learned this after many many years of trying to impress family members that don't matter in the long run

 

You have two choices. Either learn to truly be comfortable with who you are so that you don't need to lie to others, or get yourself to a point where you do feel comfortable.

 

Yea, I understand what you're saying. I am comfortable with my life, but I care what my family thinks of me. I can't say I'm unemployed. It will just be easier to make up a job. I need one that sounds good and truthful. I just need to get through this gathering saying I have a job.

[madjac74]

You have to go because these critical people have you feeling obligated to go, just like they feel you are obligated to be like your cousins!

 

Would you put up with people like this who weren't family?

[TaraMaiden2]

Yea, I understand what you're saying. I am comfortable with my life,

Then say so.

 

but I care what my family thinks of me.

So you figure that lying to them is going to make them respect you and think better of you? Really?

 

I can't say I'm unemployed. It will just be easier to make up a job.

I'm an 'environmental external hygienist' may work well.

(in common parlance, that's a road-sweep ).

 

I need one that sounds good and truthful. I just need to get through this gathering saying I have a job.

Surely you need a job in line with your studies.

What were you hoping to qualify for?

Honestly, this is ridiculous.

If you can't be honest with your own family and be who you are with no pretensions, either they're seriously damaged people, or you are.

[madjac74]

Anyhoo...Say you are a Loss Prevention Supervisor for Arby's. Pretty sure they will just nod with fake approval and say "ooooh nice"

[GH101]

You have to go because these critical people have you feeling obligated to go, just like they feel you are obligated to be like your cousins!

 

Would you put up with people like this who weren't family?

 

I do like my family and I want to go. I have a nice time, but I need to say I'm working. I just can't say I'm unemployed or I will be made to feel like a bum. My family is big on education, careers etc. They won't understand about the math issue or the not finding work. I don't want them to think I am stupid and going nowhere in life. I need a made up job, any suggestions?

[TaraMaiden2]

I don't have a job. I went to community college, but couldn't pass the remedial math to finish my AA. .... My family thinks I got my AA degree. ....I don't want to tell people I can't pass math.

 

Why do they think you got it?

Is it an assumption on their part - or did you lie about that too...?

 

I couldn't pass maths either.

I actually turned out ok without any College/uni qualifications.

 

There are countless thousands of grad students doing pisspoor jobs they never intended doing, because they couldn't get work in line with their qualifications.

I have a colleague, working in retail, part-time, selling clothing, who used to be a law lecturer, for god's sake.... but redundancies and cutbacks meant she lost her post. Now, she's working 4 days/week, in a high-street retail store, selling ladies fashions.

[GH101]

Then say so.

 

 

So you figure that lying to them is going to make them respect you and think better of you? Really?

 

 

I'm an 'environmental external hygienist' may work well.

(in common parlance, that's a road-sweep ).

 

 

Surely you need a job in line with your studies.

What were you hoping to qualify for?

Honestly, this is ridiculous.

If you can't be honest with your own family and be who you are with no pretensions, either they're seriously damaged people, or you are.

 

I do say I'm happy, but they want to know my career path. They would never know I was lying, that is the point of getting my story straight and sticking to it. I just need a job that people will believe. Well I say I got my AA degree in Liberal Arts. I wasn't sure what my major was. I was undecided.

 

It's not ridiculous. My family can be mean and snobby when it comes to education and career paths. They won't take kindly to me being unemployed or understand it. I want to just say a job I do and move along with the gathering. I just want to avoid the lecture and negative comments. I don't want them to make me feel bad or less than my cousin's. I just want a made up job to avoid tension.

[GH101]

Why do they think you got it?

Is it an assumption on their part - or did you lie about that too...?

 

I couldn't pass maths either.

I actually turned out ok without any College/uni qualifications.

 

There are countless thousands of grad students doing pisspoor jobs they never intended doing, because they couldn't get work in line with their qualifications.

I have a colleague, working in retail, part-time, selling clothing, who used to be a law lecturer, for god's sake.... but redundancies and cutbacks meant she lost her post. Now, she's working 4 days/week, in a high-street retail store, selling ladies fashions.

 

I told them I got my AA. Some assumed because I was at community 3 years. I just can't say I couldn't pass math because I am embarrassed. My cousins are doing so well and I don't want to feel like an outcast. My family would say I'm just not trying hard enough or I'm lazy.

 

What do you do, since you couldn't pass math either?

[GH101]

Am I the only one who finds this hilarious?

 

Why is this hilarious? Like nobody lies or embellishes things.

[TaraMaiden2]

Why is this hilarious? Like nobody lies or embellishes things.

 

Not to this idiotic extent.

What you fail to realise is that by beginning lies, you have nothing to build on, but lies. And liars have to have very good memories, for everything they say and do.

A person you lie to, will remember that one thing about you.

Lie to a whole lot of people, and they'll all remember what you told them.

The trouble is, you have to remember everything you have told every person, when you told them, and what they said in response.

You have to know every detail of every lie, so as to not ever get caught up.

That's a whole lot of people you're about to lie to.

And it's not as if you can dismiss this and never see them again.

They're family.

And families have a way of staying in touch.

So every time you speak to them on an individual basis, you have to remember every single different discussion you have, because trip up once, and you're exposed.

 

Lie, upon lie, upon lie, will crumble, because there is no solid basis for lying, other than fear.

And fear is your worst enemy.

[madjac74]

GH, what if your cousins are lying about how well they are doing?

Wait I just gave you a promotion...Senior Loss Prevention for Arby's

[GH101]

Not to this idiotic extent.

What you fail to realise is that by beginning lies, you have nothing to build on, but lies. And liars have to have very good memories, for everything they say and do.

A person you lie to, will remember that one thing about you.

Lie to a whole lot of people, and they'll all remember what you told them.

The trouble is, you have to remember everything you have told every person, when you told them, and what they said in response.

You have to know every detail of every lie, so as to not ever get caught up.

That's a whole lot of people you're about to lie to.

And it's not as if you can dismiss this and never see them again.

They're family.

And families have a way of staying in touch.

So every time you speak to them on an individual basis, you have to remember every single different discussion you have, because trip up once, and you're exposed.

 

Lie, upon lie, upon lie, will crumble, because there is no solid basis for lying, other than fear.

And fear is your worst enemy.

 

Well, I wasn't going to lie about running for president or going to medical school. I was thinking of saying I'm a tutor or work freelance. Something easy and casual with not alot to say or remember. I am also a good liar and prepare ahead of time, just need a made up job first.

[madjac74]

Lie, upon lie, upon lie, will crumble, because there is no solid basis for lying, other than fear.

And fear is your worst enemy.

 

Unless his family's care for how well he is doing is as superficial as his need to lie to them

[TaraMaiden2]

I told them I got my AA. Some assumed because I was at community 3 years. I just can't say I couldn't pass math because I am embarrassed. My cousins are doing so well and I don't want to feel like an outcast. My family would say I'm just not trying hard enough or I'm lazy.

Then you really have to do some work here: on your career, your self-esteem and your opinions of your family.

If they're so harsh and judgemental that you can't even be honest with them, you have some serious soul-searching to do, about remaining connected to people who are poisonous rather than supportive.

 

What do you do, since you couldn't pass math either?

I studied maths, in my own time, with no pressure.

 

True story:

My maths teacher was totally exasperated with me, because I could NOT get my head around algebra.

a + b = x - y = 29. what is m?

What the hell is all that crap about - ?!

 

Anyway, during one lesson, she threw her hands up in the air, and yelled at me acoss the classroom:

 

"*TaraMaiden!* Why can't you get this?! You have to learn! What is going to happen when you are working, and to need to work something out mathematically using algebra - ?!"

 

To which I replied,

 

"What the hell makes you think I would ever find - and get - a job where algebra is a pre-requisite!? No thanks! If I find a job, I'll make damn sure it's a skill I won't be needing!"

 

"Well you won't be able to take a calculator with you everywhere you go!"

 

(Oh, really? )

 

Find a career where maths isn't a pre-requisite.

[madjac74]

Well, I wasn't going to lie about running for president or going to medical school. I was thinking of saying I'm a tutor or work freelance. Something easy and casual with not alot to say or remember. I am also a good liar and prepare ahead of time, just need a made up job first.

 

I don't get how Senior Loss Prevention Supervisor at Arby's doesn't fit this perfectly

[GH101]

GH, what if your cousins are lying about how well they are doing?

Wait I just gave you a promotion...Senior Loss Prevention for Arby's

 

Well, they are lawyers, teachers, doctors and none say they're unemployed.

[madjac74]

haha ok! They sound legitimate then. I'm the starting short stop for the Chicago Cubs

[GH101]

Then you really have to do some work here: on your career, your self-esteem and your opinions of your family.

If they're so harsh and judgemental that you can't even be honest with them, you have some serious soul-searching to do, about remaining connected to people who are poisonous rather than supportive.

 

 

I studied maths, in my own time, with no pressure.

 

True story:

My maths teacher was totally exasperated with me, because I could NOT get my head around algebra.

a + b = x - y = 29. what is m?

What the hell is all that crap about - ?!

 

Anyway, during one lesson, she threw her hands up in the air, and yelled at me acoss the classroom:

 

"*TaraMaiden!* Why can't you get this?! You have to learn! What is going to happen when you are working, and to need to work something out mathematically using algebra - ?!"

 

To which I replied,

 

"What the hell makes you think I would ever find - and get - a job where algebra is a pre-requisite!? No thanks! If I find a job, I'll make damn sure it's a skill I won't be needing!"

 

"Well you won't be able to take a calculator with you everywhere you go!"

 

(Oh, really? )

 

Find a career where maths isn't a pre-requisite.

 

Yea I don't get algebra either. It's really held me back from getting my degree. I am at a stand still really. What is your job that didn't require math as a requirement?

[TaraMaiden2]

Well, I wasn't going to lie about running for president or going to medical school. I was thinking of saying I'm a tutor

"Oh really? What do you teach?

Where are you working?

How many students do you have?

How often do you teach?

How old are your students?

How long have you been doing that?

 

 

or work freelance.

Doing what?

What's your latest project?

For whom?

How long will it take?

What's the pay like?

What are you working on, at the moment?

What hours?

How do you advertise?

Do you have a website?

How much do you charge?

 

Something easy and casual with not alot to say or remember.

Yeah, right.

The above questions will also need fielding. People are not just going to not ask you questions, particularly if they haven't seen you for a while.

You're going to have to do better than that.

And as you have a successful career, of course, you'll need to dress the part....

 

I am also a good liar and prepare ahead of time, just need a made up job first.

That's bull.

If you were really a good liar, you would have worked out a failsafe plan already.

[TaraMaiden2]

Yea I don't get algebra either. It's really held me back from getting my degree. I am at a stand still really. What is your job that didn't require math as a requirement?

I previously ran my own company.

Then we moved abroad, and was put in charge of our local camp-site, which I ran and administered single-handedly.

Then I came back to here, and ran a delicatessen/bistro for 5 years as a manager.

Then I worked as a department head within a garden centre, and was responsible for a departmental budget of £120,000/year.

[madjac74]

"Oh really? What do you teach?

Where are you working?

How many students do you have?

How often do you teach?

How old are your students?

How long have you been doing that?

 

 

 

Doing what?

What's your latest project?

For whom?

How long will it take?

What's the pay like?

What are you working on, at the moment?

What hours?

How do you advertise?

Do you have a website?

How much do you charge?

 

Yeah, right.

The above questions will also need fielding. People are not just going to not ask you questions, particularly if they haven't seen you for a while.

You're going to have to do better than that.

And as you have a successful career, of course, you'll need to dress the part....

 

 

That's bull.

If you were really a good liar, you would have worked out a failsafe plan already.

 

Just out of curiosity Tara. What would you say if I was the Senior Loss Prevention Supervisor at Arby's?

[madjac74]

Then I worked as a department head within a garden centre, and was responsible for a departmental budget of £120,000/year.

 

budget = math