Mick1 Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 (edited) First post here and I am doing this from my phone so here goes- Background- I'm 31 and I have been with my partner who is also 31 for about a year and a half. She has two kids and I have none. We are currently engaged. Early on in the relationship was tough and has been an emotional roller coaster. Our first fight was because she went out with her guy friends at a bar. She told me that these guys were nothing and simply just good friends. So I told her since they were such good people that I should meet them. So I drove to the place and she was with 3 or so guys and she really didn't pay me much attention. She then told me that she didn't want to be with me anymore right at the bar. This was about a month after we were dating. I broke it off that night, drank my beer at the bar and left. She called me the next day and apologized and said she was confused but now knows what she wants. She ended staying at one of the guys places but assured me nothing sexually transpired. I took her back after a long discussion about what she wanted and if she was ready for a relationship. Fast forward to a fight months later and she admitted that a different guy- who she told me was a friend, picked her up that night and she slept with him. I was devastated and never experienced something so hurtful. It took every ounce of me to forgive her and I told her that there can be no more guy friends if she wanted a future with me. She agreed and stopped hanging out solo with guys. So the guy that picked her up turns out that he is in the military and left on deployment. She promised not to contact him anymore- she kept doing so. I found emails and texts, different messaging apps etc. this was all in the same first few months of dating. Seeing what was discussed made me feel sick and angry to say the least. After that fight about that she promised not to talk to him anymore and things got better. Until a year later and she got drunk and drunk texted him. I told her I was done that night while she was in her drunken stupor and she agrees. The next morning she came to our room and said she was drunk and sorry for doing it. She changed her number but that still didn't even prevent her from not contacting him. Today I found out that she had been texting him yet again. It's bothersome that ones partner can discuss what we are doing on a day to day basis. The messages were like a play by play to the guy on what out weekend plans were? WTF!When confronted she came up with a story that he contracted a serious std (hiv)and had a mutual friend contact her so that she could get tested . She did go to the clinic this I know is True and shes clean. She told me that she didn't want to upset me by telling me that what's going on. I asked her then why talk to the guy about everything in our life. She says cause she feels bad that he supposedly contracted something and that he was a good friend. I ended it tonight. But after being lied to for so long and giving so many chances I feel I am making the right decision. Nobody likes to be cheated on be it emotionally or physically. I don't know if there's any truth to her story or if this is yet another lie. I told her to not waste my time. I've helped take care of her kids and have the kids at my place more than their own father to make matters worse. Not that I mind but with the way everything has been. Also she just started going to school in the same town as that guy knowing it's going to make me feel uneasy. also she's not working. She doesn't want to end us and assured me that I'm the guy she wants to spend her life with. After I yelled at her today and told her to pack her stuff she still says that she loves me and I'm the one for her and nobody else. In life we live by decisions and I don't want to look back on my life and regret staying. I grow tired often thinking how one can do this to their supposed partner. I just don't understand it . If one is going to cheat why can't they just live a single persons life? Edited September 21, 2015 by Mick1 Link to post Share on other sites
ManyDissapoint Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 (edited) You will never find romantic happiness until you grow a backbone and act like a man. You should have kicked this s*ut to the curb that very first night with the three dudes. To answer your question of how can she do this? It's because she doesn't respect you, and for whatever reason thinks its okay to manipulate you and try to squeeze the life from you while going after other men that she really wants. This is a case of wolf meets sheep. Edited September 21, 2015 by ManyDissapoint Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mick1 Posted September 21, 2015 Author Share Posted September 21, 2015 Thanks-she is gone and I already feel so much better. Time to get a new phone number and since my lease is month to month I'll be out living in a new place by the end of next week! Time to get a dog!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
coryreply Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Good luck in the future, bro. She sounds like a very broken person. I pray she gets the help she needs for herself and her kids. Link to post Share on other sites
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