pinkpositive Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Dreams & Goal VS Abortion VS Relationship. Right Now I really need someone to talk to. I feel so lost, guilty, alone and Lonely. I'm a type of person who have a big dreams in life that I want to achieve and succeed in life. Last 2012 - I was in 4th year college when I got pregnant. I found out that Im pregnant at 4months already. I decided to abort the Baby. Abortion was successful. Only me and my ex boyfriend knows this. I kept it to myself since abortion is illegal in my country. I'm had hard time to recover mentally and made me decide to move from another city and broke up my boyfriend and start over again. I made promise to myself that I will not do abortion again. Last 2013 - This is the time where I found my Boyfriend online. We've been dating online for 2years we love each other and we both are happy. Last August 2015 - We met in person for the First Time. We had a great time and love each other even more. He went back to his country after a week. It was a hard battle for me to be apart again and live alone again. Last September last week - I missed my Period and Found out Im 6weeks pregnant. I was frustrated cos we both dont want to have a baby yet. We're not financially stable. My boyfriend suggested me to abort the baby. He didnt know Ive been pregnant before. I had hard time to decide. He convince me to do it and I also agreed as soon as possible. I had medical abortion. I have to do it on my own and alone. Im living in my own place. Second week of September - Medical Abortion was complete. I am Physically weak and Mentally is even worst. Im having hard time to sleep cos whenever I sleep all the Flashback from the past and now is coming back. The Pain, the process of abortion and the guilt. I feel so depressed. I cannot sleep well and I only need my baby back. Last week - I lost my conscious while in a shower. Been unconscious for 30mins and no one helped but myself. I know im mentally not ok cos my moods is changes and I hate everything in my life and dont know where to go and whom to ask advise. My boyfriend is also trying hard to help me even he's far from me but its not working at all. I want myself back but i dont know how. Lots of question in my mind: Do I need to tell my boyfriend about my past experience of abortion? Doing this make me feel ok and move forward? Would he mad at me or would he accept me still? Or should I just keep it to myself forever? How can I forget and move on? What can I do to escape the pain of losing my baby? Please give me advise cos I really dont know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyBelieve Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Hello, I have responded to your previous posting. I highly recommend that you follow up with a doctor to get an exam to make sure you are okay. Don't be afraid of telling your doctor the truth because it would be very helpful. Your health is priority right now. You have to get to the point in your life that you believe in yourself and know who you are. Get to that place where you can forgive yourself from the choices, actions and decisions that you made. You forgiving yourself is very important. That's the first step in moving forward. Forgiveness is a choice not a feeling. The hurt feelings will be there, it won't go away overnight. Every time you struggle after you forgive yourself, just say, "I made the choice to forgive myself and I choose to move forward" There's someone greater that loves you and accepts you for who you are no matter what you did. Blessings and God loves you!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lobouspo Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 I'm so sorry for the emotional/physical pain you are going through. Don't mean to be harsh, but after one unwanted pregnancy/abortion, why in the world are you not using birth control? I doubt your boyfriend cares much about your past abortion, I'm sure he does not want to be on the hook for a child. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pinkpositive Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 Hi. Thank you so much. This really touches my feelings right now. I'm speechless. Maybe you are right. Forgive myself first. This really made me some kind of realization that there's still lot of things to be happy about and as long as I am breathing I can move forward and make it right this time. Thank you so much for your advise. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pinkpositive Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 Hello, I have responded to your previous posting. I highly recommend that you follow up with a doctor to get an exam to make sure you are okay. Don't be afraid of telling your doctor the truth because it would be very helpful. Your health is priority right now. You have to get to the point in your life that you believe in yourself and know who you are. Get to that place where you can forgive yourself from the choices, actions and decisions that you made. You forgiving yourself is very important. That's the first step in moving forward. Forgiveness is a choice not a feeling. The hurt feelings will be there, it won't go away overnight. Every time you struggle after you forgive yourself, just say, "I made the choice to forgive myself and I choose to move forward" There's someone greater that loves you and accepts you for who you are no matter what you did. Blessings and God loves you!! Hi. Thank you so much. This really touches my feelings right now. I'm speechless. Maybe you are right. Forgive myself first. This really made me some kind of realization that there's still lot of things to be happy about and as long as I am breathing I can move forward and make it right this time. Thank you so much for your advise. Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyBelieve Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Hey! I was just following up to see how are you doing? Blessings, Link to post Share on other sites
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