Personal Demons? How do you all deal with them?

[Biscous]

These pop up in my head once in a while. I have been depressed in the past but I consider myself a happy and accomplished person. There are times though that I do feel insecure and if I'm 'good enough'. There has been times I felt invisible and wonder what the hell is wrong with me?!

 

I think my bigger issue right now recently is that I have gone though a break up recently but that is simply a catalyst to some of my inner feelings.

 

Even before her I felt a bit invisible to others. I would go out to places with people and people would shake my hand and be nice to an extent, but I didn't feel included. People cracking jokes and having fun with others but when it comes to me being very laconic and not trying to engage me.

 

Other times I felt invisible. This would be amplified more when I would go to the store and people would invade my personal space. I'm a 6' tall big black man, do you not see me?!

 

Going to the gym or work and trying to extend a smile to someone only to get a blank face. Maybe it's my own perception or maybe I'm a sensitive person.

 

I think I sometimes buy things because I am unhappy in hopes of being happier. I've noticed I've been slightly addicted to buying thing here and there but I've controlled it now with other activities I enjoy.

 

I would talk to my family more about this but I don't want to come of as whining and I want them to be proud of me and not worry about me, but sometimes this stuff eats away with me.

 

I've been considering moving because I've struggled to fit in a bit more here, but moving here has done great things for my career and people respect me.

 

I just want to know what you guys do. Personal demons don't always make sense but they are battles I feel like we encounter.

[Sped2015]

You just have your good days and your bad days. You just can't let it dictate your life... Much easier said than done. Might I suggest a pet of and kind to distract you

[newmoon]

i feel similarly at times. i think we all do. and the shopping thing can't fill the void of whatever the root problem is, it somehow leaves you more depressed afterwards. i generally try - very hard - to examine what is the problem - is it work? friends? family? etc. and then begin to problem-solve. i don't give up any activities i love, i try to do them more, and i usually choose one area of my life to work on improving to get out of the rut. it's a bit of a rut is all, you just have to work through it. i find that a vacation away often helps me to come back to my daily life refocused.

[thunder777]

wont go into your self dislike, but maybe in yourself you are saying no.

 

sometimes to feel included i have to say "yes to life" even though in spirit id rather avoid, go back to my cave and do nothing

 

play the avoid game, youll never go anywhere its a vicious circle

 

you being single is a new plain, youd probably prefer to back in relationship so you wont have to think about all this solitary battles yea?

 

nonetheless id recommend joining a team of some sort, some kind of sport, mateship in your life working towards a common goal

 

or maybe its your health being dented, smoking? alcohol? free your soul of toxins, well i should anyway