Author Confusedovo Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 Girl, your the one chasing him and if you would stop sending him the "I'm available" signal this would just die a natural death and he, his wife and their new baby can have a normal life. Nothing will happen unless you make it happen so lets stop the BS, your playing with tree lives. Just what are you trying to prove by asking a bunch of betrayed people on a infidelity forum their opinion about starting an affair with a married man about to have his first child? Why not post on the other man/other women thread where you will find all kinds of support. Men and women that will date a married person are no different than a married person that will cheat on their spouse. They have no respect for boundaries. Remember if they'll do it with you they will do it to you. Lol ok. You clearly haven't read all of my posts about this. He persued me after not hearing from me for a few days. He asked me to go meet with him. I didn't ask him. You clearly want to think this is all my doing. That he's hopelessly being chased and chased by a woman, with no say in anything. I'm sure for your own personal reasons, but that's ridiculous. I didn't know where else to post this! Like I said in my opening post. I'm actually a bit concerned if he's OK. Hes changed his pic to this sad pic of Jesus crying. I dunno...its probably nothing but I care. Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 because it has a very negative vibe that doesnt neccessarily fit all situations where to people meet and fall in love, its a clichee not reality, for me atleast. im for the truth being told but under some circumstances that can be delayed, but therefore i dont want to call it an affair, anyways now that i have written it so many times i dont mind;) This is so la la land! If one person is married and not in an open relationship they aren't supposed to be dating and falling in love with another. Why should truth be delayed? So the knife can be driven in further? It is an affair, a betrayal of trust, a side relationship. It is indeed negative to the other spouse, no matter what you choose to call it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 I sent a text the day after (so yesterday) just an inside joke we have. It was just a small non important text. He didn't reply (has read it and been online since) but I haven't sent anything since. I'm sitting on my hands. I'm wondering if he feels he crossed a line Monday, so is feeling guilty. Or worried his wife thinks something is up. Maybe she questioned her about his walk? Or maybe he's just done with me. But I'd think he'd have not read my text and just block, if he 100% was? Or maybe he didn't think he "should" reply, as it wasn't a question or anything. Oh my god...who cares. He is not interested, nor available. Let it go. He may have considered getting an easy lay, but is deciding now to avoid. He's just not that into you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedovo Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 Oh my god...who cares. He is not interested, nor available. Let it go. He may have considered getting an easy lay, but is deciding now to avoid. He's just not that into you. "Who cares"? Who do you think cares? Well I'm not going to come to that conclusion, based on one unanswered text sent just yesterday. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Lol ok. You clearly haven't read all of my posts about this. He persued me after not hearing from me for a few days. He asked me to go meet with him. I didn't ask him. You clearly want to think this is all my doing. That he's hopelessly being chased and chased by a woman, with no say in anything. I'm sure for your own personal reasons, but that's ridiculous. I didn't know where else to post this! Like I said in my opening post. I'm actually a bit concerned if he's OK. Hes changed his pic to this sad pic of Jesus crying. I dunno...its probably nothing but I care. I must have misunderstood what you meant when you posted "I made my move." 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pheonixrisen Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 because it has a very negative vibe that doesnt neccessarily fit all situations where to people meet and fall in love, its a clichee not reality, for me atleast. im for the truth being told but under some circumstances that can be delayed, but therefore i dont want to call it an affair, anyways now that i have written it so many times i dont mind;) Lol this had me laughing ...you could call it apple, oranges or mango ...In your own little cukoo land ...its still an Affair , betrayal, lying , cheating ....when 2 people meet and start a relationship when 1 or both partner are in committed relationship elsewhere ...if your story was what classic love stories are made off ..why not wait get divorced and start a new love story that's not based on a foundation of lies and harm to other people involved ... I understand there are some mmarriages that are bad and not salvageable ..but an affair is never the answer . .its a mess in an already messy situation ... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 (edited) Ms Faust, Just because she chased and is 100% willing to cross that line does not mean he is not grooming. I just means they are both heading down a slippery ugly slope. IMHO Confusedovo, I'm actually a bit concerned if he's OK. Hes changed his pic to this sad pic of Jesus crying. I dunno...its probably nothing but I care. You do not know this guy. You have only met a couple of times. You are building castles, great and wonderful castles, out of air. They have no substance. You are coming up with all kinds of imaginary stories in your head to explain/justify this ... thing. Why the sad jesus? He feels crappy about chatting with you or his dog is sick or someone he knows is having issues and he did it to show support. Why? None of your concern. You are not his W, you are not his GF, you are not his friend. I won't call it an A. It isn't even a relationship. You threw your line in the water with this guy. He nibbled at the bait then spit it out and went home to his W. Confusedovo, I am sorry if this comes off harsh. But almost every OW on LS will tell you they thought their A was unique. Nobody understands, nobody can know the depth of the feelings, and you think that all the horrors others are dealing with could never be visited on you. But we do understand. And most of us have felt the amazing highs and devastating lows so we know the vast range and strength of your feelings. And many of us have the scars to show how crippling an A can be. As are so very easy to get into. And the excuses you come up with are common. "the wife is not taking care of him, he loves us both in different ways, they are just like roommates, she is mean to him..." the list goes on. Eventually, the majority of As end up destroying. Sometimes the only person that gets fried is the AP (you). You fall in love, they claim to love you, your life starts to revolve around the stolen moments, you begin to turn down opportunities that you enjoy incase they call or can sneak away. It is like going into stasis, everything is on hold waiting for him to give you crumbs. You give all your power to him. Before you know it years have gone by and you are exactly where you were. Alone. I hope you find peace. But if you are looking to the MM, I promise you that you won't find it. Edited September 23, 2015 by eye of the storm Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Confusedovo, I am sorry if this comes off harsh. But almost every OW on LS will tell you they thought their A was unique. Nobody understands, nobody can know the depth of the feelings, and you think that all the horrors others are dealing with could never be visited on you. But we do understand. And most of us have felt the amazing highs and devastating lows so we know the vast range and strength of your feelings. And many of us have the scars to show how crippling an A can be. Repeated for Truth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Girl Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Gee if I knew someone was obsessing as much as this over me after a week id run a mile. He probable sensed a Stage 5 clinger and decided it wasn't worth the trouble. Move on. It's pretty simple. If he was into you he'd have answered your text. Oh, and get counselling. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Quote - "I'm actually a bit concerned if he's OK. Hes changed his pic to this sad pic of Jesus crying. I dunno...its probably nothing but I care." So...he might be the bleeding heart kind. If you do care (as much as anyone can after a couple of contacts) LEAVE HIM ALONE. Any married man with his first child about to be born will be feeling bad about what he's done. As you can tell I try to believe the best in people. Married people know that touching another woman is WRONG! Asking to secretly meet another woman & telling a blatant lie to your wife is WRONG! You don't seem to have any real experiences of healthy relationships. To believe that a heavily pregnant lady could be perfectly happy with her husband touching & flirting with a strange woman is delusional. I would of been heart broken if I found my H had done 'just' the things he's done with you. It would destroy what's supposed to be one of the happiest, SAFEST, most SECURE times in a woman's life. So what if he's tempted? So what if he feels something? This will end badly if it hasn't already ended. Please think about what you want here. You fancy this guy. What do you picture happening? What do you hope will happen? Picture him contacting you, what do you wish he would say? So you meet again, what do you want to happen? Then what happens? Really think about this. People post in all different styles but we're ALL saying the same things. This will end badly!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 I obsess on here but NOT to him. Yeah yeah...it's just simple. Cause you aint the one in my feelings. Why would a reasonably intelligent 26-yr old female be so hard up for friends and romantic companionship? Must be lots of other options out there... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedovo Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 Why would a reasonably intelligent 26-yr old female be so hard up for friends and romantic companionship? Must be lots of other options out there... Mr. Lucky I have friends. I have a few guys persuing me. I don't feel anything for those guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Have you thought about why you'd have feelings for the one guy that's unavailable? Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Trust me, I am NOT showing him I'm obsessing over him. I have text him something minor ONCE after we met up Monday. HE text ME after I DID NOT send him anything for a few times. HE asked ME to meet with him. HE initiated the physical contact while we were on this "meeting" I even said (albeit half hearted) "you shouldnt touch me like that" but he carried on. I obsess on here but NOT to him. I haven't attacked you or called your heartless. I am worried about all the "He said, He did, He asked..." It is like you have no say in this. Obsessing on here is fine. And if you use LS as a way to keep yourself from taking action, then keep obsessing. But often we use forums like this so that we can refine our excuses to continue our unhealthy actions. We often lie to ourselves way more than we lie to others. You are going to do what you are going to do. Nobody here can stop you. But at least be honest with yourself. You want to go down this path. You want to see where it takes you. As someone who went down the path and is currently struggling to recover myself, I wish I had someone talk to me before the first time. I wish someone had tried to stop the self destructive path I was heading down. But I didn't. And I have to live with my decisions. I hope you are smarter than I was. I hope you decide you are worth more than this. Link to post Share on other sites
Noideanow Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 everything i have written previously i Will say again (a couple of hateful replies compell me to say this), doesnt matter that 19 out of 20 think Im an idiot;) like Someone once Said: sometimes i wonder if its me or all the rest thats crazy;) i just support the lady in exploring those feelings and taking her own journey in this and learn from it, and protect hersfelf. she is a grown woman in love:cool: thats a powerful thing that your arguments Cannot stop and with all your sweetness and (lack of) empathy i doubt she Will take you seriously-/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedovo Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 Have you thought about why you'd have feelings for the one guy that's unavailable? Mr. Lucky Hes just my type. His looks, the way he talks, we have a few things in common and I feel protected when we are together. Whatever anyone says...he made me feel like he really cared when we were together (not through text really, but I guess he has to be a bit careful through text) Yes it's true I don't know him well. But who hasn't felt something for someone very early on? I'm not claiming love here. But he is the type of guy I could fall for like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Noideanow Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Have you thought about why you'd have feelings for the one guy that's unavailable? Mr. Lucky Are you jealous? couldnt it not be he is just the sexiest/most attractive/Best quality man she has met? Uhh but that is not an answer we like..-) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Hes just my type. His looks, the way he talks, we have a few things in common and I feel protected when we are together. Whatever anyone says...he made me feel like he really cared when we were together (not through text really, but I guess he has to be a bit careful through text) Yes it's true I don't know him well. But who hasn't felt something for someone very early on? I'm not claiming love here. But he is the type of guy I could fall for like that. You know everyone here is just trying to help you. That is what you came here for. There are thousands of people out there that just might be your type but it doesn't mean its a good idea to put yourself in that position. You can go ahead and do that but I seriously think your making a mistake but like I said earlier if learning from what others have gone through isn't enough for you then you need to learn your own lessons the hard way. Hopefully someone will give his wife the heads up she deserves to she can go find a man her type. Someone that is not a loser. Good luck C Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Are you jealous? couldnt it not be he is just the sexiest/most attractive/Best quality man she has met? Uhh but that is not an answer we like..-) How old are you? Real question. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedovo Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 (edited) So I'm personality disordered, and he's......just a man right? I know you aren't all saying its all my fault. I know some of you are just trying to talk sense into me, if you want to put it like that. And I'm thankful to those people. But some of you have such sexist views, and are not seeing his part in this at all... SoulStorm: I'm not your ex, or your mother, or whoever has PD in your life. Also I'm interested in how you seriously think I'm playing him. To me that's a joke. Edited September 23, 2015 by Confusedovo Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Do you think he's evil? I will answer it: YES. He has a What'sApp account? That is one of those things that most cheaters use. A married man with a child on the way does not need that type of app. He was touching you inappropriately. Again, that is something cheaters do. Did he go home and tell his wife about you? Probably not. Because he is a skank. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedovo Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 I will answer it: YES. He has a What'sApp account? That is one of those things that most cheaters use. A married man with a child on the way does not need that type of app. He was touching you inappropriately. Again, that is something cheaters do. Did he go home and tell his wife about you? Probably not. Because he is a skank. Yeah he has WhatsApp. He also has two phones. He gave me one number the day we met, but text on a different number. Maybe one is for work or something, but I did wonder why. Link to post Share on other sites
pheonixrisen Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 everything i have written previously i Will say again (a couple of hateful replies compell me to say this), doesnt matter that 19 out of 20 think Im an idiot;) like Someone once Said: sometimes i wonder if its me or all the rest thats crazy;) i just support the lady in exploring those feelings and taking her own journey in this and learn from it, and protect hersfelf. she is a grown woman in love:cool: thats a powerful thing that your arguments Cannot stop and with all your sweetness and (lack of) empathy i doubt she Will take you seriously-/ It's really funny how a group of strangers on the forum are suppose to show empathy to op ...when she shows none to the w....whose journey is going to directly /indirectly cause huge emotional trauma to w. ..who if they pursue this sorry state of a situation will not get the choice to decide if she wanted to be a part of the dynamic that is going to break her family apart ... and we are the ones who must show empathy ....Bravo! And to add you do have the victim attitude one of the poster mentioned you may have personality issues if their was abuse in your life ....He never said you are evil for being abused ...when people suffer abuse of any kind do develop issues that's text book ...not him taking a jab at you ... Look we are here posting with you ...the mm is def wrong ..After all it takes a special kind of ******* to get touchy feely with another woman with a pregnant wife at home... Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 she is a grown woman in love she isn't in love. she has a crush & feels attracted to this man. how can you fall in love with someone you know for a WEEK? to TRULY fall in love with a person, you have to at least get to know them a little bit... no? to "lose your head" & fall in love with someone you know for a couple of days is actually a characteristic of emotionally immature people -- that's an impulsive reaction. like, what exactly is she in love with? what does she know about this man? & again, if you're so allergic to illusions - why are you running away from calling things by their real name? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Are you jealous? couldnt it not be he is just the sexiest/most attractive/Best quality man she has met? Uhh but that is not an answer we like..-) it's not about liking or not liking the answer -- it's pretty incredible that she knows this man she met WEEK ago & from those few encounters they had, she made a conclusion about him being the best quality man she ever met. not to mention that it speaks volumes about her if a dude who cheats on his pregnant wife is the best quality man she ever met -- what kind of scum she hangs around with? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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