such thing as a season of "deliverance'?

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

I have only had five sexual partners outside of marriage and only one boyfriend. And I have been single for the past wait for it.... 12 years. Okay so I finally understood why that made a lot of men run in the other direction... I think they were curious more of the fact "could she BE in a relationship" does she even know what a relationship involves?"

 

But what i have realized... I am scared of intimacy... why? because it's the fear of the unknown, fear of being hurt, fear of being loved and fear of being exposed and realizing I have several years to catch up before I am just like every normal person in a normal relationship.

 

So I guess i have been healing in god lately of those fears... especially the biggest one and something I believed for so long that kept me single " no one will ever want me or no one wants me" I guess the " 12 years for single" thing isn't exactly sexy or a turn on for most and I have had that feeling from childhood. I am ready to grow up and be in something that will last for the rest of my life.

 

 

first of all, can you go through a "season of deliverance"? seems like I keep crying and healing in God all the time the more I spend time with him... is this a season of healing?

 

Would a guy need to be really patient in order to date someone that's been left on the shelf for several years?

 

 

for a while there, I thought I could just sleep with lots of men to make up for lost time, get lots of experience, because I thought most people in the world had slept with lots of people and I didn't and I thought if I did, only THEN would i be considered desirable.

 

I think I have realized I just have a deep fear of intimacy, but that God has been healing it consistently... has anyone had a fear of intimacy only for it to be healed by God?

[impatiently_patient]

Dunno...

 

Great Opeth song though: