Man records video of his wife abusing him - article

[Frank2thepoint]

Men are often subjected to domestic violence, but because they are far less likely to suffer from physical harm, they usually either don’t report the assaults because they don’t realize they’ve been abused or are afraid that if they take their claims to the police they will be ignored or ridiculed.

 

Even the headline of the article, using the word "Allegedly" is directly attempting to downplay this man's ordeal of abuse, even though he has proof.

 

Abuse is wrong in all forms. Physical and emotional. But this article points out how men often don't report it because societal expectations are that a man has to endure it.

 

http://www.babwnews.com/2015/09/gopro-footage-helps-us-army-ranger-bust-his-allegedly-abusive-wife-video/

[mrldii]

Even the headline of the article, using the word "Allegedly" is directly attempting to downplay this man's ordeal of abuse, even though he has proof...

 

 

Nahhhhhh. Any news source that would like to stay in the business OF being a news source uses the word "allegedly" until the "suspect" is actually committed of the crime.

 

Yes, any violence of any sort - and especially violence that occurs within the home and/or within a "loving" relationship - is wrong and should be reported.

Edited September 23, 2015 by mrldii

[jen1447]

Nahhhhhh. Any news source that would like to stay in the business OF being a news source uses the word "allegedly" until the "suspect" is actually committed convicted of the crime.

 

I think you meant that.

[Mrlonelyone]

I was about to post a thread on this myself. Army Ranger uses GoPro in domestic violence case: A new line of defense? - CSMonitor.com

 

Yeah it is a shame how it will be disbelieved and played down when the victim is a male. There is a great bias when it comes to domestic violence that a male cannot be a victim of a woman. (Or they'll put it 90% of victims are female ignoring the fact that 90% of male victims would not report it for fear of being denigrated, or disbelieved.)

 

VAWA the Violence against women act, while needed was named and written as if only women face violence.

 

DV shelters and services are targeted at women only and will not help men.

 

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people face DV but such services are often unable or unwilling to help them. gay and bi men, and male to female transwomen (even after the op) are often left without shelter if thrown out by a abusive spouse or partner. Outside of the biggest of cities such people have no support to rely on at all.

 

Not to mention situations where the male is black or hispanic and the female is white. DV situations are one place where due to the above perceptions such a woman can, after cops are called, have power over a man.

 

That is why I love that he caught her on tape saying "Call the police I'll tell them you hit me". Without that camera he would have been taken to jail. No if's and's or but's about it. .

[mrldii]

I think you meant that.

 

 

Thank you; yes, it is. First Sip of First Cup of Coffee Syndrome...I can not be held responsible for ANYthing I might type before my third cup.

 

[Robert]

let's post to the topic and post helpful info please, thanks

[TaraMaiden2]

There was a video circulating some time ago, about the different public attitudes to a guy being abusive towards a woman - in full public view - and then a woman being abusive towards a guy, again, in full public view.

This was a social experiment, and no assaults were really tkimng place, but it was a chilling spectacle, to see the difference in responses from the viewing observers.

 

Well, my goodness, it happened.

I was in town yesterday, and there was a woman having a screaming match with a man, and it was obvious that he was on the defensive, and she was accusing him of something.

It had something to do with money, and she was accusing him of having stolen it out of her purse.

He was adamant he was innocent.

And then - bam.

She went for him.

Pulled his hair, had her hand round his throat.

 

Now, I hate to say it, but she was a big lady, and full of rage, so actually, I stayed back, but began filming on my 'phone.

Another couple, close by, intervened, and told her to back off. It quickly became clear that they all knew each other, but there was no mistaking their interference was to prevent her from escalating an already violent situation.

She was bearing the brunt of their interjection.

Angry words were exchanged, but the restraint was all being administered against her.

 

Shortly afterwards, two Police Officers turned up.

They began asking what had happened, and four voices were raised.

 

I quietly crept up behind one officer and as he turned to me, I said "I filmed the whole thing".

The abusive woman then turned on me (fortunately, she achieved nothing, except being put in handcuffs!) and I emailed the film to the officer's work-phone.

I also gave a statement.

 

I may not have actually been able to prevent the assault, or interject, but if I could have, I would have.

She was charged with assault and cautioned.

 

Her woman friend found the "missing money" at the bottom of the woman's handbag, in an envelope.

She had mislaid it all along.

[dragon_fly_7]

Good for him. She can now rot in jail where she deserves.

[pteromom]

There is a great bias when it comes to domestic violence that a male cannot be a victim of a woman.

 

I wouldn't say bias as much as there is a general belief that men cannot be victims of physical abuse because men are typically bigger and stronger than women. And also, there are many men who are afraid to report because they think it takes away their "man card" to do so.

 

The only way this will change is for abused men to tell their stories so that people shift their thinking.

 

I feel badly for anyone who is abused, whether they are male or female. It's a sad, scary life to live.

[Keenly]

There was a video circulating some time ago, about the different public attitudes to a guy being abusive towards a woman - in full public view - and then a woman being abusive towards a guy, again, in full public view.

This was a social experiment, and no assaults were really tkimng place, but it was a chilling spectacle, to see the difference in responses from the viewing observers.

 

Well, my goodness, it happened.

I was in town yesterday, and there was a woman having a screaming match with a man, and it was obvious that he was on the defensive, and she was accusing him of something.

It had something to do with money, and she was accusing him of having stolen it out of her purse.

He was adamant he was innocent.

And then - bam.

She went for him.

Pulled his hair, had her hand round his throat.

 

Now, I hate to say it, but she was a big lady, and full of rage, so actually, I stayed back, but began filming on my 'phone.

Another couple, close by, intervened, and told her to back off. It quickly became clear that they all knew each other, but there was no mistaking their interference was to prevent her from escalating an already violent situation.

She was bearing the brunt of their interjection.

Angry words were exchanged, but the restraint was all being administered against her.

 

Shortly afterwards, two Police Officers turned up.

They began asking what had happened, and four voices were raised.

 

I quietly crept up behind one officer and as he turned to me, I said "I filmed the whole thing".

The abusive woman then turned on me (fortunately, she achieved nothing, except being put in handcuffs!) and I emailed the film to the officer's work-phone.

I also gave a statement.

 

I may not have actually been able to prevent the assault, or interject, but if I could have, I would have.

She was charged with assault and cautioned.

 

Her woman friend found the "missing money" at the bottom of the woman's handbag, in an envelope.

She had mislaid it all along.

 

Good. I'm tired of the women who think it's okay to do things like this and then cry foul when the man defends himself.

 

We need a high profile media frenzy case where a woman is convicted of domestic violence to show the many female abusers that just because men don't hit women doesn't mean that women can hit men.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

There was a video circulating some time ago, about the different public attitudes to a guy being abusive towards a woman - in full public view - and then a woman being abusive towards a guy, again, in full public view.

This was a social experiment, and no assaults were really tkimng place, but it was a chilling spectacle, to see the difference in responses from the viewing observers.

 

Something like this, this is what I could quickly find? :

Theres a more popular vid out, but along the same lines.

It IS truly amazing, the social taboos laid out to rest,

It's amazing to think we demand equality, yet fail when put to the test.

[jen1447]

^ I wish we could put this story in a virtual museum or sth to show all the fear-monger types who rage about domestic violence calls being 'automatic' jail for one or the other - usually the guy. That's just not the case, bc most times, just like in this account, the police actually investigate and make determinations of validity before just carting someone away. It's not that hard to evaluate - scratches, defensive wounds, etc. Plus they've been around the block and seen it all before and they're not easily tricked.

[bathtub-row]

When a guy is abused, it puts him in a very bad position. To compound the problem, women who are willing to act this way toward a man are usually willing to take things very far - meaning that if he leaves, she will make his life a nightmare.

 

Of course, men as a whole have created this prejudice toward themselves in terms of abuse because, historically speaking, the majority of abusers have been men. The view needs to change, though, in order to protect the abused males.

[Woggle]

I remember one time I was in a Target and a woman was beating the living crap out of husband and people were laughing about it including men. He had a bloody nose and while they were thrown out of the store no cops were called. There certainly is a double standard with this.

[TaraMaiden2]

Woggle, hopefully you'll know that attitudes here, on this forum, do not reflect that, and that attitudes are changing for the better.

It's up to those who object to double standards, to make themselves heard.

 

Police Forces in the UK, specifically Domestic Abuse Units, are constantly receiving training and instruction on how to handle abuse by either gender.

However, it is still sadly evident that the majority of reported cases are still very much man-on-woman. The statistics available show a huge disparity in figures. Even taking unreported instances into account, the numbers game is still much higher regarding MvW than vice-versa.

 

 

Once, yes, I grant you, woman-on-man was not taken seriously.

Now, it's just as relevant, serious and despicable as any form of abuse could be.

And it is taken as so, by such units.

 

I hope that helps.

Edited September 26, 2015 by TaraMaiden2

[bathtub-row]

I remember one time I was in a Target and a woman was beating the living crap out of husband and people were laughing about it including men. He had a bloody nose and while they were thrown out of the store no cops were called. There certainly is a double standard with this.

 

People can be such crap sometimes. I can't imagine why anyone would find that funny.

[Mrlonelyone]

My story is not always how things go down. One of my best friends came home one day to the police at his home. His wife called them saying that she was afraid he was going to hurt her. He was given 5-10 minutes to gather what belongings he could and leave. That was her way of breaking things up with him, and because he was a man, it worked.

 

Oh yeah. I have heard that it is a common tactic in divorce proceedings to use such accusations to create "facts on the ground" that favor the wife (and sometimes the husband).

 

Before a divorce filing go get a restraining order you get

 

Them out of the house.

Custody of the kids and major assets.

Possession of any legal papers left behind.

 

Courts are more savvy to this these days. But still many think they should "err on the side of caution".

[jen1447]

My story is not always how things go down.

 

No, but it demonstrates that the inverse isn't the way it always goes down, which is what's so often asserted.

[ThugLifing]

Good for him. Hopefully he gets full custody of his kids. Domestic violence against men doesn't get much attention.

 

I've been attacked by a drunken ex gf before while driving. She smashed my phone against the dash so I couldn't call the cops. I pulled into a store parking lot and asked some guy to call the cops and he thought I was joking. I ended up leaving before the cops showed up. The ex begged me to because her daughter had some kind of competition the next day. While she deserved to go to jail, I figured her daughter already has to deal with a crazy mom, she didn't need to miss something important.

 

And I was worried my ex would lie and say I attacked her considering the size difference between us. I was never scared about being actually hurt but worried I would lose my cool and fight back, then I'd be screwed. I think that's a fear a lot of men dealing with DV have.

 

Oh and my ex gf was diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder. I'm sure that's a trend with abusers. I can't imagine how bad my life would've been if I had knocked her up.

[buck3200]

....and then there is the problem of women who will fake abuse or make other false allegations or even "rat out" illegal activities she is otherwise completely alright with if the man attempts to leave the relationship.

[Mrlonelyone]

I get the feeling that people on LS have patterns of picking the wrong people. It used to be called having a bad people picker. Oh I mean more than relationships not working out...but so many men and women talking of things that are beyond the normal range of human courtship behavior.

 

Abusive women diagnoseable with NPD, BPD or HPD : A cluster of personality disorders which causes people to act out in very overly dramatic and erractic ways.

 

To mentally ill women who are often diagnosed with bipolar.

 

Men who pump and dump and act like sexual bores as if women owe them sex. Many of the women here complain of that.

 

To men who string some young woman along as if she could be the next Mrs only to have it never happen. Being no friend to that woman and a foul fiend to their wives... sociopaths.

 

The one thing LS gives us all is:

One place in the world where we can say these things do happen and be believed. Most people don't draw in or aren't drawn to these dysfunctional mates.

[Chris516]

Even the headline of the article, using the word "Allegedly" is directly attempting to downplay this man's ordeal of abuse, even though he has proof.

 

Abuse is wrong in all forms. Physical and emotional. But this article points out how men often don't report it because societal expectations are that a man has to endure it.

 

GoPro footage helps US Army Ranger bust his allegedly abusive wife [VIDEO]

DITTO!!!

 

Several years ago ABC correspondent John Quinones started doing a series called 'What Would You Do?'. He did one segment on societal reactions to a man being abused, compared to a woman. The reaction to the woman being abused was expectantly angry. The man being abused, was that he deserved it. Typical societal stereotype. Of course they were all actors for the show. But it showed glaringly. The still present societal bias against men.