Any successful story with a passive aggressive partner ?

[Phoenician]

In the first few years in a marriage , when in love with someone ;we tend to ignore red alerts ...

 

My wife is passive aggressive ; and everytime i read more about definitions and patterns ; I open my mouth from surprise .

How blind I was when i ignored all flags .

 

do they ever try at least to sacrifice very few things to maintain a marriage .

she claims that she loves me , she claims that she adores her kids .

 

yet she will never sacrifice simple things ; she makes everybody around her suffer .

 

My question is , those who live with a passive aggressive partner ; do they every change ?

[Downtown]

Phoenician, in several of your previous threads, you say that your W was diagnosed as having BPD. I note that, because nearly all BPDers "act out" instead of expressing their anger passively, it can be difficult to find any online information about these "acting in" BPDers, who are passive aggressive like your W. Not surprisingly, these BPDers are usually called "quiet borderlines" or "waif borderlines" because they usually rely on icy withdrawal and passive aggressive remarks to punish their loved ones.

 

I mention this because I have found two articles about BPDers who usually (but not always) show their anger in passive aggressive ways. You might find them insightful. One is A.J. Mahari's blog article at The Quiet Acting In Borderline and The Silent Treatment. The second is Shari Schreiber's blog article at BORDERLINE WAIFS AND UNSUNG HEROES; Rescuing The Woman Who Doesn't Want To Be Saved. Take care, Phoenician.