Sharmaine Posted May 20, 2005 Share Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by iwishiknewthen i just wish someone jumped on here and wrote: wow ...it was a whole year later when i woke up and smelled the coffee and realized what a fool i was and i wanted her back! i then callled her and told her so.... Yeah, but by the time he wakes up and smells the coffee, regrets leaving his ex and realises he wants her back, she could've long moved on herself. I'd bet this has happened loads of times. Lifes too short to sit around and wait forever for something that just wasn't meant to be. Link to post Share on other sites
fundamental Posted May 20, 2005 Share Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX Me too. I know my ex reads LS....he may even have an alias on here but I don't know who he is. I KNOW he reads LS so I'm wondering if that is why he is 100% into NC. All this talk about NC all the time could really screw up relationships I think, in certain situations... I think NC can work but I believe in trying. Once I know that I have tried and it still doesn't work, then I am ok and can move on. When I do NC, I always have doubts. I think NC is good for certain situations .... ex leaves you for another person (when you know for sure that is the reason they left), ex just walks out of your life, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author figgurinoutlife Posted May 21, 2005 Author Share Posted May 21, 2005 I think the ex always knows how you feel, regardless of what you do. So when you give up, they will know it, then try to get you back. I don't think you can keep on chasing an ex after you've done it awhile, they will take their time then and thrive on the attention, or get annoyed. If you leave they will think, "oh, man he/she is moving on, they must know they can get someone else who will appreciate them, maybe I should rethink things." I kept hope of getting back w/my ex for 9 mos. but all she did was date others, use me when she wanted me, and always knew I would be around. Well my situation was perfect I think for NC to prove I won't be walked on anymore and there is others that would love to have me. She knew through all that time that I wanted her back and didn't do anything, so friends is not the way to go unless you are completely over them. I would love to be friends w/my ex, to start all the way over from scratch, but only when the feelings for her have gone. Link to post Share on other sites
outdated Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by iwishiknewthen i just wish someone jumped on here and wrote: wow ...it was a whole year later when i woke up and smelled the coffee and realized what a fool i was and i wanted her back! i then callled her and told her so.... sighs. lord how i wish my ex would do that. i wish i would read here, someone did that for their loved one.... is there hope out there like that? calling all cars....come in please. Well it wasn't a year- about 2 and a half months, but my ex woke up and smelled the coffee. Without complete NC, without begging and pleading. She just realized life wasn't better without me. Booyah. Who knows what the future holds, but for now, I'm pretty happy. Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Outdated, did she break up with you or vice versa? Did you implement NC for the whole 2 months??? Im stuck in a situation where i am contimplating whether no contact is doing more damage than good? Its been over 2 weeks of NC and i see him at work but we just ignore each other, its so hard!! I was thinking of texting or emailing him to initate getting my things back from him...he wanted to keep it so we could get together and talk in a couple weeks but i havent heard from him since.. any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
outdated Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by queenie01 Outdated, did she break up with you or vice versa? Did you implement NC for the whole 2 months??? Im stuck in a situation where i am contimplating whether no contact is doing more damage than good? Its been over 2 weeks of NC and i see him at work but we just ignore each other, its so hard!! I was thinking of texting or emailing him to initate getting my things back from him...he wanted to keep it so we could get together and talk in a couple weeks but i havent heard from him since.. any suggestions? She broke up with me and no I didn't go complete NC. I'm convinced if I had, I'd never have gotten a second chance. What i did do was VERY limited contact. Mostly text messages and never suggestive of our relationship. I don't know how she turned or why, but I gave her the space she wanted and that seems to have been the point. I guess I let her know how I felt and then left her alone to her own devices and a toolbox rebound that didn't bother me much because I'm old enough to know that's what it was. I actually am thankful he came along because he showed her what a great guy I am. Sorry LOSER! Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 So what would you advice to me be??? I see him at work but he ignores me and he hasnt contacted me in over 2 weeks...last email conversation we had it ended by me telling him to take the time he needs, do what you gotta do and you know how to get ahold of me, and he said thanks, thats very big of you i appreciate it... So now im at a loss because its been over 3 weeks since we broke up, he still has my things at his place and there is no communication. He was the one that broke up with me tho....i still feel the same way about him, Link to post Share on other sites
outdated Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by queenie01 So what would you advice to me be??? I see him at work but he ignores me and he hasnt contacted me in over 2 weeks...last email conversation we had it ended by me telling him to take the time he needs, do what you gotta do and you know how to get ahold of me, and he said thanks, thats very big of you i appreciate it... So now im at a loss because its been over 3 weeks since we broke up, he still has my things at his place and there is no communication. He was the one that broke up with me tho....i still feel the same way about him, Well, every relationship is different Queenie, so I can't tell you exactly what you should do. Remember that you've only been apart for three weeks. I remember that time period as one of great unhappiness and confusion. This is what will keep them away. They don't want to deal with you right now. I wouldn't contact him until you can keep it together. I almost blew it by doing that. They can smell the fear over the phone. So I stopped calling her period. If I needed to say something to her I texted her. No emotion. My best advice is hold out as long as you can, and if like me NC makes you uncomfortable, text or e-mail only. HOpe this helps Queenie. I know where you are but there is a light. Follow it. Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Thanks listening to you gives me some hope...i just wish he would realize what he gave up. We had such a great relationship, never fought once. I think it did sort of get boring in the end tho, it got monotoneous but if we would have communicated that could have been resolved, i could have gone out with my friends more etc.... Its just sad to me because i feel like he gave up... he told me several times that time apart will let us both know if we were right for each other. So you really feel like 3 weeks isnt that long? I will try holding out as long as i can but i do think i need to initate getting my things back from him. Link to post Share on other sites
outdated Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Three weeks is nothing. Trust me. His feelings probably won't come to light for many more weeks. Just back off and live your life. Whether he comes back or not, you still have another fifty years at least to go. Link to post Share on other sites
eastern_mystique Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 outdated: just curious, why did she break up with you and what were her reasons for getting back together with you? Did she 'lose' her feelings and then after time 'rediscover' them again? Anyway, hope it goes well for you, it'd be great to hear a success story for once..... Link to post Share on other sites
outdated Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by eastern_mystique outdated: just curious, why did she break up with you and what were her reasons for getting back together with you? Did she 'lose' her feelings and then after time 'rediscover' them again? Anyway, hope it goes well for you, it'd be great to hear a success story for once..... She broke up with me I think mostly because of fear, and the thought that I was going to flee town to NYC. I had an offer to work there, and I considered it, but ultimately turned it down. I think that combined with the fact that we were and are very close and best friends, and she didn't want to face it ending that so she ended it before her feelings got the best of her. I know that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, what I'm basically saying is that she feared an ultimate rejection (that wasn't forthcoming) and decided to save herself the pain and walk away. Now that she sees that my feet are firmly planted where I am, the walls began to come back down as she realized how good we are together. Now I don't want to give the impression that we're back off to the races, 'cause that would be stupid. Day by day, slowly, and lots of communication are the only way that it will work. I know there are a lot of skeptics, but then again only I and her know our relationship. She never lost her feelings, and both of us "saw" another person, which lasted a total of about fourteen seconds. Link to post Share on other sites
whtelightn Posted May 26, 2005 Share Posted May 26, 2005 queenie01 wrote: Thanks listening to you gives me some hope...i just wish he would realize what he gave up. We had such a great relationship, never fought once. I think it did sort of get boring in the end tho, it got monotoneous but if we would have communicated that could have been resolved, i could have gone out with my friends more etc.... Its just sad to me because i feel like he gave up... he told me several times that time apart will let us both know if we were right for each other. So you really feel like 3 weeks isnt that long? I will try holding out as long as i can but i do think i need to initate getting my things back from him. 3 weeks is not long enough. I am in the same position with my ex. Ignore him and I did for 3 months before she made the contact. Right now NC is the best. Don;t contact him over the things, if you can do without it. However we are back to NC again after 6 months of she made contact and if I ignored her she would find a way to talk to me like simple things. Link to post Share on other sites
caninou Posted May 26, 2005 Share Posted May 26, 2005 1 day of NC for me youhouuu LOL After fighting for my ex for 3 months (i REALLY love her more than anything in my life), i finally decided to try NC. We brocke (in fact she chose to break..) cos i was not giving her enough free space. Many times i told her my feelings since the break but she didnt give me a chance. I only know that last month, she still had feelings for me, she said me herself but she doesnt want a relation. So i cross my fingers that NC will give something . Ah, girls are complicated (if i say this it's cos im a girl too ) Link to post Share on other sites
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