regret143 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 We are trying to agree between us on how to divide property, instead of giving what we fight for to the lawyers... What we have : 2 cars, 1 motorcycle, 1 house (1/3 is paid off), my 401k, an apartment overseas (I bought before I met her) we started dividing the house equally. then she wanted more of the house because her dad gifted money for downpayment. Then I sent her a proposal, where she would get about 70% of it because I would keep 401k and motorcycle. Then she demanded half of the apartment, which she has no right to, because it was bought before the marriage.According to her, it's hers also because she lived in it. IS THAT TRUE?? Now she is also wanting to hold the kids passports because I have family coming to stay with me. (I'm not american). Does she have the right to do it?? And also because she is unhappy with the division, she is seeking full custody claiming family violence, which is NOT TRUE. We did have a nasty fight and she got bruises to show, but she was the aggressor, I just happened to be stronger. (she broke in the bedroom, pulled a knife...) and she has an arrest for domestic violence against me. Fair or not, WILL SHE GET CUSTODY?? Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 We are trying to agree between us on how to divide property, instead of giving what we fight for to the lawyers... What we have : 2 cars, 1 motorcycle, 1 house (1/3 is paid off), my 401k, an apartment overseas (I bought before I met her) we started dividing the house equally. then she wanted more of the house because her dad gifted money for downpayment. Then I sent her a proposal, where she would get about 70% of it because I would keep 401k and motorcycle. Then she demanded half of the apartment, which she has no right to, because it was bought before the marriage.According to her, it's hers also because she lived in it. IS THAT TRUE?? Now she is also wanting to hold the kids passports because I have family coming to stay with me. (I'm not american). Does she have the right to do it?? And also because she is unhappy with the division, she is seeking full custody claiming family violence, which is NOT TRUE. We did have a nasty fight and she got bruises to show, but she was the aggressor, I just happened to be stronger. (she broke in the bedroom, pulled a knife...) and she has an arrest for domestic violence against me. Fair or not, WILL SHE GET CUSTODY?? You need a lawyer ASAP! Link to post Share on other sites
DivorcedDad123 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Luckily,you're in Texas. One of the few father friendly states when it comes to custody. I think Texas even has an "extended custody" that differs from the standard EOW. As far as your property bought before the marriage,she can't touch it. Unless that property was paid for with co-mingled money during the marriage,it's seperate property. The court isn't going to care that her parents gifted money to the purchase of the home. It was a gift to the marriage, and as such,was to both of you. Depending on the length of the marriage,she "could" be entititled up to half of your 401K. This is usually AFTER 10 years. As far as passports,if you have them,KEEP THEM,and all birth certificates,etc.,, Do you have a restraining order against her for the abuse? If not,the court won't care that she pulled a knife on you. Get to a lawyer ASAP! I can almost guarantee she's talked to one and her lawyer is trying to push you for all they can get,because the truth is,you're not going to lose nearly what she's trying to get from you. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 As the others have said, SEE A LAWYER ASAP. Just because you get a lawyer, does not mean you have to go to fully contested, fighting through court, route. A lawyer advises you. They have a legal responsibility to get the best deal they can for you, which includes limiting their fees as much as possible. It is often said that no-one wins in divorce except the lawyers but that is absolutely not true. Most lawyers (the reputable ones at least) would much rather get their client a good settlement through negotiation than through a long drawn-out court battle. They do not enjoy that kind of work, and like most people, they do not enjoy having stressed or unhappy clients. Of course if the other side is unreasonable or unwilling to negotiate then it is sometimes necessary, but if both are willing to compromise - and it sounds as though you both are - then it can be settled. But getting professional advice and guidance is worth its weight in gold. So yeah, see a lawyer. They will look at all the facts and details, and have a good knowledge of the law in your jurisdiction. They will tell you what is a fair or good deal for you in your situation. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 You actually need a good divorce lawyer who understands immigration issues. There are other wrinkles in this because you are not American. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Yep, see a lawyer. I don't believe she has any right to the overseas apartment. And the doe payment was a gift to both of you, so that argument of her deserving more doesn't hold much water. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 The US court has no jurisdiction over overseas assets. Having said that, they can take it into account in the assets they do have jurisdiction over. For example "you have the overseas property worth $X so she will get $X more from the assets here". That's just an example, it's not always a 1:1 correlation like that, it all depends on the facts and figures. A lawyer will be able to clarify after seeing all the facts and figures. Link to post Share on other sites
loveboid Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I think she's trying to take advantage of your ignorance of the law here. Sad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author regret143 Posted September 27, 2015 Author Share Posted September 27, 2015 Luckily,you're in Texas. One of the few father friendly states when it comes to custody. I think Texas even has an "extended custody" that differs from the standard EOW. As far as your property bought before the marriage,she can't touch it. Unless that property was paid for with co-mingled money during the marriage,it's seperate property. I forgot to mention (just realized later), the condo overseas is financed, I am still paying for it. So she might me able to claim the equity build during the marriage, i guess. The court isn't going to care that her parents gifted money to the purchase of the home. It was a gift to the marriage, and as such,was to both of you. Depending on the length of the marriage,she "could" be entititled up to half of your 401K. This is usually AFTER 10 years. All my 401k was built during the marriage, does the 10 years still apply? As far as passports,if you have them,KEEP THEM,and all birth certificates,etc.,, Why? Honestly, her concern is legit, I am the one with family overseas. Do you have a restraining order against her for the abuse? If not,the court won't care that she pulled a knife on you. Get to a lawyer ASAP! I can almost guarantee she's talked to one and her lawyer is trying to push you for all they can get,because the truth is,you're not going to lose nearly what she's trying to get from you. I have a lawyer, I just don't have cash right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author regret143 Posted September 27, 2015 Author Share Posted September 27, 2015 You actually need a good divorce lawyer who understands immigration issues. There are other wrinkles in this because you are not American. Hopefully, that shouldn't be a problem. The law does not differentiate American parents from foreign parent. My immigration status is very stable. Actually I can start citizenship proceedings immediately, I just can't afford it right now Still, your concern is highly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Federal law does differentiate financial and support obligations for non American citizens. Read your immigration documents & the laws behind them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author regret143 Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 Federal law does differentiate financial and support obligations for non American citizens. Read your immigration documents & the laws behind them. Marriage (and divorce) is ruled exclusively by the states. As stated in the 10th amendment. What the immigration laws refers to is financial support for the immigrants in case they can't support themselves. That would fall on my in-law's backs, as they were the sponsors, but this is a totally different matter. My kids are not immigrants. Link to post Share on other sites
DivorcedDad123 Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I forgot to mention (just realized later), the condo overseas is financed, I am still paying for it. So she might me able to claim the equity build during the marriage, i guess She could try. You need to be able to prove that no comingled marital funds were used to make any payments. (Joint checking/CC,etc) All my 401k was built during the marriage, does the 10 years still apply? It really boils down to the judge and his/her mood. 10 years is now considered a long term marriage(go figure),so alot of jurisdictions use this as a guideline. A question for your lawyer. Why? Honestly, her concern is legit, I am the one with family overseas. Because this is going to be a bargaining chip she'll hold over your head long after the divorce is final. You may never see those passports again,so keep them,and any documentation you have for the kids,and all income tax records. Link to post Share on other sites
Author regret143 Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 I forgot to mention (just realized later), the condo overseas is financed, I am still paying for it. So she might me able to claim the equity build during the marriage, i guess She could try. You need to be able to prove that no comingled marital funds were used to make any payments. (Joint checking/CC,etc) All my 401k was built during the marriage, does the 10 years still apply? It really boils down to the judge and his/her mood. 10 years is now considered a long term marriage(go figure),so alot of jurisdictions use this as a guideline. A question for your lawyer. Why? Honestly, her concern is legit, I am the one with family overseas. Because this is going to be a bargaining chip she'll hold over your head long after the divorce is final. You may never see those passports again,so keep them,and any documentation you have for the kids,and all income tax records. Honestly, I will hand her the passports. for 3 reasons: I am having problems at work, and I need her to work with me, taking the kids on some of my days; We need their SSN, she is going to do it. For kids their age, the passport expires really quick, so her leverage you became useless very soon. Link to post Share on other sites
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