she said she hates me

[thomas123]

When people act in a particular way - believe them.

She's avoiding you even though she knows your activity.

Just rest on that, and carry on with your life.

 

You're really over-thinking this and asking too many questions that nobody can really answer. We can guess, based on long experience, but when push comes to shove, it is what it is.

You, here, her, there.

Separate.

 

Face it, deal with it, and then let it go.

 

how can i let it go if the conclusion isnt met yet? for now im putting it on hold for a bit. If she doesnt contact me, then i know my answer, if she does than it will depend. Im just thinking logically, a mature individual doesnt end a relationship of that long like that. Even the more immature individuals know to make it clear. Saying i hate you for saying x doesnt really seal the deal. Its not like things were on a decline before it happened. that would result to that, the previous week was perfectly fine. So it does not seem like the end., and considering how every person is different and handles situations differently, no one i ask can give a definite answer, other than herself. So this should be my last post about it.

[thomas123]

This is how my abusive relationship began.

Before I knew it what the heck was going on I was on call every single day from 5.30am until midnight with him constantly checking up on me.

 

I never did cheat on him.

I have never cheated on anyone, I don't even multi-date!!

 

Having experienced the same thing OP I would not suggest you confront her.

I would suggest you walk away and learn that dating and relationships do not mean that a person is at your beck and call and should not be expected to be. Everyone needs space and time for themselves.

 

What i said was an overeaction on my part. I didnt really believe she was cheating.

[TaraMaiden2]

What i said was an overeaction on my part. I didnt really believe she was cheating.

 

Well then you really need to rein in a check on your emotions.

Most disputes and disagreements start off with someone using hasty, abrupt and unintended slights.

 

Instead of worrying about what she's doing and when, I suggest you find some reading matter on dysfunctions in relationships and fix your 'shoot from the hip' tendencies.

 

You see, this thread started off with everyone slating your GF for her actions.

The boot is now on the other foot, because your behaviour needs addressing.

[thomas123]

Well then you really need to rein in a check on your emotions.

Most disputes and disagreements start off with someone using hasty, abrupt and unintended slights.

 

Instead of worrying about what she's doing and when, I suggest you find some reading matter on dysfunctions in relationships and fix your 'shoot from the hip' tendencies.

 

You see, this thread started off with everyone slating your GF for her actions.

The boot is now on the other foot, because your behaviour needs addressing.

 

i completely agree that my behaviour is at fault, i mean this wouldnt have happened if i kept my mouth shut. As odd as it sounds having 4 days alone, discussing with some friends made me learn from my mistakes, and i set out to never make them again.

[TaraMaiden2]

No:

What you have learnt is what Pissed her off.

She has made it clear that she hated you for accusing her of doing something , because your behaviour was controlling, clinging, possessive and unreasonable.

 

4 days is not enough time to evaluate, define, and diagnose behaviour and modify it.

 

You have apologised, but there is absolutely no indication or guarantee on anyone's part that this behaviour will not repeat.

because it's not the first time you've done it.

 

And she had enough.

I realise you mean well, but an apology is not going to give her any sense of security that a line has been drawn under this.

She knows that even if you never mention THIS issue again, you may think it, worry about it, suspect it and have resentment about it. You just won't say anything, so she will know, even without any input from you to the contrary, that you won't believe her.

That's why she's avoiding you.

Because she doesn't trust you to be sincere.

 

Give her space, ok?

[thomas123]

No:

What you have learnt is what Pissed her off.

She has made it clear that she hated you for accusing her of doing something , because your behaviour was controlling, clinging, possessive and unreasonable.

 

4 days is not enough time to evaluate, define, and diagnose behaviour and modify it.

 

You have apologised, but there is absolutely no indication or guarantee on anyone's part that this behaviour will not repeat.

because it's not the first time you've done it.

 

And she had enough.

I realise you mean well, but an apology is not going to give her any sense of security that a line has been drawn under this.

She knows that even if you never mention THIS issue again, you may think it, worry about it, suspect it and have resentment about it. You just won't say anything, so she will know, even without any input from you to the contrary, that you won't believe her.

That's why she's avoiding you.

Because she doesn't trust you to be sincere.

 

Give her space, ok?

 

I am giving her space, im not attempting contact anymore. Ill think of other things/reflect on myself in the time being. As others have said the ball is in her court. So i should use the time alone to reevaluate myself.

[TexasMan68]

After reading your first post with the lack of correct punctuation and capitalization I hate you.

[justwhoiam]

How old are you both?

Have you ever met in real life?

[thomas123]

She ended up replying, unblocked me and forgave me. Things are back to normal now as far as communication goes. I now know what to not do so things should be good from now on.