Starting to feel depressed now

[Delcore]

Information: 16 year old high school male. Currently in junior year.

 

Hello,

 

For the past 7 weeks that school has been in session, I've had my eyes on a girl who happens to be in only 1 of my classes. Long story short, I got thrown into a class because I had an opening in my schedule. My assigned seat ended up being diagonal from where she sat so, getting to know her is a bit easier.

 

For the past 5 days, I've been chatting with her more frequently and really have felt like I made a connection. I've really been pushing myself out of my normal zone flirting with this girl and throwing on big boy panties; Hell, I even managed to get her to laugh, play some basic paper games with me, and get her to talk a little bit about herself. And since it's been going good between me and her for around a week now, I was feeling pretty good about myself these past few days.

 

Before class today, I heard during the announcements that it was the last day to apply for homecoming and, with that in mind, quickly thought up of a cute and creative way to ask her to the homecoming. After asking her was said and done, she told me quote for quote, "I'd love to, but I have a boyfriend". At that very moment, my heart sank inside and all I could squeeze out was an "Alrighty then". I mean, I'm sorry if this sounds naive but, I just honestly can't wrap my head around why she would of been so... receptive, so open, and so flirtatious if she already had a boyfriend.

 

With that said, do I still have a chance with this girl? Or am I doomed to be friend zoned like everyone else who gets this response. I'd hate to make a wrong move but, I just put forward so much courage today and felt like a dying flower afterwards.

[LostOnes05]

Hey man, it's the first of many. Kudos to you on being proactive (haha acne, teenagers...get it? nevermind) and actually asking her out. That was a big step, so don't feel down about it. Be proud of yourself, it takes confidence to do what you did. You'll learn that some women have stricter boundaries than others. Basically, you're friendzoned...no doubt about it. I'd move on, but consider actually being friends with her. She might have some cute friends that spark your interest. Good luck and don't feel down at all!

[Space Ritual]

You have NOTHING to feel bad about....You stepped out of your comfort zone, put your best foot forward, and although she stated she had a boyfriend, at the very least you have made an impression on her, and her response showed some initial interest. Just remember people that end up together sometimes started out as friends. So just take it slow, keep up the charm and good things will happen eventually. maybe not with this girl but certainly someone else.

 

She could have been a total member of the Tactical Women's Alert Team (a Sophomoric reference to Cheech and Chong's comedy albums, but hey, you're a Junior lol)but she wasn't. I think you have done well for yourself, young man. Remember you are so very young and even though this initially did not work out that is no reason to cease and desist.

 

You have the advantage that you are actually still in High School....you cannot even imagine amount of people that come to this forum that are in their 20's or 30's and have much less game than you do. Take this experience and build from it. And don't give up.

Edited September 26, 2015 by Space Ritual

[Darren Steez]

Dude this is nothing against you but look at it this way. You're basically accusing her of what? Being friendly with you? Talking to you? You saw her and you decided to go after her even though you didn't know her full story. So effectively you were being nice to her in order to get something back? And when she told you she had a boyfriend, did you end the conversation? Are you going to stop talking to her? In essence since you're not going to recieve what you preceived to be the reward (her going out with you on a romantic level) for your niceness, now you're going to stop?

 

Don't be a nice guy. And by nice guy I mean, someone who does stuff and expects a reward for doing that stuff.

 

Seems like this girl has been honest. So instead of taking it as a slight on yourself why not focus on the fact you were actually able to chat with her and get her to laugh etc..surely you can do this with other girls if you apply yourself.

 

Also keep talking to this girl, seems like she could be a cool friend. Nothing wrong with having girls as friends, and as someone said she may have friends she can hook you up with. But the main thing is to stop this niceness for reward thing. You'll come off as douchy if you stop talking to her because she was taken and she actually told you.

 

She didn't reject you she just has a boyfriend. Imagine that was your girl and some dude was hitting on her and she didn't mention she had a boyfriend..how would you feel?

 

Well done for getting out of your comfort zone. Keep doing it and you will get results, maybe not with this girl but there are many other girls out there..who are also single. Go for it!

[smackie9]

Next girl just ask if she has a BF. Clear simple communication would have prevented this.

 

Sorry but us ladies shouldn't have to be a cold bitch to every guy that chats with us to ward them off just in case they catch feelings. Dude this was on you. Tip: never invest your feelings unless you are going out with them.

[smackie9]

Remember, if she doesn't have a ring on her finger, she is fair game. You can't date her but you can still chat her up, and keep in contact with her. There could be potential down the road yes, BUT keep your options open and chat up other girls.

[Delcore]

@All of you who replied thus far,

 

Thanks for the uplifting comments and inspiration, it really does mean a lot.

 

Being an only child (something I forgot to mention) I've really found it hard all throughout my life to find somebody or something for intuition on how to flirt with others, especially due to the fact that my friends aren't the gamey type and my parents really don't show any interest. Often times, I find myself shuffling through the internet for hours reading guides for situations that similar to mine, just to find out that not every scenario is going to be the same.

 

I guess the hardest thing for me is that after putting so much after in this and going solo with no one other than myself, me getting turned down really made an impact. It's just so hard in high school to go solo without feeling weird if you're doing it without anyone's instructions/recommendations other than your own.

 

With that said, I notice that many of you have mentioned that it's always a good idea to do that 'ring check' to make sure that a captain hasn't claimed 'that ship'. However, in high school it's not so simple, and I really lack a way of bf checking without stating obvious, and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. So if someone could spread some light on that, I'd really appreciate that.

 

Lastly, I also see a lot of controversey over the internet with things on the internet called 'the friend zone'. Whether or not you think this exists, do any of you feel that the impression I made will make an effect if later on she breaks up, or do you folks feel that once I asked her, I'm just insta-friended and my chance are now down the drain. I'm not saying I'm going to obsess over this girl, but I don't know whether I should ignore her now to prevent myself from being friend zoned or if I should just keep on being kind and ignoring my previous intentions.

[Space Ritual]

Depends....

 

as I said before, you have really nothing to feel bad about. I know you may not feel like it, and you may feel like we may not understand where you are coming from, but all of us were in High School once, so we know exactly how you feel.

 

Again, use this as a learning experience and build from it. Yo have nowhere to go but UP!

 

Friend Zone is real, but don't let it get you down. Hey I'm almost Fifty One and have been friend zoned more times than I'd ever care to admit. Never got me down. All of us have at one point or another. It's just a part of the dance we do.

 

There is somebody out there who is just waiting for you to walk into their life, bet on it!!!

[Lovelypearl]

Sorry about that, I know how you feel. Heart break is not that easy to deal with. I've had mine broken once and now i've switched off my emotions. I don't feel anything for guys. I'm 16 just like you, I know i'm still young and i know i have life ahead of me. I'd advice you to pour your heart out to her and tell her how you feel about her. Also tell her that you don't expect her to reciprocate the feelings knowing that she already has a boyfriend but you just thought you should let her know the way you feel. Sometimes it's that we pour out our emotions in anyway we can other that storing it up in your heart. It's so painful, it kills.

[Jinx01]

Sorry about that, I know how you feel. Heart break is not that easy to deal with. I've had mine broken once and now i've switched off my emotions. I don't feel anything for guys. I'm 16 just like you, I know i'm still young and i know i have life ahead of me. I'd advice you to pour your heart out to her and tell her how you feel about her. Also tell her that you don't expect her to reciprocate the feelings knowing that she already has a boyfriend but you just thought you should let her know the way you feel. Sometimes it's that we pour out our emotions in anyway we can other that storing it up in your heart. It's so painful, it kills.

 

Do not take this advice! It would make you the weird guy who's way too into a girl that he's not dating.

 

Just look at the bright side,this girl obviously liked you at least a little, high school relationship seldom last that long, just look around for other girls and maybe in the mean time this one will break up with her boyfriend and you can have a chance to ask her out.