Feeling attracted to someone after a long time but I think she's keeping her distance

[Space_Fan]

Hello, everyone! I'm a 22 years old guy and I'm currently on college. I was on a long-term relationship for about 5 years but it ended a few months ago and, for the first time since the break-up, after rebuilding my confidence, I'm feeling attracted to someone.

 

She's my classmate in college and is 2 years younger than me. Last year, we got a bit closer because she was going through some stuff and I and a female friend of mine did something to cheer her up. However, I feel like she's keeping her distance from me (maybe she knows I like her). A friend of mine who is close to her says she doesn't like me right now and that she never will unless she gets to know me better, but it's kind of hard because I keep feeling she is keeping her distance from me and that makes me feel self-conscious. However, sometimes I'll catch her looking at me and there were a few times she did some jokes that made me feel there was a chance and that close friend we have in common actually says there's a chance she'll like me if she gets to know me better. I decided I want to get to know her better and for her to know me better, even if that means I'll fall in the friendzone. I'll probably regret it in the future if I don't try.

 

I can't "ask her out" right now because that's not something people usually do in our country when they don't know each other all that well. We do have some common interests, but I don't feel talking about them, which is usually the only thing we talk about, will help us get to know each other better. Does anyone have a suggestion on how I can let her know me better? Thank you in advance!

[preraph]

Her friend is giving you bad advice. If she doesn't have interest in you already, that's not going to change. You have to have the initial attraction. Find someone else to focus on. This is a waste of time.

[Space_Fan]

Her friend is giving you bad advice. If she doesn't have interest in you already, that's not going to change. You have to have the initial attraction. Find someone else to focus on. This is a waste of time.

 

Is that always true, though? I wasn't attracted to my ex when I met her and only about a year later, when I got to know her better, I started having feelings for her.

[oldshirt]

what country/culture are you from that you can't "ask out" people to get to know them better? Are you from a culture that practices arranged marriages?

 

 

Regardless of culture, race, place of origin, religion etc etc, women respond to men who step up to the plate, show initiative and aren't afraid to show their interest in them. Women are also universally UNinterested in men who show weakness and laziness and lack of effort.

 

 

My suggestion is approach her, strike up a conversation about whatever this common interest of yours is and then be upfront with her that you would like to spend some time with her and would like for you two to each get to know each other better.

 

 

If you don't want to call that "asking her out" that is fine. Call it something else, but accomplish the same thing regardless of what you want to call it.