Irishgirl71 Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Husband and I have been together for 12 years, 9 married. Second marriages for both of us. I have two boys from previous marriage 17 and 20 years old. I have depression, husband has anger issues. He left 3 weeks ago with the standard line of " I am not happy and not in love with you anymore" I am devastated. I miss him and love him and would like to work it out but he says no, he is done. A week prior to him telling me this he bought 1.5 acres of property behind us to add to our animal pasture. He was also sending me lovey text messages two weeks prior to him leaving. I'm really confused, we have text messaged and emailed each other back and forth, I have begged and pleaded to no avail. I did the no contact for a few days but he contacted me about getting our finances together. He says he feel awful and I should put myself in his shoes. Really? Is he crazy, I have to move with the youngest in his last year of high school right now. I hit a job last year at a dry cleaners for something to keep busy during the day. I don't make hardly anything. I have told him that I want this to work out but will continue to the house ready to put up for sale and look for a place to live and meet with attorneys. Yesterday he came over to cut the grass, I was at work, he didn't even say hello to my two boys. He is 12 years older than me and owns his own company. I am going crazy, sick to my stomach, can't concentrate on anything, I'm miserable. Does anyone have any advice or suggestions? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Is your depression being treated effectively and under control? If not, I'd make that job one, because everything else in your life, including the possibility of saving your marriage, depend on that. Secondly, stop begging, it won't work and will make you feel even worse while driving your husband farther away. Instead, Google for Willard Harley's website and try his suggestions for a distant and withdrawing spouse. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Secondly, stop begging, it won't work and will make you feel even worse while driving your husband farther away. Ugh. I have to repeat this for emphasis. Stop begging. That's about the most unattractive thing a woman can ever do. I hate to say it, but men rarely leave on their own. They do, but it's petty rare when they leave without having someone waiting for them. I don't understand why the hell he'd buy land a week before leaving. That just doesn't make sense to tie your money up in a piece of land when a week later, he's telling you he wants out - which means you'll be dissolving your assets in the next year, anyway. So that wasn't very smart. In either event, stop begging and pleasing. Please, just stop that. Find your pride and don't talk to him at all unless it's concerning the legal and/or financial matters that you both need to tend to. Stop being sucked into his dysfunction. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Irishgirl71 Posted September 27, 2015 Author Share Posted September 27, 2015 I am on anti depressants and just started therapy. He just doesn't want to give me the chance. He says he doesn't have any loving feelings or desire to be with me as a wife. He didn't get the attention that he needed from, he won't admit that there is someone else. Doesn't he realize it would make this much easier if there was someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
loveboid Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Keep working, keep taking care of yourself. Ensure that you get some sun every day, eat well, exercise. Let him go. Link to post Share on other sites
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