I moved out, was it my fault?

[Reallyconfusedheart]

Here is my story,

 

I've been with this man for 7 yrs+, 1.5 yrs living together, recently came back from another province. Since we came back, the relationship was just more like a friendship between the two of us. There was a lot of fights prior to that and simply decided to tone it down by not talking to each other to avoid confrontation. He comes and goes anytime whenever he wants without telling me and that hurts me, simply put - he ignores me. Since I know him, I have a feeling that he is seeing someone else. One time, I decided to try get close to him. He said to me, we are not together anymore and again ignored me. The relationship was like this for almost a month.

 

Since I cannot take it anymore, I decided to find a place although he wasn't kicking me out. The day I am about to leave, I did try to hug him for goodbye and it was very painful. That time, he showed me that he still cares for me. He started to promise things like marriage, kids and moving out together in another place and start a family. Because of that, I questioned my decision of leaving. Part of me knows that I still love him but he is hurting me too much at the same time. He really confused me. He made sure to tell me that it is my pride that broke the relationship and he bid me good luck afterwards. This is the fourth time that we separated for different reasons, the first 3, we got back together.

 

Now, I am alone in my own place and been thinking, what should have happened if I stayed? I still love him and I am lonely. Was it my fault? I feel like he moved on too quickly. What am I supposed to do?

 

Your inputs are appreciated. Take care.

Edited September 27, 2015 by Reallyconfusedheart

[Reallyconfusedheart]

I got the answer. Case is closed.