How many of you wished your ex hurt as much as they hurt you?

[ManyDissapoint]

No thanks Buddha I don't need your help on this one. It would be extremely satisfying to know that my ex was emotionally annihilated from someone who deceived her just like she did to me.

 

I could lie and say that it's because it's the only way she is going to grow. While true, I don't care if she grows any more. It's just a good thing in and of itself for me. Vindication requires no explanation.

[Meli22]

The best revenge anybody here can have is to live well. Nothing makes the souls of people who hurt you burn inside like them seeing you happy and doing well. To spend energy wanting to hurt them means you are thinking of them which actually makes them feel good in some sick way.

 

I agree with this. I don't wish ill will on my ex or unhappiness but I don't wish him to be happy either. That may sound real bitter but the way our relationship was and the way we broke up left me mentally scarred for a long time. So I don't wish anything for him. I have moments where I hope his conscience eats him alive (having a clear conscience in all aspects of life was a big deal to him) and I also hope that he realises how good he had it with me before he started wanting something better. Overall living well is the way forward. If he were to look at my social media over the last few months (which I know he has been, he followed me accidentally) then my life looks pretty rosy! It sort of is too

[angel85]

Princess, I don't think we can really compare ourselves to each others pain and weigh out which is worse. Mine didn't leave without an explanation, but trust me when I say that I hurt every single day, every second. There is not a second that goes by where she isn't on my mind, and I cannot get peace because when I think of her, it weighs heavy on my heart. It's like someone has placed a tank on my chest and I cannot do anything to get from under it. I cannot eat and I cannot sleep.

 

I am sure you hurt just as much, but it is no worse or better than my hurt. We're all different with different circumstances and it is very painful for each of us, just know you are not alone.

 

I am right there with you, wearing the same t-shirt

[lchf]

I did for a long time until I found out through the grapevine that her current bf recently died. Didn't make me feel too good to know that she was in that kind of pain.

[NVO]

My ex was hurt too. According from what she told me she cried her eyes out the days following our break-up and was this close to sending my a text message telling me she wants to get back together. She was on Tinder a week after our break-up (or maybe sooner and I did not notice), so our break-up wasn't about just being single because she was trying to fill that void immediately.

 

This, or she is even worse than I thought and it was all a bunch of lies haha. She started posting a lot on Facebook showing the world how great she was doing without me. In the meantime I did not notice her pain, because when I tried to talk to her she would grow more distant with the day. Well, she did tell me once that I'm not the only one that is having a hard time. Strange, almost seems like she is the one broken up with haha. Maybe I was a selfish prick and did not notice her pain? But on the other hand she said some nasty things.

 

But I do not wish her harm or anything, although I can relate to the idea that you want your ex to feel your pain. But funny thing is, when I met up for a lunch a couple of months later I was doing much better and when I asked her how she was doing she told me she's all right, got a lot on her mind, and sounded quite unhappy. Makes me wonder how she is doing right now. Guess I made some progress eh?

Edited September 28, 2015 by NVO

[Meli22]

My ex was hurt too. According from what she told me she cried her eyes out the days following our break-up and was this close to sending my a text message telling me she wants to get back together. She was on Tinder a week after our break-up (or maybe sooner and I did not notice), so our break-up wasn't about just being single because she was trying to fill that void immediately.

 

This, or she is even worse than I thought and it was all a bunch of lies haha. She started posting a lot on Facebook showing the world how great she was doing without me. In the meantime I did not notice her pain, because when I tried to talk to her she would grow more distant with the day. Well, she did tell me once that I'm not the only one that is having a hard time. Strange, almost seems like she is the one broken up with haha. Maybe I was a selfish prick and did not notice her pain? But on the other hand she said some nasty things.

 

But I do not wish her harm or anything, although I can relate to the idea that you want your ex to feel your pain. But funny thing is, when I met up for a lunch a couple of months later I was doing much better and when I asked her how she was doing she told me she's all right, got a lot on her mind, and sounded quite unhappy. Makes me wonder how she is doing right now. Guess I made some progress eh?

 

I don't understand people who break up because they want to be single and then be absolutely devastated over it. Makes no sense to me but you hear about it all the time.

[NVO]

I don't understand people who break up because they want to be single and then be absolutely devastated over it. Makes no sense to me but you hear about it all the time.

 

True. And they are so 'broken' that they break-up with you instead of trying to make the relationship work. Go figure...

[Draper]

I sometimes wish she did hurt the way I hurt, as that would at least mean she gave a ****.

 

I don't know. I'm sure it hurt her to hurt me, but nothing close to how she made me feel. I don't wish pain or misery on her for revenge but it would be nice for her to stand in my shoes and see things from my perspective for just one day, if nothing else.

[Satu]

Your feelings are generated in you, and by you.

 

Your ex has no means by which to make you feel anything.

 

Your feelings are a product of your psyche - both conscious, and unconscious, and your bodies nervous and enocrine systems.

 

This is good news, because you can change the way you feel, if you want to.

 

Rather than wishing hurt on your ex, you can concentrate on healing your own hurt inside you, where it was born.

 

 

Take care.

[Toodaloo]

I have never wished harm on my exes let alone the hurt and pain they have caused me. The last one I just couldn't muster up the energy to wish him dead... I just can't be bothered to care. I have better things to worry about.

 

I did learn a very important lesson earlier this year though. It touches on Satus comments.

 

Bitterness, hate, clinging to lost love... all of that... the only person you end up hurting is yourself.

 

Best to take your time and learn to just let it go so it means nothing any more. They just become someone you once knew. No feelings what so ever. Accept it for what it is. Walk away and take the time to grow and develop into someone more than you were before.

 

Then while you walk past and see then as just someone you used to know, they walk past and are the ones torturing themselves that they made a mistake. I know that after over 10 years of splitting up with the older guy who broke my heart that as soon as I had the courage to let go and accept it for what it was he started looking at me differently. Now instead of getting the flutters and the upset as I drive past or when I see him I just smile and wave. His expression has changed since I accepted it. He seems a much "smaller" man these days. Pitiful in many ways and he has done it all to himself with no help from me.

 

You don't need to hurt others. They do that perfectly well to themselves. But you do need to look after yourself.

 

It is also important to note here that I am still great friends with many of my exes. There are not many that I do not still speak to in some capacity. So actually to wish them harm would also be to harm myself because I would hurt if they were.

[erklat]

I know I do. This is the first time I wished she hurt as much as I am hurting, and normally I am not a spiteful person, but I suppose people change when they come into your life and hurt you? I don't know. Anyway, how many of you wish your ex hurt as much as they hurt you?

 

I wish that upon her every day. That is not spite. She considers it normal human interaction, so I consider

it too.

[Samuel_22]

I have, and I regret it, as time passes by you learn to forgive and forget instead of hating and forget, sooner or later they will face their bad karma, you don't make your hands dirty, I regret it because, the man for whom my ex left me, dumped her again... and I feel bad because I think this is what I wished for....forgive and forget... this is a shortcut to healing

[Hell Yeah]

i don't wish any hurt towards my ex, shes had enough of that from the past to last her a life time

 

I just wish for a sincere apology in relation of her words and actions towards me that were just unacceptable in terms of respect

 

None of us like breaking up on either end

 

But ones words and actions can be horrific and very damaging towards the other partner, when your displaying complete lack of empathy and simple respect

 

My ex said 'sorry' in a bland mono tone before i left, but she couldn't even look me in the eye and say it the sincerity behind it was fake, while i stood there angered, heartbroken and holding my broken pieces together to not cause a scene as her kids were in bed and those 2 kids have seen enough hostility and drama from their 'father'

 

I don't remember driving home at all which was dangerous, and its quite a journey and was very late at night (1 hour journey took me 4hrs according to my clock) i didn't even get a message or anything from my ex of concern to be safe getting home. I didn't hear from her until a week later when i contacted her

 

That lack of compassion and selfish/coldness hurt more than anything, it just showed she just didn't care at all towards my well being

 

I want to wish her hurt to feel like i do but i cannot, i wouldn't love her if i did

[Meli22]

i don't wish any hurt towards my ex, shes had enough of that from the past to last her a life time

 

I just wish for a sincere apology in relation of her words and actions towards me that were just unacceptable in terms of respect

 

None of us like breaking up on either end

 

But ones words and actions can be horrific and very damaging towards the other partner, when your displaying complete lack of empathy and simple respect

 

My ex said 'sorry' in a bland mono tone before i left, but she couldn't even look me in the eye and say it the sincerity behind it was fake, while i stood there angered, heartbroken and holding my broken pieces together to not cause a scene as her kids were in bed and those 2 kids have seen enough hostility and drama from their 'father'

 

I don't remember driving home at all which was dangerous, and its quite a journey and was very late at night (1 hour journey took me 4hrs according to my clock) i didn't even get a message or anything from my ex of concern to be safe getting home. I didn't hear from her until a week later when i contacted her

 

That lack of compassion and selfish/coldness hurt more than anything, it just showed she just didn't care at all towards my well being

 

I want to wish her hurt to feel like i do but i cannot, i wouldn't love her if i did

 

Maybe I don't love my ex anymore.. Because the thought of him feeling hurt over a relationship (ours or with someone else) does not make me feel bad at all. Of course I wouldn't wish anything bad on him, but the thought of him feeling the pain that I did.. Really wouldn't hurt me at all. Whereas when we first broke up, the thought of him hurting killed me.

[Hell Yeah]

Maybe I don't love my ex anymore.. Because the thought of him feeling hurt over a relationship (ours or with someone else) does not make me feel bad at all. Of course I wouldn't wish anything bad on him, but the thought of him feeling the pain that I did.. Really wouldn't hurt me at all. Whereas when we first broke up, the thought of him hurting killed me.

 

Than you are in a good place my friend to acknowledge that. I look forward to feeling like that one day where i hold no emotional attachment at all to the other person

 

Though you showed empathy afterwards which is better than some people walking the earth........

[Oregon_Dude]

I think my ex has enough problems as it is. She already doesn't like herself, which I can't relate to. I hope she finds her happiness.

[Meli22]

Than you are in a good place my friend to acknowledge that. I look forward to feeling like that one day where i hold no emotional attachment at all to the other person

 

Though you showed empathy afterwards which is better than some people walking the earth........

 

I think there are some feelings there. But not positive. I don't like his qualities anymore whereas I used to love them and think he was perfect.

[theredpill]

Every relationship is a gift, enjoy the experience move on, life is short and YOU cause your own pain, get those emotions in check.

 

 

I'll repeat, life is short...

[Niko 2021]

Not I; my ex destroyed me. (give my post a read, happened a year ago, totally over it) But the relationship ended about 10 times worse than how I ever imagined it would end. No one needs to be cheated on, lied to for over a year, while being emotionally abusive and manipulative. I would not wish that on my worst enemy.

[Cora]

No, this hurts too much. I could never wish this pain upon my worst enemy. Instead I just pray for him. I pray he will never fall in love with someone who will leave him like he left me. I pray that I can forgive him a little more each and everyday. I really did/still do love him and only want him to be happy. So I pray for that too. Oddly, it makes me feel a little better. It hurts less to not harbor hate for him.

 

Because really if I wished the same pain upon him, wouldn't that make me no better than him?

[QueenDeath]

Break up story here -http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/544455-how-deal-break-up

 

My ex wanted to go on a break and that **** was the worst for me. The agony wasn't fun at all. Like I told a close friend last night, it was terrible. I had nonstop thoughts of what if he finds some over this break, what if I found someone over this break, what if my feelings for him change over the break, what if his feelings change over the break? just nonstop questions, it was a living nightmare. The mental pain was unreal and just terrible.

 

While I know I was texting him repeatedly over the break, I know I shouldn't, however I just couldn't deal with the pain I was going through. I am not trying to be dramatic when I say it was a living nightmare. I even take responsibility for the things I did, however, I don't think he took any responsibility at all. Say whatever you want to say, however, I do think in a breakup, both parties are at fault and I wished he took some blame like I did and man up for it.

 

Another thing is that he says how he understood how I felt over the break, however, I don't think he understood at all, even during the relationship itself, I don't think he put himself in my shoes at all and that caused me to question things a lot to myself. So yes, I do hope and have thoughts in my head of him feeling the way I did just so he can finally truly understand how I felt during the breakup, I do hope he goes through that agony I went through and having the whole blame of the breakup on you. Like I said, wished he would man up and take some damn responsibility.

[metaversus]

I got revenge on my ex and it felt/feels very satisfying and liberating. He deserved it it's done and I feel like I can work on healing myself now. I miss him and still cry every day but I feel satisfied he didn't get away with it. Must sleep now and I will elaborate later today.

[Meli22]

I got revenge on my ex and it felt/feels very satisfying and liberating. He deserved it it's done and I feel like I can work on healing myself now. I miss him and still cry every day but I feel satisfied he didn't get away with it. Must sleep now and I will elaborate later today.

 

I look forward to details on this!

[Apparition]

I think a lot of you misunderstood my post. I do not want "revenge" or to bring harm to my ex. My question was about wishing they'd hurt over the break-up between you both, nothing else, perhaps I worded it wrong. But, it was interesting to read your comments and I'm glad some of you misunderstood otherwise I wouldn't have received different answers from each of you.

 

I am not a revengeful person, and I would never wish harm upon any of my ex's, most of all my recent one. The only thing I do wish is that she hurt as much as I do over our break-up. That way I would know she cared. It's bitter sweet. One of you commented on how we cause our own hurt, and I completely disagree with this because although human beings are completely capable of hurting ourselves, this damage was caused by someone we trusted, loved, and bared our soul to. We stripped ourselves of our protective walls, lay there naked to trust this person with our heart and we gave it to them trusting they would never bring harm to it. However, they did. This pain was not inflicted upon our own actions, it was because of these people. We did not ask for this, so I completely disagree with "we hurt ourselves" - we absolutely do not just because we want to be loved - complete opposite of hurt.

 

metaversus, what revenge did you get on him? And why?

[Meli22]

I think a lot of you misunderstood my post. I do not want "revenge" or to bring harm to my ex. My question was about wishing they'd hurt over the break-up between you both, nothing else, perhaps I worded it wrong. But, it was interesting to read your comments and I'm glad some of you misunderstood otherwise I wouldn't have received different answers from each of you.

 

I am not a revengeful person, and I would never wish harm upon any of my ex's, most of all my recent one. The only thing I do wish is that she hurt as much as I do over our break-up. That way I would know she cared. It's bitter sweet. One of you commented on how we cause our own hurt, and I completely disagree with this because although human beings are completely capable of hurting ourselves, this damage was caused by someone we trusted, loved, and bared our soul to. We stripped ourselves of our protective walls, lay there naked to trust this person with our heart and we gave it to them trusting they would never bring harm to it. However, they did. This pain was not inflicted upon our own actions, it was because of these people. We did not ask for this, so I completely disagree with "we hurt ourselves" - we absolutely do not just because we want to be loved - complete opposite of hurt.

 

metaversus, what revenge did you get on him? And why?

 

In that case, yes I have wished that.