Author impatiently_patient Posted October 26, 2015 Author Share Posted October 26, 2015 lol clownhouse!!! idk man... I really don't. OLD is just not my thing. It took me years before I even put a few pics of myself on fb. I might consider some kind of action shot. Like something that shows a character trait that you like about yourself. Maybe sitting in a car, or holding a book, or playing a video game, that kind of thing. I've got one that was taken of me playing guitar live with my last band a few years back. You'd think the ladies would be all about that, but no. ¯\(°_o)/¯ Oh blech, that guy Tanner is gross. He's not attractive physically or mentally. His physical shortcomings could be overcome (for me) if he had a decent personality and values though Agree completely. If he wasn't such a blowhole, he'd be passable. I just don't understand his runaway success, and my complete failings at it. I'd take 25% of his success rate. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 I've got one that was taken of me playing guitar live with my last band a few years back. You'd think the ladies would be all about that, but no. ¯\(°_o)/¯ Hmm... I think that's a good idea. There should definitely be ladies interested. Musicians get extra points by default. Were you without a shirt in that pic? Did you have a mic in front of you? If no, I would try something more sexy. Maybe playing your guitar on your bed. And that one b&w + sideways! (jk) Link to post Share on other sites
Author impatiently_patient Posted October 27, 2015 Author Share Posted October 27, 2015 (edited) Hmm... I think that's a good idea. There should definitely be ladies interested. Musicians get extra points by default. Were you without a shirt in that pic? Did you have a mic in front of you? If no, I would try something more sexy. Maybe playing your guitar on your bed. No mic. Lead guitar, not lead singer. We did some backup vocals for a few shows, but it wasn't worth having the mics in the way (especially on small stages). Damage control. And, yes, I wore shirts on stage. ;:-/ I've got a dozen or so pics focused mainly on me from a couple of shows we had photographers at. I don't know which ones are best, but they're all action shots. Guitar on my bed? Wouldn't that insinuate I don't have a separate room for my amps? Like I was living with my parents? LOL. I have a dedicated studio room. Edited October 27, 2015 by impatiently_patient Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 Guitar on my bed? Wouldn't that insinuate I don't have a separate room for my amps? Like I was living with my parents? LOL. I have a dedicated studio room. lol woh... No, I'm pretty sure that would insinuate that you play guitar and you have a bed. Or have a guitar in your bedroom. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 I've got one that was taken of me playing guitar live with my last band a few years back. You'd think the ladies would be all about that, but no. ¯\(°_o)/¯ It's the biggest myth in the world that women like musicians. In reality, being a musician earns you a few extra points IF you are playing in a popular/status/sexy band. I don't even know what that would be these days, probably some Hipsterish band that plays in Oakland, CA. But it can't make you attractive. If you're unattractive, then it doesn't matter if you play in the coolest band (unless you're filthy rich). If you're average, then it might give you points over the next d@uchebag who is average and doesn't play guitar, but it'll still be tough. And if you actually have skill like a Steve Vai or Joe Pass or Segovia playing a non-popular type of music, it's pretty much worthless. Link to post Share on other sites
Author impatiently_patient Posted October 28, 2015 Author Share Posted October 28, 2015 lol woh... No, I'm pretty sure that would insinuate that you play guitar and you have a bed. Or have a guitar in your bedroom. I'll stick to playing guitar in my studio where I can actually plug it in and sit comfortably. It's the biggest myth in the world that women like musicians. In reality, being a musician earns you a few extra points IF you are playing in a popular/status/sexy band. I don't even know what that would be these days, probably some Hipsterish band that plays in Oakland, CA. But it can't make you attractive. If you're unattractive, then it doesn't matter if you play in the coolest band (unless you're filthy rich). If you're average, then it might give you points over the next d@uchebag who is average and doesn't play guitar, but it'll still be tough. And if you actually have skill like a Steve Vai or Joe Pass or Segovia playing a non-popular type of music, it's pretty much worthless. Well, aren't you an optimistic beacon. I guess you don't exist: Any woman who has a proclivity or appreciation towards the arts, music, theater, or otherwise. I suppose any guy with athletic inclination has no value unless he's pulling ten mil for a pro team either. No chef that's not working at French Laundry. No comic that doesn't have a Comedy Central special... Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 It's the biggest myth in the world that women like musicians. In reality, being a musician earns you a few extra points IF you are playing in a popular/status/sexy band. I don't even know what that would be these days, probably some Hipsterish band that plays in Oakland, CA. But it can't make you attractive. If you're unattractive, then it doesn't matter if you play in the coolest band (unless you're filthy rich). If you're average, then it might give you points over the next d@uchebag who is average and doesn't play guitar, but it'll still be tough. And if you actually have skill like a Steve Vai or Joe Pass or Segovia playing a non-popular type of music, it's pretty much worthless. lol wow... this is NOT the kind of woman musicians are looking for.^^ And it's not the biggest myth at all. Bigfoot is. Seriously, it's not a myth. Artists are attracted to other artists. Unless they are intimidated by their skill, in which case, they are very attracted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 lol wow... this is NOT the kind of woman musicians are looking for.^^ And it's not the biggest myth at all. Bigfoot is. Seriously, it's not a myth. Artists are attracted to other artists. Unless they are intimidated by their skill, in which case, they are very attracted. No yea that's true. I should have said that. I'm a musician and I know a lot of pro musicians because I've taken lessons for 2 decades. If a woman is a passionate (starving) musician, then she will be more likely to marry a guy who is the same. However, playing the guitar will not make women swoon. I don't know where that came from. Probably Fender and Gibson created it to sell guitars. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 As for the OP: I guess I'm the only one who's a bit dumbfounded. Mind you it's all subjective but THESE are the two most popular Ok Cupid members? I mean, the woman is reasonably cute (not jaw dropping, though) and the guy... ummm... okay, I'm going to play the straight card here and prompt the peanut gallery: Is this guy what women get all hot and bothered over? Really?! I guess I'm just missing something. I was averaging less than one date a year from online dating... but I've had zero dates not from online dating in about eight years now. I don't mind the idea that it's superficial (attraction is a gate you've got to get through), but why aren't any women superficial for me? I guess If only I was sexy like that guy, LOL. If that is you in the picture you are really goodlooking. Far better looking than the guy in the video. Link to post Share on other sites
Author impatiently_patient Posted October 28, 2015 Author Share Posted October 28, 2015 I'm a musician and I know a lot of pro musicians because I've taken lessons for 2 decades. If a woman is a passionate (starving) musician, then she will be more likely to marry a guy who is the same. Except I'm not starving. I make $80k+ as a creative in another area: I'm an industrial designer. Probably Fender and Gibson created it to sell guitars. I'm an Ibanez man myself. If that is you in the picture you are really goodlooking. Far better looking than the guy in the video. Awww, thanks. I wish more people thought that way. Like I said, I'd be elated to a quarter of the success rate that guy gets. At this point, I'd be happy to get one date this year. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Awww, thanks. I wish more people thought that way. Like I said, I'd be elated to a quarter of the success rate that guy gets. At this point, I'd be happy to get one date this year. But that guy doesn't even seem to be looking for romance. I thought he was just after flings. I went along with the pic bit while it was amusing, but you can't seriously be thinking that pics is all you have to change, can you? I would imagine, and I have to use that word, because I don't do OLD, that you would need to try changing your profile description and the way you are speaking to girls. But even with that, I wouldn't be able to deal with OLD. It is just too distant and vague. I would not be able to use all the tools at my disposal and would get frustrated - tools being body language and real-time talking. What is wrong with meeting people irl..? Especially if you have the monetary means to go out, and can put yourself in environments of performance venues... When you're on a stage, you can't ask for much more attention than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author impatiently_patient Posted October 29, 2015 Author Share Posted October 29, 2015 (edited) But that guy doesn't even seem to be looking for romance. I thought he was just after flings. Who said I was [just] after romance? Internet forums: Masters of assumptions - Instance I. For sure, I'm at a place in my life where I really want to meet Ms. Right, but that doesn't make me one-dimensional. True, I've been on only one date in the last two years, but I've had some sex. I like having a sex life too... a lot. Know that. My ex hit me up during her own dry spell about eight months ago and we had an FWB thing going on for a solid three or four months before she found someone she was interested in and put the kibosh on it (sensibly). That said, I've certainly not been looking for "flings". ONS sex is generally rather underwhelming and mediocre (I don't get the appeal, really). Toolbag can enjoy his STI when he gets it. But, I've always been open to a more conjugal arrangement with with someone that I can get to know. It's far from perfect (especially at this stage of life), but it's a nice interim plan. Call it pragmatism. And I've made attempts at putting myself out there for things outside the confines of commitment, and it doesn't exactly bring the proverbial cows back to the farm. Insofar as I can tell, women want relationships for the most part. What is wrong with meeting people irl..? Especially if you have the monetary means to go out, and can put yourself in environments of performance venues...Again, who said I was averted to meeting anyone out in the fray? Internet forums: Masters of assumptions - Instance II. I'm fine with it. More than fine with it. I'd prefer it, IF it was the least bit reliable. Fact is, I'm not encountering any interested, let alone single, women out there. I get out quite a bit... like you said, the money affords... but between my work, my hobbies, my friends' social goings on, and even dabbling in more contrived things like MeetUps and whatnot: There literally isn't anybody. Hence online dating. What can I say? Seems like what everyone does is 2015. ¯\(°_o)/¯ Edited October 29, 2015 by impatiently_patient Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I apologize for making wrong assumptions. I dislike that in other people so I will try to hold back on that. But I am having trouble finding out your goal here. The fudge do you mean by "conjugal arrangement?" - or better yet, just say what you are looking for, plainly. Because I thought you were after a serious relationship. "Again, who said I was averted to meeting anyone out in the fray?" Ok here, this is not an assumption. I was just asking what the issue with that was. "between my work, my hobbies, my friends' social goings on, and even dabbling in more contrived things like MeetUps and whatnot: There literally isn't anybody." Something's wrong there. It's in and between all of those things that you meet women. Plus sometimes having a boyfriend just takes more effort, but that's another topic. Certainly not what I do in 2015. ¯\(°_o)/¯¯\(°_o)/¯¯\(°_o)/¯ Link to post Share on other sites
Author impatiently_patient Posted October 30, 2015 Author Share Posted October 30, 2015 I apologize for making wrong assumptions. I dislike that in other people so I will try to hold back on that. But I am having trouble finding out your goal here. The fudge do you mean by "conjugal arrangement?" - or better yet, just say what you are looking for, plainly. Because I thought you were after a serious relationship. The conjugal thing was a metaphorical funny. If you don't know what a conjugal visit is, you won't get it. I just mean a friends with benefits scenero. And, I'm fine with either. I'm looking for a relationship, that's plainly spelled out in my profile settings. That said, long stints of looking for the right one isn't particularly fulfilling in the carnal department... and since many seem to purport, "People are just looking for sex." (particularly on Tinder or POF), I've tried that as an option in the past. Doesn't seem to be the case, though. Either way, most sites make you pick only one thing you're seeking, so I go with long term relationships because that's the important goal for me. "Again, who said I was averted to meeting anyone out in the fray?" Ok here, this is not an assumption. I was just asking what the issue with that was. Issue is I'm not meeting single, interested women, simple as that. I even quit online dating for about six months due to my utter frustration with it. But alas, I've gone on a sum total four dates in the last five plus yeare, and 100% of them came from online dating, and zero from my offline goings on. The only women who've had any interest in me offline have fallen into the WAY too young category. Been there, done that, she was 23, it didn't work for me. "between my work, my hobbies, my friends' social goings on, and even dabbling in more contrived things like MeetUps and whatnot: There literally isn't anybody." Something's wrong there. It's in and between all of those things that you meet women. Not in my experience. I've even gone through the somewhat embarrassing task of polling my friends about their respective social circles for any eligible ladies. My friend Christina (wife of my last band's drummer who lives here in Phoenix) even says I'm a great catch who should have someone but she doesn't know anyone. Certainly not what I do in 2015. Well, I won't be dating you, will I? Link to post Share on other sites
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