Over protective parents

[Caskette]

Here's the thing My family loves me too much, I come from a country where one has over protective parents, so I've been coddled my entire life and I should definitely count my blessings for they love me too much, I got my first car the day I got my driver's license I've never had to worry about financial issues and they never kept tabs on how and where I am spending money and they always made sure I had enough funds in my back account, but they can be really annoying at times. I'm 21 and still treated like a kid, it feels like they're smothering me, I mean I can go where ever I want but I need to tell them where I am and be back by a certain time. I can't party till late night like all my friends. And when I asked them about taking up a job, dad said he'd be comfortable if I joined family business or do something of my own where he can make sure I'm safe. He's too protective, he doesn't want me to leave the city we live in for whatever reason. I've never been on a trip with my friends alone because my dad thinks it won't be safe. But he makes sure that I'm happy and whenever I'm sad he brings the world upside down to make me happy, and all this just stops me from rebelling or fighting because at the end of the day, all he is doing is just to keep me safe and protected. I want to do my masters from another country, I want to experience how to live alone and become independent.but he's absolutely against it, how can I achieve this without hurting his feelings?

Edited September 28, 2015 by Caskette

[d0nnivain]

Make the business case for the school where you want to go. Show him the crime rates & how you will make yourself safe. Show him the placement rates for job prospects. Explain how you will pay for this degree without his financial input. In short have a plan. Act like an adult & you will be treated like an adult.

[turnera]

I'd get a job somewhere else, and let them see you coming and going safely. Let them see you making good decisions. Start going out with friends more, even start staying over at a friend's house, so they can see you doing 'grownup' things and nothing happens to you. The more instances, the more the fear will abate. Eventually, you can start looking at a place of your own.

[m.snow]

I'm 21 and still treated like a kid, it feels like they're smothering me, I mean I can go where ever I want but I need to tell them where I am and be back by a certain time. I can't party till late night like all my friends.

 

and that sounds a bit immature. you have to show maturity. and wanting partying late all night is not a good sign.

[SpiralOut]

At some point you need to do what makes you happy, otherwise you'll come to resent your family. Apply for the type of job that you want, and if you want to go to school elsewhere, apply to the schools you want. Don't say anything to your family until/unless you have been accepted. Then, you tell them how it is. "Dad, I've been hired at this job. I know that you wanted me to stay with the family business, but this is what will make me happy, so I hope that you can be happy for me." Get your own place as soon as you are able to. You have to live by your parents rules while you are living in their house, so if you want to stay out later with your friends you'll need to get your own place. Get a roommate if that helps.

Edited September 30, 2015 by SpiralOut

[h57zf]

My dad's kind of the same way. The best thing to do is keep my distance, but once in a while he comes over.

 

He'll go through my stuff, correct things that I've written out on paper with red pens, look though my work and give me his opinion. Despite the fact that I've done what I'm doing for many years and have a pretty good feel for it, he still feels that he knows my work better than I do.