how long did it take ?

[Firstheartbreaksux]

I'm at about 6 weeks NC and today it hurts just as bad as the day it hit that she just doesn't care anymore. I have met a few different girls, but they are not her. Some days I barley even think about my ex, and others my heart breaks all over again. I don't even want her back, I just want for this to have never happens and life to be how it should've been. I guess what I'm wondering is how long did it take for these waves of heartbreak to stop after losing the person you thought was the love of your life ?

 

I've been doing what I need to, working out, hanging out with friends and trying to meet new girls. I have met a few ladies, flirted, even slept with someone. But it was just for ego and for her not to be the last person I've been with. I'm not one for random hook ups, I guess I'm just trying to fill a void but its all so dry. This is the first time in my life where I haven't had anyone I'm "talking" to and I'm 25. Ive never really considered myself codependent but I might be. I miss someones schedule revolving around me and vice versa, the companionship, the always having someone to be talking to.

 

I know I have to learn how to be alone and ok. I just needed to vent today. It hurts really bad today.

[Satu]

Stop getting together with other girls. It's far too early, and won't help.

 

Attempts to fill the void from outside don't work.

 

Pay attention to your feelings. Write them down. Keep posting.

 

Do your grieving, cry your tears, and learn to love yourself.

 

 

You'll be ok, but it takes time, and nobody knows how long it takes.

[Firstheartbreaksux]

Thank you for your words satu.

 

I know these girls won't help, but I feel like if she's stopping me from seeing other women, then im still holding some loyalty towards her because I know she's back out there having the time of her life. They take everything, time, songs, places you can go, self esteem, they take everything from you and they do it with a smile. I know I'm just trying to put a band aid on an amputated limb.

[start8957]

Stop seeing and sleeping with other people until you are ready. Right now, it seems like you are doing it because of her. Because you don't want to feel like she has a hold on you, you don't want her to be the last girl you were with, and you don't want her to be out there having a "great" time while you are still recovering.

Every time you do something in spite of her, it will just remind you of her and you won't be able to live your OWN life. It'll just take longer to move on.

 

Do things you want to do, don't force anything. Talk to other other people when you want to, not because she is out doing the same thing and you think you should too. Take the time to recover and get to the point in your life when you are finally happy with yourself and being by yourself. It'll happen.