Why do i still care?

[Bubbles]

Well, where do i begin? Brad was the most amazing guy i've ever known. We got together at the start of 99, and it was pure sunshine. I fell in love with everything about him. Then at the beginning of last year things started going wrong. He didn't call me as often as he used to, stopped telling me he loved me, and didn't seem to want to be with me anymore. Yet, sometimes he'd say things that made me think he thought it was the other way around. We started fighting about things, from the fact that he cheated on me and was giving his friends detailed decriptions of our sex life to he thought i was saying ##### about him behind his back (i wasn't.) We broke up, a couple of weekes before my b'day. I was devestated. He was my frst, so it's always hard to let go. My father almost died a week after that, and he didn't call. Again, he didn't call on my b'day so i assumed there was no chance for us. However, he dedcided he wanted me back. I wasn't going to put myself back into a relationship i wasn't happy with, so i said no. Looking back, that was the worst thing i could've done. I realised how much i still loved him, and after awhile i told him. I was surprised by his reaction, because he welcomed me back with open arms. This time i was determinded it would work. However, it wasn't to be. A month later he broke up with me for no apparent reason, and started treating me like crap. It was like he wanted to pay me back or something. However, i think that his friends might have influenced his decision because they really don't like me. Now he has a new girlfriend and i hate it. I can't bear seeing them together, and i wish it was me. It's been 6 mths since we broke up, and no matter how hard i try i can't move on. I love him, but he just laughs at me and teases me, even though i have given him no indication that i still want him. I hardley ever even see him anymore, and it breaks my heart. How can i just stop loving someone who i cared more about than the rest of the world?

[Tony T]

There has got to be a good reason you love somebody who in the past stopped calling you as often, stopped telling you he loved you, didn't seem to want to be with you anymore and, most recently, got back with you for a month only to give you the boot, breaking up with you for no apparent reason and treating you like crap. And why would you delight in a guy who listens to the opinions of his goofy friends and lives his life according to their whims instead of his own desires? Sounds like a wimp to me. All this comes from your post above.

 

That doesn't sound like a guy most women would really want to be in their lives unless they had extremely low self esteem. Now sometimes we get stuck in the good part, the beginning of the relationship, when everything was wonderful and just think that part should magically reappear. Sometimes we just don't want to think it's over.

 

But the reality is that this guy has been a complete and total jerk to you. If you value the love you have to give so little that you would continue to bestow it on such a creep, do you think other guys are going to feel special if you give them the same stuff?

 

I hope you will reconsider loving such a jerk and heal from this. The guy is a scumbag.

 

There is a good reason why you would be stuck on a worthless bum. And why would you feel so bad seeing him with another girl he will eventually screw over as well?

 

There are many compelling reasons why you need to work on ceasing your obsession with this sleezebrain and get on with your life. He has.

 

I know it hurts a lot. I've been there. But looking back, I wasted so much time being depressed when I could have engaged in far more worthwhile things.

[sparkle]

Bubbles,

 

I totally agree with Tony.

 

This guy is a JERK!

 

You asked, "How can i just stop loving someone who i cared more about than the rest of the world?"

 

The only way you can begin to do this is to get them off of your mind. And that won't happen unless you get them out of your present life!

 

You stated, "I can't bear seeing them together, and i wish it was me. It's been 6 mths since we broke up, and no matter how hard i try i can't move on. I love him, but he just laughs at me and teases me, even though i have given him no indication that i still want him."

 

Do you both go to the same school or what? Still talking to him or hanging out with him is NOT going to help you get over him. Write him off completely. Don't talk to him anymore. Ignore him totally and don't give him the satisfaction of thinking that he still has an effect on you.

 

The only way you can get him out of your heart is if you actually make an effort to by kicking him out of your life for good.