Working with the ex - pain keeps coming back

[BklynGuy]

I loved my ex even though we only had a short time together. We got close fast, too fast. She'd get close to me then start pulling away. Did it 2x. I put her before EVERYTHING. Shes 21 & I'm 25. I dont know why I did this for this girl. I havent done it for any other gf Ive had. Anyway, she had another guy & me. Told me she was gonna leave him but never did. She was sleeping with him but they had a bad relationship. I got really tired of her sleeping with him & it kind of ruined our relationship, on top of many other stupid things she did. I tried to talk to her for 2 months about our problems but she wouldnt face them. I finally had to end it but I didnt want to. I wanted to be with her more than anything in the world but she kept messing up. We broke up in April and I still see her at work. I try to sit in places where I can avoid seeing her or any of her friends. Then she comes up to me on Sunday to say hi and talk. She changed her hairstyle and a few things. Then she asked me to come sit by her and showed me some naked pics of herself. Why would she do that? I know shes dating someone else. Talking to her just made me hit the pits again. I cant sleep. Im up all night thinking of her and how shes gone. I need to leave my job because I get depressed every weekend & I know she doesnt care that we broke up. She said to me you have to be like "f*** it...NEXT" I was like what a messed up thing to say. She never cared for me like I did for her. She was always like whatever with me...maybe cuz Im older I took it more seriously....cuz I didnt want to waste my time or emotions. How do I move on when every weekend Im around her and everything around my job reminds me of her and us? It had to end because it went really bad between us. She was just on a different level...childish and immature and not serious about being with one person. She cheated on the guy she lives with, Im sure she messed around on me besides being with him. Gosh, how did I get myself into this situation? I usually never would but I felt something different for this one. I put so much energy into her. I screwed up in college, ran up my credit and many other things to be with her...but she just wasnt there. I hate her now for leaving me but I always felt torn...like I shouldnt be with her cuz she had someone else. It always felt wrong to me. I couldnt be romantic or give her flowers becuz she had him. I think she loved him. I took a loan to help her move out like she said she wanted to...but she didnt go for it. Now she says "it was never gonna work out with us.." I only stuck with her so I could be with just her one day. Thats never going to happen now. How do I heal?

[greenhorn]

Too much complexities here,

 

First thing you were not officially dating her cause all the time she was not exclusive to her,so this isn't a relationship break up per se.It was just a bad adventure of yours or hers whatever ? So you should console yourself that ' what has ended now had never begun'.

 

Second stop any further contact with her, I think this girl is screwed in her brain, she herself does not know what she wants and with whom she wants that. Stop contact with her, if she comes to you then make it clear in no uncertain terms that you are not iterested in having any sort of contact with her. If she still persists then you are free to ignore her, even if that sounds rude to you.

 

Try to regain your mental composure, find the difference between love and lust, attraction and infatuation, and commitment and obsession.

 

A girl who cheat others is bound to cheat you too, so get out of her loop as fast as possible.

 

And your posts would be more readable if you can please put some paragraphs there, but doesn't matter if you didn't put that in the first post.

[Merin]

Well I've got to say the ONLY Favour she's done for you is in giving you the advice (regarding her)

F'ck it, NEEXXXTTT!

 

She sounds like a real piece of work.

 

She cheats, Lies, and uses people for her own benefit and worse has zero shame for the things she does.

 

This wasn't a relationship as much as it was a Fling.. she was with someone else, cheating and lying to him and using both of you for her own personal gain.

 

Honestly I would'a taken the freakin wind out of her sails when she wanted to show you naked photos of herself in being like *Yawn* been there, seen that.. not interested!

 

If you really want to feel better here STOP giving her the attention she's looking for. Don't take an interest in anything she has to say.. my guess is the more aloof and uninterested you behave around this Girl the more she will want and seek your attention (she's an attention whore)

 

You can do better than this!