please...need advice from both men and women!!

[Eve]

Help! I'm having a big issue with my boyfriend and I really would like the opinion and feedback of other people.

 

The thing is, he looks at a lot of porn on the net...mostly lesbian stuff. The porn itself isn't so much an issue, it's the consequences of it. When we're in bed he treats me like a porn star...it seems to be the only way I can make myself sexy in his eyes. The only way I can turn him on is to either act like one or tell him lesbian stories...nothing else I do is enough.

 

I know what many of you will say...it's normal for a guy to want to look at porn. It may be all right to pass something off like that, but nobody seems to considers the others' feelings. I feel left out and unattractive when I find that he needs images of other girls to turn him on. When I see that he's looking at it and I ask him about it, he lies and makes up some kind of stupid excuse. When I ask him to just tell me the truth he gets angry. I feel betrayed when I ask for the truth and all I get is more lies. I've told him how I feel about it and I really wish he would respect my feelings but he doesn't seem to care.

 

What am I supposed to do?

[Tony T]

In my opinion, you have a much bigger problem than you realize.

 

For some guys, looking a nakes ladies is no big deal and is just something they do once in a while for kicks. But for your guy to be entranced by lesbian trash to the extent that it affects his relationship with you is not normal at all.

 

You can get some help by going to the links page of this site, clicking on "addiction and recovery", then clicking on "sexual addiction". Also, you can enter "sexual addiction" or "porn addiction" in a good search engine and get lots of info.

 

The guy is caught up in this stuff and lies about it, just like an alcoholic would lie about drinking. He doesn't even realize he has a problem. The problem comes in when this fascination with naked ladies doing it with other naked ladies starts interfering with the normal conduct of his life and personal relationships.

 

If he won't get help for this, there is no hope for a good life with him and you will just have to move on. But getting him to a point of getting help may prove difficult.

 

I personally have always been baffled by guys who like to look at naked ladies getting on with other ladies. It just doesn't seem natural to me. I can surely understand why this would bother you.

 

There is no good reason why you should subject yourself and your feelings to this sort of thing when so many men would prefer nothing else but YOU! Do all you can in life to feel good...and either correct situations or get out of them if they make you feel bad.