when they want you back... how do you deal?

[bluefeather]

Not defensive - annoyed. Another wrong assumption. Please refrain from posting here.

[turnera]

Open forum.

 

I'm just trying to understand why you are putting SO much effort into combatting posters and clarifying and defending, instead of just listening to what they think and then going about your business. You did come here to ask for opinions/advice. If you don't like what you're hearing, maybe you need to try something different.

[Oregon_Dude]

OP, why don't you either take her back... or don't?

 

Either way you're going to overanalyze the situation and be unhappy with your decision. I agree with turnera; you're arguing with people who have taken the time to post in your thread. Take the advice or don't. No point in posting in your thread if you're going to bicker and be ungrateful.

[bluefeather]

OP, why don't you either take her back... or don't?

 

Either way you're going to overanalyze the situation and be unhappy with your decision. I agree with turnera; you're arguing with people who have taken the time to post in your thread. Take the advice or don't. No point in posting in your thread if you're going to bicker and be ungrateful.

 

Ok, I'm going to stop this before it actually does turn into an argument. Peace.

[Simon Phoenix]

Dude, you need to relax OP. No one is attacking you and you'd be foolish to defensively dismiss things that are being said because they aren't what you want to hear. Personally, this seems like fool's gold to me. You're a couple months removed (with probably even less time of No Contact) from a relationship that died because a person with a personality disorder dumped you. Do you honestly think she's somehow made such an epiphany and is completely changed? Do you honestly think you've completely eradicated whatever issues you might have brought to the relationship? I'd say hell no to the first and probably not on the second.

 

Either way, she broke it, she needs to fix it. And you are doing yourself a disservice if you hold her hand during this. While I'm not advocating the "once a month" plan that was broached earlier, I am advocating the thought behind it -- that you need to be less available and have other stuff going and that it's up to her to prove to you that she is genuine. That's not game-playing, that's just a consequence of her decision to break up with you.

 

Reconciliations can work, but "reconciliations" in your current situation is akin to putting lipstick on a pig or stuffing already-chewed bubble gum into a dam leak. It's a half-ass, temporary solution that will ultimately collapse on itself.

[singme2sleep]

Dude, you need to relax OP. No one is attacking you and you'd be foolish to defensively dismiss things that are being said because they aren't what you want to hear. Personally, this seems like fool's gold to me. You're a couple months removed (with probably even less time of No Contact) from a relationship that died because a person with a personality disorder dumped you. Do you honestly think she's somehow made such an epiphany and is completely changed? Do you honestly think you've completely eradicated whatever issues you might have brought to the relationship? I'd say hell no to the first and probably not on the second.

 

Either way, she broke it, she needs to fix it. And you are doing yourself a disservice if you hold her hand during this. While I'm not advocating the "once a month" plan that was broached earlier, I am advocating the thought behind it -- that you need to be less available and have other stuff going and that it's up to her to prove to you that she is genuine. That's not game-playing, that's just a consequence of her decision to break up with you.

 

Reconciliations can work, but "reconciliations" in your current situation is akin to putting lipstick on a pig or stuffing already-chewed bubble gum into a dam leak. It's a half-ass, temporary solution that will ultimately collapse on itself.

 

Simon, how much time are you saying needs to pass...few months isn't enough?

[bluefeather]

Dude, you need to relax OP. No one is attacking you and you'd be foolish to defensively dismiss things that are being said because they aren't what you want to hear. Personally, this seems like fool's gold to me. You're a couple months removed (with probably even less time of No Contact) from a relationship that died because a person with a personality disorder dumped you. Do you honestly think she's somehow made such an epiphany and is completely changed? Do you honestly think you've completely eradicated whatever issues you might have brought to the relationship? I'd say hell no to the first and probably not on the second.

 

Either way, she broke it, she needs to fix it. And you are doing yourself a disservice if you hold her hand during this. While I'm not advocating the "once a month" plan that was broached earlier, I am advocating the thought behind it -- that you need to be less available and have other stuff going and that it's up to her to prove to you that she is genuine. That's not game-playing, that's just a consequence of her decision to break up with you.

 

Reconciliations can work, but "reconciliations" in your current situation is akin to putting lipstick on a pig or stuffing already-chewed bubble gum into a dam leak. It's a half-ass, temporary solution that will ultimately collapse on itself.

 

sigh... this is one thing I do not like about forums. I already said I was stopping this potential argument about nothing and here comes someone else to say "yo you need to stop" ... seriously? A little late to the party there.

 

I am not dismissing things that I don't want to hear... My only issue was one person saying things about me that are untrue. Why is that so hard for some people to understand? I am not feeling attacked so there is no need for me to feel defensive. I do not feel that way.

 

ugh, people are annoying. This thread can be locked. I'm done.