Jinx01 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I have a particular male friend of mine that I was sleeping with when I was single 3 years ago. He's aware that I'm not interested in sex with him anymore. Yet he keeps texting me. I put an end to the sexting part of it when the sex stopped. Even though occasionally he will still attempt this only to be shot down. He knows I'm in a terrible relationship and when we talk he'll usually repeatedly tell me to break up with my boyfriend. I've quit texting this guy at all but he keeps texting me. He texts to tell me that he has met other women, and sends me a joke or pic in text at least once a week. He recently texted me a picture of a girl he was dating that he said looked sort of like me and was "bad ass" like me. I'm confused, what does this guy want? Is he still trying to sleep with me? Does he want to be my friend? Does he want to date me? Shouldn't all this stop after three years of me showing little to no interest? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Yes, he is hoping you'll sleep with him. I would suggest you tell him one final time, that you are not interested and never will be, and that you will not respond to anything he might say or do ever again. If your relationship is terrible why are you still in it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jinx01 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 I'm still in a terrible relationship because I can do really stupid things some times when I try hard enough. Lol Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 That doesn't sound like a very good reason to stay in a terrible relationship, to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Jinx01 lets face it, this guy is texting you more because he is banking on you being emotionally vulnerable/weak due to your relationship situation. he's thinking you should be ripe for the picking soon as things get worse with your BF. He isn't being nice, he is manipulating you. Most people do move on, but he is obsessed with you. The more you push him away, the more he tries to pull you in, and all it takes is you responding. That gives him hope. Unfortunately it won't stop unless you cut off his access to you. You want him gone? or not? Delete/block/no contact.....pretty simple. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jinx01 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 I want him gone Ive tried to not be a complete dick about it. I blocked his number and got curious and checked the block area and found that he's continued to text with no reply. Wouldn't it point more to him being crazy if he's still trying to get in my pants after 3 years? Should I be worried about a crazy guy coming after me? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 He probably knows you have blocked his messages by the lack of responses, but in some weird sad way, messaging you lets him still have that connection with you to make him feel better. If he is to come after you he would be doing more than texting by now. I hope he can't view your FB page or whatever social media you use. If he can, I would hit private, friends only button on that. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I have had a stalker (maybe still) that was a school chum that I never dated, he got weird/obsessed so I cut ties......20 years later him and other classmates found me on social media. I thought people just move on, especially after 20 years of no contact.....boy was I wrong. He never changed. I won't go into details but it continued for about 15 years off on on. So if I were you, keep an eye on it.....maybe when you get a new phone, get a new number while you are at it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jinx01 Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 I have had a stalker (maybe still) that was a school chum that I never dated, he got weird/obsessed so I cut ties......20 years later him and other classmates found me on social media. I thought people just move on, especially after 20 years of no contact.....boy was I wrong. He never changed. I won't go into details but it continued for about 15 years off on on. So if I were you, keep an eye on it.....maybe when you get a new phone, get a new number while you are at it. Maybe some people just never move on. I have a stalker aside from this guy friend that unfortunately lives in my town. He doesn't have my # anymore but he does make an appearance to creep on me in a store from time to time and try to talk to me even though he knows I've tried blocking him and told him to stay away from me. I wonder what can que the weird obsession. Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Search male predators, he knows you are venerable and want to get some sex from you, he continues to text you even after you told him to stop and blocked his number because it doesn't cost him anything to do so. You gotta keep blocking him and if he ever get in touch with you do not accept any harassment from him Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 I wonder what can que the weird obsession. Loneliness I feel. A lack of social skills to have normal relationships. Might be from a form of Autism. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jinx01 Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 Loneliness I feel. A lack of social skills to have normal relationships. Might be from a form of Autism. Correct enough I guess. My actual stalker has asperger's, I invited him out for a jog and it started this whole thing.... The other one that is still bothering me after years I don't understand. He's got a dating life and things, sleeps with other people, why fixate on one girl? I'll assume it's because he is being creepy... Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Correct enough I guess. My actual stalker has asperger's, I invited him out for a jog and it started this whole thing.... The other one that is still bothering me after years I don't understand. He's got a dating life and things, sleeps with other people, why fixate on one girl? I'll assume it's because he is being creepy... Him not able to have you makes you more desirable. Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I'm the opposite, i let go too easily, and then i wonder if i should have tried harder? However it is not a nice feeling to chase someone who is not interested, it drags you down big time,,, not healthy at all. Much better to look for someone who actually 'wants' to be with you, that's my feeling. I think hollywood teaches guys that they 'can' get the girl because of various fanciful circumstances that make up good story lines for movies but are simply NOT in any way related to REAL life,,,, i really really really wish people would get this through their thick heads (both men and women). Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I can assure you a guy no longer thinks of you as a "friend" if he has slept with you. 3 years ago or not. Believe me, that is a line that is crossed with men once you have sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I want him gone Ive tried to not be a complete dick about it. I blocked his number and got curious and checked the block area and found that he's continued to text with no reply. Wouldn't it point more to him being crazy if he's still trying to get in my pants after 3 years? Should I be worried about a crazy guy coming after me? So why did you take the block back off unless you wanted to continue communicating with him? He sees you as low-hanging fruit. Someone he doesn't have to woo and date and do all the usual crap one has to do in order to get into someone's pants. The fact that you're in an emotional bad place makes you ripe for the picking, so he's keeping up the contact in the hopes he'll get an invitation to come on over one night. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Correct enough I guess. My actual stalker has asperger's, I invited him out for a jog and it started this whole thing..... That explains it a little more. From all I've read about Asperger's, they lack the ability to recognize when they're not acting socially acceptable. It's like they don't have an On/Off switch. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Im a guy. If I enjoyed the sex and you were good and still available. I d still try it on with you. Link to post Share on other sites
jmiller1991 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I have had a stalker (maybe still) that was a school chum that I never dated, he got weird/obsessed so I cut ties......20 years later him and other classmates found me on social media. I thought people just move on, especially after 20 years of no contact.....boy was I wrong. He never changed. I won't go into details but it continued for about 15 years off on on. So if I were you, keep an eye on it.....maybe when you get a new phone, get a new number while you are at it. Yep. Many of us have had such an experience. That is the stalker profile. This happened to a few friends of mine, and I myself had a few guys that just wouldn't stop mindlessly pursuing me for years. I even recently got another msg from this guy who started coming on to me in the 8th grade! That is just how some guys are, and explaining why can be difficult. I think it's often a combination of biological as well as social factors, such as mental illness. Someone here suggested autism, and I agree that often it could be a factor. But they are definitely out there. The OP is playing with fire. I want him gone Ive tried to not be a complete dick about it. I blocked his number and got curious and checked the block area and found that he's continued to text with no reply. Wouldn't it point more to him being crazy if he's still trying to get in my pants after 3 years? Should I be worried about a crazy guy coming after me? Yes, that is CRAZY, and you should be worried. But about HIM, not about being a "complete dick about it". That's also crazy. You should not be worrying about what he thinks. You need to be concerned about yourself right now. Completely cut him off and do not respond to his messages anymore. If you see him coming at you in person, walk away. To not do so is to play with fire. Don't end up like me and many others. Too many girls worry about not being "dicks" and being "nice", and before they realize the seriousness of the situation, it's too late. My experience is a perfect example. Back in middle school I used to like wearing short skirts (my legs were always my best asset) and some boys there started taking 'upskirt' pics of my with their cell phones. So called 'thong shots'. I knew it was wrong, but not wanting to be a "complete dick" I didn't say anything. I would hear a 'click' and see a boy walking away, and I would just laugh, cuz I wanted to be "cool". I stupidly enjoyed the attention, and I even ended up letting them take other pics of me while I posed, completely oblivious to the dangers. I actually fancied myself a 'model' at the time, little did I know what they were actually doing with the pictures! And by the time I did, it was too late. Pictures were shared and posted, and I ended up with a bad reputation, as well as other problems. And it wasn't until I eventually decided to just be a "complete dick" and tell on them that the nightmare ended. They got in big trouble for it, but who knows where some of those pics are floating around now? So please, please, do not worry about being a "complete dick". Worry about being completely safe and protect yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jinx01 Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 So why did you take the block back off unless you wanted to continue communicating with him? He sees you as low-hanging fruit. Someone he doesn't have to woo and date and do all the usual crap one has to do in order to get into someone's pants. The fact that you're in an emotional bad place makes you ripe for the picking, so he's keeping up the contact in the hopes he'll get an invitation to come on over one night. I don't have to take a blocked number off my phone to see if there are any blocked people trying to contact me. There is a blocked box. I opened it from curiosity and found messages that had gone on for months with no reply. Link to post Share on other sites
Chuck_Canuck Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I can assure you a guy no longer thinks of you as a "friend" if he has slept with you. 3 years ago or not. Believe me, that is a line that is crossed with men once you have sex. Yes, and not to steal the thread, my GF has an ex that just wont let go... still wants to get some, despite knowing we're in a relationship. Every word out of her mouth gets returned with sexual innuendo from him. I've met him...we've met him together...He creeps me out...and Im a guy. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 You used to have sex with him and he clearly liked it a lot more than you did. You call him your friend, but it seems pretty obvious he just wants another shot... probably best to not continue being friends with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 I worked with a guy, RR, who a shop full of guys (close to 200) whi hated him beyond reason for his actions towards women. The men's room wall were covered, and not one comment about anyone but him. I mean he had to make sure to park where the parking lot camera could see his car. There were several pics floating around of guys pissing on his Car. These guys were not in any sense feminist. So, yes there are guys you cannot give the tine of day to. I mean they say good morning - you call the cops !!! Link to post Share on other sites
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