Dealing with just 'being me'

[nellbell86]

I have not been on my own for long, since I was 18. I met my bf, we fell pregnant, had our son, sadly lost him at 3 months to SIDS, got married, had another child, then separated after 7 years (my choice). Only 3 weeks later, I met my next partner. We were together for nearly 4 years, separated the end of 2014. When our relationship was nesring it's end, I met an amazing young guy at the pub one night. We kept in contact, and when my partner and I split (mutual agreement), I started a RS with this new wonderful guy. 7 months later, back in July, he breaks up with me, seemingly out of nowhere. I am completely blindsided, devastated, have a total breakdown, lose my job, am severely depressed. Now 3 months later and I am still devastated and really struggling with being on my own.

 

I am extremely codependent, I realize that, I gave my everything to the RS, and when he left me I felt like I was NOTHING, totally worthless, if someone I loved so much and gave everything to could walk away from me, then I'm not worth anything. I have never been dumped before, so I just didn't know how to handle it, and I have never been on my own for so long as an adult before, and I'm just so depressed in my own company, I hate it I like some small parts, like watching what I want, or staying in my pjs all day if I want, eating what I want when I want, etc. But for the most part, I am miserable. I see so many other single friends around me who have been single for a long time and are SO HAPPY in their lives, and I envy them so much.

 

I guess I'm just wondering if there are any tips that anyone out there can give me to get over this slump, I miss my ex every single day and feel miserable without him, but I just want to be happy in myself and be ok without him, or anyone else, to make me happy. I want to make me happy!

[sportygirl89]

Try counseling. Never let a guy have that much influence ever. Also bring busy will help.