help! advice, what do u think??

[Leslie]

Well, I am a junior in college, and I have never had a boyfriend and probably few guy friends. At the beginning of this year at a religious function i met a lot fo new people. Most of them i see a lot on campus, and especially one guy I kept seeing everywhere. We saw each other first semester all the time in the library and we kept acknowledging each other and more. Sometimes we'd both me almost the only ones in the library on a friday or saturday night. At those times not till January did we start talking about a lot till midnight. I found out that we have so many things in common and so much common interests. I kept seeing him everywhere, classes, walking and all. We said hi and when we kept seeing each other at the library we would talk a lot to each other and sit next to each other. He on the other hand is a senior, and let me add very very handsome (which I didn't notice for some reason at first). Just starting this semester, every time at the library he was working on his senior research project. For that project he had to present some of it in late February, and invited me to come and see him, because I seemed very interested in his topic. After that he thanked me for coming and we kept seeing each other in the library or in passing. Finally once in teh library he asked me to go out to lunch with him and i was so very exicted, because I became very attracted to him. We ate and we talked a lot. Then I told him that i had a fun time and that whenever he wanted to go again he should call me or whatever. He responded, "yeah if we are in the library or something" Well 3 other times before Spring Break, we saw each other and then he invited me to dinner or lunch, and we went and had a wonderful time talking. Throughout this time I became over in love with him. The funny thing is, the only time I see him is by chance or when he is coming out of a class that I am going to. When we do see each other by chance we stop and talk to each other a whole lot, adn everyone else that comes by us we almsot ignore. Well, except for a few nights ago when he popped by my room to tell me some exciting news for him, was the only time we didn't see each other by chance. Before, as I talked with him, he seemed like he might be gay. I don't know, some of the things he talked about are things that guys usually don't talk about. But no matter what he was, I still was overly in love with him and still am. Well to that point we considered each other friends. Then before Spring break I e-mailed all of my friends telling them what e-mail address they could reach me at during the break. I included him in this. I heard back from him 3 times during the break, and he told me about what he was doing. Very friendly and all. Then I coudln't get over it and i asked him if he would like to go to dinner with me the day we got back, and he said he'd love to. He would come by my room and get me and then we'd go together. We have very good chemistry and so much in. We mostly talk about our educational interests, because we are both pretty studious, obviously.

 

The question is, well he is leaving and I am obviosuly not. I am so in love with him, but I really wont' see him, unless i run into him, or I go where I know he will most likely be. I know we are friends, not best friends yet, but friends. When I am with him, like right before I go back to my room and he goes to his, there is a little feeling of confusion, like we don't know what to do next. I know every time i see him, I feel like I am buidling upon on relatinoship as friends. It is not just like saying hi to a friend. he is probably the sweetest, smartest, and nicest guy I have met.

 

I can see why he may not be attracted to me in a certain way, but there are many signs that he may be gay also, but I am really not sure. Some things stick out while other things don't. He also commented at very random times some thigns to me. First, he would come back and watch my senior reserach presentation in 4 years no matter where he was, and 2nd that he would love to e-mail me this summer. I don't nkow waht to think. Is he just shy? maybe gay? I don't know. No matter what he is, I will always admire him and have him as a friend, but this deep passion i have for him is over controlling me. I am thinking to write him before he leaves and tell him a little bit about how I feel, but if he is gay or not interested at all and I am just missing it, then I will feel like a complete fool. Some of my friends think he is gay, but there is nothing that really stands out that would say he is, excpet for the fact tha the has a lot of friends that are girls, and his interests are ones that more women probably like. dunno!

 

Thanks for listening!!

 

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