I don't know Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 My wife's friend dropped off her daughter at my house Sunday at noon and picked her up about 7. Its a bit long for a play date imo, but I'm watching football. I come home from work fairly early and her daughter is at my house M-Th 3-7. Thursday evening about 6, I approach my wife and ask What's up with the daughter here every day? The reason being my kids just started middle school and they send home a ton of homework and reading every night. The 5 day long play date was getting in the way of their studies and our basic home routine. Plus I like to have quiet evenings at home during the week. Wife and I are in the kitchen and she tells me that her friends husband who is unemployed has been drinking in his basement for about 7 years and his organs are failing him so they had to take him to the hospital. So I question did they go to the hospital for 5 days straight? Wife replied that the husband actually refused going to the hospital and has been in no shape to pick up his daughter after school. I looked to my wife and said as sad as it is, we really should not be getting in involved in this. If they need help during an emergency that's one thing but to rely on us everyday is another. We don't know this other family all that long. I said to her that this week is OK, we helped, but if this problem persists she needs to find another option for her daughter and we need to focus on our children and their needs first. Feel bad for them but it's not our problem. Wife agreed and said she would talk to her friend. Guess what? I turned around to go into the living room and the wife's FRIEND was standing right there! She let herself into our home without knocking and I am sure she heard the entire conversation. Wife got mad at me and I in turn got mad at the friend. I do not agree with walking into some ones home without knocking or ringing the bell. I was in MY kitchen, talking to MY wife in MY home. If she walked in unannounced and overheard our conversation then and got offended then it's not my fault. We watched her kid for about 20 something hours this week. I feel bad for them but I do not want to be married to their situation. Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 I have only one word....Boundries. You, IMO are correct and your wife is having trouble with setting boundries with her friend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Don't worry that she heard. Sounds like you're not all that close anyway, and this way she KNOWS how you feel about this now and should be less likely to try and put upon your family, plus you don't have to make it your wife's job to talk to the friend about it now (it should be her job sure, but it could cause issues between you both if she doesn't go ahead and do it soon and as firmly as you'd like). I think you're totally in the right btw. What kind of family lets a new friend watch their kid for that amount of time in a week? Sounds like a sad situation but it's absolutely not your problem and you have a right to come home to just your family after work most of the time. For a best friend or a good friendship sure, I'd be game in these circumstances as they're more like family. But just a new friend I'd recently met? No. There are no boundaries in place here but what happened should help to build them. Link to post Share on other sites
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