ImYourFantasy002 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Ok, to start off I am 21 years old & my married friend is 35 years old. We have never had sex, kissed, or any of that. He said our "friendship" isn't about sex, it just fascinates him & I a muse him, he is an artist. One night he told me he was coming over & I told him that it wasn't a good night for him to come hang out... Then he said "are you denying me access?" & I said "of course, not.. tonight just isn't the night" & Then he goes on to say "Well don't say I never tried, but I was just joking for the record,, it would be too late to come anyway".... I felt sooooooo bad that I ended up giving him a key to my apartment. We are not having sex.... Was this ok? I feel as if he is my best buddy.. we have good connections and vibes. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 The name says it all..... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImYourFantasy002 Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 The name says it all..... For the record, this is a trio girl group I am apart of... So instead of assuming get the FACTS! Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Well why not GIVE the facts in the first place? You give keys to a man much older than you. You have a sexually overt forum name. It doesn't take more than that (if you withhold facts) for anyone to add 2 + 2 and come to a different conclusion.... You're welcome.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImYourFantasy002 Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 Well why not GIVE the facts in the first place? You give keys to a man much older than you. You have a sexually overt forum name. It doesn't take more than that (if you withhold facts) for anyone to add 2 + 2 and come to a different conclusion.... You're welcome.... Well are you going to give some advice or keep talking about my name... What do you think about me giving him a key? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 The same thing I think about any young thing giving an older, married man the key. Unwise. First of all, it sends out the wrong message. Secondly, please don't believe for one single moment his interest in you is merely platonic. If he's married, and flirting (which he is) then this is deep crap you really need to back away from. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I think you need to figure out why you are lacking the self esteem and insight to understand that men who who berate you for not allowing them access to you or your things are dangerous and controlling. I think you need to speak to a mentor or to your mother/grandmother about why you think this is acceptable and why you seem to be so gullible. Good luck, Grumps 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Blunt Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 You are either naive or you like the attention Giving him a key is foolish 5 Link to post Share on other sites
candycane0116 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 (edited) You need to CHANGE your locks!!! This was not a wise choice. What if his wife finds the key and shows up at your place! Then what? Edited October 3, 2015 by candycane0116 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImYourFantasy002 Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 I think you need to figure out why you are lacking the self esteem and insight to understand that men who who berate you for not allowing them access to you or your things are dangerous and controlling. I think you need to speak to a mentor or to your mother/grandmother about why you think this is acceptable and why you seem to be so gullible. Good luck, Grumps I'm not understanding how am I gullible? I didn't give him any sex and I haven't pursued that. And how is he dangerous and controlling? He said he was just joking. You aren't making any sense Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImYourFantasy002 Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 You need to CHANGE your locks!!! This was not a wise choice. What if his wife finds the key and shows up at your place! Then what? First of all, how would she know where I was located?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImYourFantasy002 Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 You are either naive or you like the attention Giving him a key is foolish Ok, if you say so. But if I'M NOT GIVING UP SEX, HOW IS IT FOOLISH? HE SAID HE DOESN'T WANT SEX.. HE JUST LIKES TO SWIM IN MY HEAD Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I'm not understanding how am I gullible? I didn't give him any sex and I haven't pursued that. And how is he dangerous and controlling? He said he was just joking. You aren't making any sense The fact you ask this and think when someone says they are joking after berating you for not allowing them access to you shows extreme gullibility and a lack of maturity....which is why you need to ask your female relatives who are more mature than you about projection and conditioning. He is projecting a platonic relationship to condition you for an affair. No married man needs or wants a young girls for a muse or a platonic little friend without sex. If you think his behavior is normal....then...call his wife and ask her if it is ok if her husband has a key to his female friends apartment. Geez, G Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I think it's a dumb idea. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Ok, if you say so. But if I'M NOT GIVING UP SEX, HOW IS IT FOOLISH? HE SAID HE DOESN'T WANT SEX.. HE JUST LIKES TO SWIM IN MY HEAD Why are you 'yelling'? You asked for advice. You're only 21. You're young, inexperienced naive and unacquainted with the wiles of married older men. We've given you cold hard basic facts. He likes to swim in your head because he knows it's messing with you. Before you know it, he will have cunningly worked his way to between your thighs, and you'll be the marriage - wrecker. His wife will doubtless be thrilled. Is that what you want? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 My advice? Stay away from married guys...PERIOD They'll use you up until they get caught/bored and gonna go back to their fat, lazy, stupid, manipulative and/or boring wives. So no, you are not hotter than his wife. So, all the attention and cutesy talk he's giving you is just to massage you so he can take advantage of you. Just trust me on this one... BTW, doesn't matter if sex hasn't happened. There's also married guys who have EAs and same thing - just to fill their ego and they could care less about anything you "thought" was there. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Ok, if you say so. But if I'M NOT GIVING UP SEX, HOW IS IT FOOLISH? HE SAID HE DOESN'T WANT SEX.. HE JUST LIKES TO SWIM IN MY HEAD You SOUND like a 21 year old. Rude, arrogant, argumentative, a know it all and naïve as hell. You don't come on a message board and ASK people what they think of your incredibly stupid move giving some married jerk a key to your place then snipe at everyone when they don't tell you what your spoiled ass wants to hear. Since you're 21 and apparently know it all, I guess those with actual wisdom and life experience - both of which you're clearly lacking - are all wrong. LOL. Alrighty, then. Oh, and when his wife comes gunning for your ass - and make no mistake, she WILL - you can wow her with your 21 year old wisdom. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 It's completely fine if he's your dad. He gave you a key to his place first right? It's all ok if you've all sat down together and discussed this; you, him and his wife. Many artists and bullsh** artists believe they're in an open marriage. The thing is THEY FORGET TO TELL THEIR WIFE! Tell the wife or "hang out" at his place sometimes. If it actually plutonic as he insists (excuse me while I puke) then there would be NO concerns at all from his wife. Do it now or risk the wrath of a scorned, betrayed wife. It aint pretty! OR work out whether ..... that's for later. This MUST be a troll thread ie you're just bored and posting some ludicrous thread to goad people. Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I think you need to figure out why you are lacking the self esteem and insight to understand that men who who berate you for not allowing them access to you or your things are dangerous and controlling. I think you need to speak to a mentor or to your mother/grandmother about why you think this is acceptable and why you seem to be so gullible. Good luck, Grumps This ^^^^ EXACTLY. Why are you asking this question in the infidelity section of a bunch of strangers? Don't believe us! Ask your mum, nana, aunty, female boss, female neighbour. In fact you are extremely gullible so ASK THEM ALL. You do trust these women right? Get all their opinions and get back to us. In fact if you haven't then why "hide" your relationship with WH? Why is this thread in the infidelity section instead of the Friendship section? And I refer back to my first response to your thread. Talk to the wife ALL together. If WH backs out of that chat then you have your answer. Phone the wife at work. I'll bet anything she's out working hard for this man's "artistic lifestyle". And he's a self absorbed cheater grooming his next victim really easily. Oh and in your spare time, perk in the OW / OM section. It's full of stories that start like yours. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImYourFantasy002 Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 I hear what all of you are saying. But honestly to hell with his wife. My intentions are to just try to get his money & play the game. Not sure if he was joking but I texted asking him to help me with my homework and/or my bills and he said sure he'd help with the bills and hasn't asked for any sex! Ha! Now who's the dummy?! I wish his wife would show up at MY place, it wouldn't be pretty for her. She needs to learn to control her man or get rid of him. I don't dislike her because I don't even know her but seriously she can't be doing her job... So again what's the worst that could happen that he has my key? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImYourFantasy002 Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 You SOUND like a 21 year old. Rude, arrogant, argumentative, a know it all and naïve as hell. You don't come on a message board and ASK people what they think of your incredibly stupid move giving some married jerk a key to your place then snipe at everyone when they don't tell you what your spoiled ass wants to hear. Since you're 21 and apparently know it all, I guess those with actual wisdom and life experience - both of which you're clearly lacking - are all wrong. LOL. Alrighty, then. Oh, and when his wife comes gunning for your ass - and make no mistake, she WILL - you can wow her with your 21 year old wisdom. Yea ok. His wife doesn't want no problems so I suggest she stay in her place and I'll do the same. I don't want sex from him so what's the problem? As long as there isn't sex and he says he doesn't want that then I am winning! And he wouldn't mind helping with money for bills Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Yea ok. His wife doesn't want no problems so I suggest she stay in her place and I'll do the same. I don't want sex from him so what's the problem? As long as there isn't sex and he says he doesn't want that then I am winning! And he wouldn't mind helping with money for bills And of course, he will give you money for no payback at all... Yeah, right. You're not serious, are you? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I think you need to figure out why you are lacking the self esteem and insight to understand that men who who berate you for not allowing them access to you or your things are dangerous and controlling. I think you need to speak to a mentor or to your mother/grandmother about why you think this is acceptable and why you seem to be so gullible. Good luck, Grumps This ^^^^ EXACTLY. Why are you asking this question in the infidelity section of a bunch of strangers? Don't believe us! Ask your mum, nana, aunty, female boss, female neighbour. In fact you are extremely gullible so ASK THEM ALL. You do trust these women right? Get all their opinions and get back to us. In fact if you haven't then why "hide" your relationship with WH? Why is this thread in the infidelity section instead of the Friendship section? And I refer back to my first response to your thread. Talk to the wife ALL together. If WH backs out of that chat then you have your answer. Phone the wife at work. I'll bet anything she's out working hard for this man's "artistic lifestyle". And he's a self absorbed cheater grooming his next victim really easily. Oh and in your spare time, peek in the OW / OM section. It's full of stories that start like yours. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I hear what all of you are saying. But honestly to hell with his wife. My intentions are to just try to get his money & play the game. Not sure if he was joking but I texted asking him to help me with my homework and/or my bills and he said sure he'd help with the bills and hasn't asked for any sex! Ha! Now who's the dummy?! I wish his wife would show up at MY place, it wouldn't be pretty for her. She needs to learn to control her man or get rid of him. I don't dislike her because I don't even know her but seriously she can't be doing her job... So again what's the worst that could happen that he has my key? OH MONEY!!! What I was gonna say in my first post. In Some states a betrayed spouse can sue for "gifts" given to an affair partner DURING their marraige. And you know this guy ISN'T A FAMOUS artist so WHO'S money? Hers. Oh "theirs" not HIS. Check the laws in your state re-infidelity. You could need a good lawyer. I'll bet your "friendship" could easily be classified as an affair. Emotional affairs are affairs. This is how Physical Affairs often begin. But you know what he wants. You want it too because you're in it for the money! As I almost said in my first post here but held back till the mention of "money". I was gonna say if you want to "entertain" a married man, you may as well charge. You do know this profession. Check your laws there too. There are probably regulations regarding running a "house of ill repute". There'd be hefty fines too for NOT registering. Plus you're gonna need good health cover. Who knows where this guy's been. STD checks are very expensive in the US I believe. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 You are walking on the edge. It won't take long for you to fall off and you'll just be another cheating OW. Fast forward a few years after you're married and some young woman gives your husband a key to her apartment. You good with that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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