dating friends

[bri-guy]

I have fallen in love with my friend. Just in the past few months. She lives several hundred miles away now so we only see each other about once every month or so. We used to talk constantly and we've had a few intimate moments as well. And after 6 years of friendship I started to realize that I want to be 'more than just friends'. I decided to visit her after seeing her a few weeks ago only to find that she has a new boyfriend and has lost her interest in me, maybe I just misread her, imagine that, but I really thought our attraction was mutual. To make a long story short I messed up big time upon finding out this news about her new boyfriend. Seeing the girl I've fallen in love with all over some guy was too much to take and I stormed of the club and later called and expressed my feelings to her voicemail. I am now depressed because I think I have lost a good friend as well as the person I love. I have not spoken to her since but I know she now knows my real feelings. What will become of this? Should I just steer clear and wait for her to respond?

[Tony T]

Your acts of immaturity have clearly shown her you are not a friend of hers. A true friend would be very happy for her and her newfound love.

 

The way you conducted yourself would not be attractive to any lady.

 

If this lady really cares for you as a friend, give things time and it's likely you'll hear from her. In the meantime, resolve yourself to the fact that this will not be a happening thing for you and prepare to move on with your life.

 

You just never know how life is going to go so I really can't tell you long term if you stand a chance with this lady. I wouldn't say chances are good...but I wouldn't rule them out either.

 

Your better strategy is to forget her for now, go find other romantic interests, and learn to deal with your feelings in more socially acceptable ways. Storming out of a club is not the grown-up way to deal with things like this.

 

Also, it's highly impersonal to leave an apology of this nature on an answering machine. You should try to reach her in person...or write her a short note. Then just forget it.