StocksnBlondes Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 I should add that when my father was in the hospital dying...I showed up with my adult daughters to see him. She told the hospital staff he had no son and tried to have us thrown out... Oh dear Buck ...I'm so sorry this happened to you ...you deserved better. This female was no "woman" and your dad likely just wanted someone to love him ...he loved you the best he could. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StocksnBlondes Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Yep. The evil stepmother. I knew one of them growing up, as evil as any classic stepmom character you see in the movies. It was my own mother. She treated my two younger stepsisters worse than dogs. Never for sure why, but their father died right after she married their father, and the abuse didn't begin until after she was with another man. I always felt it had something to do with my new sd resenting them. But whatever it was, it was AWFUL. Fortunately, my brother and I didn't have to endure anything, as we were the favorites. But the two of us watched so many whippings that the image of the 'evil stepmom' is ingrained in my mind whenever I think of my mother, and to this day I will not speak to her. But thankfully, justice was eventually served. She ended up getting in trouble for it, and even did a few months in jail. I was there when she was sentenced, and I didn't feel sorry for her one bit! Good post but who is "sd" ? Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 I think in this scenario it would be Sd= Step Dad? Usually it means Step Daughter ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author buck3200 Posted October 7, 2015 Author Share Posted October 7, 2015 Mine made my dad tell me when I turned 16 that, since I could now drive, I knew where he lived and his visiting days were over because I could drive to see HIM if I wanted. She made him adopt her son, and gave him boats and jet skis and a truck out of my dad's money (he had hundreds of thousands saved up and a beach house and a lake house, while my brother and I lived under the poverty level since he wouldn't help with anything. He wasn't allowed to help me pay for anything in my wedding. He DID give me a $100 hotel room for the honeymoon. For one night. That was my wedding present. She turned us into CPS twice to try to get me to divorce my husband. She took my H out of my dad's will ('cos he had a good job') and later took me and our daughter out of it because I cut them off after she started a rumor about my H molesting our daughter and it got us literally run out of town. The one thing he DID do was apologize to me on his deathbed, said he 'needed' her to take care of him. After which she pushed us out of the room so we weren't there when he died. Good riddance. I have had numerous mutual friends/ customers of ours tell me my dad always said I was to be "taken care of" when he died. As I said before, it was two weeks before I knew that he had died. She didn't even tell one of the afore mentioned friends, who she had promise to keep up to date on his status..... Most told me I should have done something about this. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction!!! Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I thought about pushing it, if for no other reason than to push for our daughter to have a college fund, which I KNEW he'd been saving for. But it would mean having to deal with her. I just couldn't do it. Put us $60,000 in debt, but I just couldn't do it. She had abused me so much, for so long...just couldn't do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 tunera, maybe you couldn't... but a good lawyer could have contested the will. at the end of any family demise... comes the realization that all that bickering delayed moments better shared for loving or kindness. Just a dern shame sometimes that some adults cannot grasp that in life or living. Link to post Share on other sites
janabanana Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 My own mom was probably the most evil stepmother in the world. Ever. She and my stepdad severly abused his two children for years. It was awful. I still have nightmares. They would beat them with belts, switches, and electric cords. They burned them with glue sticks and cigarette butts. They still have scars all over their bodies. They were even deprived of food and water as punishment, to the point of malnourishment. And even tho my brother and I were the favorites, it still affected us too. We had to watch and even participate. Our parents warped our minds and taught us that our stepsiblings were scum, less than human. We grew up thinking it was "normal" and that they deserved what they got. Fortunately, when I got old enough I told on them, and they ended up going to prison for it. So what do you think? Is that evil enough for ya? I usually don't talk about it unless the subject comes up, but as you can see when it does I have everyone beat. I have never heard of a stepmom worse than my mother was. She is actually still in prison for it, and doesn't even come up for parole until 2018. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 That's just horrible. I'm so sorry for you and your siblings. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 (edited) Anyone grow up with one of these? Mine banned me from my father's house at the age of nine and pressed for no contact for the rest of his life. I had an 'evil' stepmother. Wasn't banned, although she was abusive and almost every 'visit' they managed to fight in the bedroom almost the entire visit. I was about 10 and remember her running my dad down, she did this all of the years they were together before he died. While my dad was in a coma, the result of a stroke, I listened to her rantings for over 6 hours basically blaming me... she was deranged. My dad died hours later. At the service her nephew hit on me (I was married) and her brother was trying to talk me into breaking the seal on some proof coins my dad had left me to see if they had 'raised DD' or something... guess 'deranged' ran in the family- my cousin saw what was going on (he's a big mean-looking guy) and asked if I was alright- they scattered. After this mess there was a court battle with the estate- she had agreed to a trust, but never intended to honor it. I think a day or so after the service (maybe before) she was hot on that trail to get it dissolved, but found a road block with me. My daughter was banned via her dads wife... it was the unsaid thing though. She made life miserable for my ex the two times my kids were around. Through the grapevine my daughter would hear of the designer clothes that her stepsister received... they had twin boys together- delightful kids that are now in their twenties. I just love them... my ex divorced their mother after she refused to let him see the boys during a very long separation. A couple of years ago he remarried and now (IMO and observation) his new wife found a way come inbetween his relationship with his boys and there was a big fight in which he kicked them out. I've seen a lot of this type of thing... these are just a few of my personal accounts. IMO it's common these days. Edited October 8, 2015 by pureinheart Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 My own mom was probably the most evil stepmother in the world. Ever. She and my stepdad severly abused his two children for years. It was awful. I still have nightmares. They would beat them with belts, switches, and electric cords. They burned them with glue sticks and cigarette butts. They still have scars all over their bodies. They were even deprived of food and water as punishment, to the point of malnourishment. And even tho my brother and I were the favorites, it still affected us too. We had to watch and even participate. Our parents warped our minds and taught us that our stepsiblings were scum, less than human. We grew up thinking it was "normal" and that they deserved what they got. Fortunately, when I got old enough I told on them, and they ended up going to prison for it. So what do you think? Is that evil enough for ya? I usually don't talk about it unless the subject comes up, but as you can see when it does I have everyone beat. I have never heard of a stepmom worse than my mother was. She is actually still in prison for it, and doesn't even come up for parole until 2018. Yep... you definitely caused mine to look angelic... if that was possible because evil is evil IMO, just varying degrees- yours is close to the highest. Out of curiosity, where was their mother during all of this? Link to post Share on other sites
janabanana Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 That's just horrible. I'm so sorry for you and your siblings. Yeah, it was terrible. But I try not to think about it anymore, because there is no way to change the past. The hardest part for me is the guilt. I still feel guilty sometimes for participating in it, my brother too, but I know it's stupid to for us to do that because our parents made us like that. It was not our fault. They taught us that our stepsiblings were dirt, lower than dogs. I remember our mom saying they had "bad genes" and "bad blood". So there was really nothing else my brother and I could do. We treated them the same as our own parents did, the way we were "supposed" to. But we both still struggle with it to this day. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Have you ever read A Child Called It? Link to post Share on other sites
janabanana Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Have you ever read A Child Called It? No, why? (10 characters) Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Because it's a true story that deals exactly with what you just described. One child became the 'it' child who everyone abused (mainly the mother). The other kids were forced to go along with it, but they also came to just accept it; they ended up in worse shape than HE did, from all the guilt and shame of allowing it and participating in it. Fascinating, uplifting story, if you can stomach, coming from the same situation. A Child Called It: One Child's Courage to Survive by Dave Pelzer | 9781558743663 | Paperback | Barnes & Noble Link to post Share on other sites
janabanana Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Because it's a true story that deals exactly with what you just described. One child became the 'it' child who everyone abused (mainly the mother). The other kids were forced to go along with it, but they also came to just accept it; they ended up in worse shape than HE did, from all the guilt and shame of allowing it and participating in it. Fascinating, uplifting story, if you can stomach, coming from the same situation. A Child Called It: One Child's Courage to Survive by Dave Pelzer | 9781558743663 | Paperback | Barnes & Noble Thx, turnera, I will check it out. I would be interested in hearing how someone else deals with this. I honestly didnt know if anyone else grew up like that. Given my experience, I think that kind of psychological abuse can be even worse than physical abuse. Your heart and mind become warped, just like your abuser's. Looking back, it was shocking for me to realize how much they molded and shaped my brother and I to be just like them. Not only did we learn to abuse them, we learned to enjoy it. They used to leave us in charge of the house all the time, and my brother and I could do whatever we wanted with them. He was in charge of "disciplining" our brother, while I handled our sister. I remember days where I would beat my sister for hours with belts, sticks, switches, whatever. I remember particularly liking the electric cord because it covered her in bruises. It actually makes me sick now just thinking about it, but at the time we actually enjoyed it. I remember my brother and I thinking about all the "fun" things we were going to do to them the next time we watched them, and planning them out. And our parents were completely ok with it, in fact, they encouraged it. They would often tell us to give them a whipping, and they scolded us if we were too soft about it. Now, when my brother and I think back on it, we cannot believe what monsters we were. It's almost as if it wasn't us that did all those awful things, but someone else. That's really how it feels. The guilt and regret eat you up. Sometimes I even wish I could trade places with my stepsiblings. I know that sounds weird, but honestly I think I'd rather live with the scars than the guilt. At least the scars don't hurt anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I really urge you to start reading up on psychology. I think it will help you immensely to understand how the brain works, especially in extreme situations. One great book on that is Emotional Alchemy, just phenomenal. And, so you know, what you and your siblings experienced and did is 100% normal given your circumstances. Link to post Share on other sites
BlessYourHeart Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 I had an evil step mother. I remember some of the horrible things that she did to me when I was a child. Once she forced me to drink an entire bottle of Mt Dew because I took a sip out of hers. She made all kinds of comments about how I can't sing, I'm ugly.. etc. etc. she slapped me in the face once.. Now that I'm older, I recently reconnected with her.. (she and my father divorced after 7 years) She had become a mother and been through Hurricane Katrina and everything else.. She admitted to me that she mistreated us, and she has apologized to me several times for her actions. I feel like every time I talk to her she tells me she was sorry. I think she was young, she had no idea what she was doing and she was just going off of what she thought was best. I'm glad that I was able to forgive her.. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 When I used to listen to Dr Laura (radio psychologist), she would insist single parents shouldn't enter into marriage or relationships until their children were 18. May seem unreasonable, but probably a good idea. How many parents are going to speak up to their replacement partners - in favor of their children? Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 The best gift my mom ever gave me was not dating after my dad divorced. I was messed up as it was; if I'd had to deal with some man taking up my mom's time, I doubt I would have survived to 18. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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