Dopher87 Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 (edited) I knew a girl in sweden for 5-6 months we were best friends we met on a game called Dota 2. I am canadian, I flew down too see here 6000ish km, everything was decent we had our ups and downs I did mistreat her sometimes (not intentionally) It was out of pure anger. I moveed in with her in sweden for just above 60 days, She was always upset that I did not make plans in her country, upset randomly about small things, ect. I did make an effort, with her and pleased her often. But things just didn't seem as good as i thought. We had sex 5-6 times out of the 60 days, which is one of my regrets but I was looking for companionship over sex, she was looking sex over companionship, we did talk about it but she was firm on that. Anyways we had a blow out the first week I was with her, I was getting little to no sleep with the 9 hours timee difference, I explained my situation too her but she kept pushing me over her weight, which i was surprised about at first but didnt think much of it later cus her picturees were decieving, so she asked me if thee problem was her weight, I kept my distance, and she kept asking, so I said if you want too you can lose weeight but thats not the problem I am jet lagged, so she got upset and stormed off telling me to go **** myself ect and that I wasn't perfect either, I felt terrible, I cried and packed up my **** from her place was ready too leave, she came back up after talking to her Best friend, and we apologized for everything, But she later kept holding that when we were in bed shee would constantly bring it up, and i would havee to remind her I didnt mean it, and she told me she didnt know if she could ever forgive me in my eyes she did take offense to what I said the wrong way. Anyways we had a pretty layed back relationship, this was my first GF and it was long distance, when i ended up leaving, and got back home, I told her that i loved her, she said she would be willing to work it out now that she knew but she was upset that i didnt tell her when i was with her. I kept calling her everyday now that I was home In canada, and just talked with her, but she feelt it was hard and she started to get bored, she used that line too me when wee broke up. I ended up giving her a month + a week space, when I contacted her she and I ended up getting into a fight about really nothing she ended up blocking me on Steam and than I called her names out of anger on skype, so shee endeed up blocking me than. Idk Ive told her I was sorry countless times, but she said treat people the way you want to be treated I knew i hurt her, I was so mad in thee moment, i told her my emotions got the best of me, and she said she knew i was sorry but couldnt forgive me. So she ended up breaking up with me on Skype out of all things telling me shee didnt love me anymore, I started to harass her trying to plead with her that I was an emotional wreck, anyways what should I do here? she told me she doesnt love me anymore, she ended up wasting near a yearish of my life, she was my first love, I ended up falling in love with her back home and it's been 3 months now, and i keep contacting her, i dont know what too do orr where i stand. any advice? Im 28 she's 22 Edited October 5, 2015 by Dopher87 Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 1. women wants an ambitios guy and thats just fact. unfortunately in a long distance relationship like that it is extremly for you to just do things. i mean you cant work. 2. i think it sounds like the attraction wasnt really there but after she left you you feel hurt which is normal. 3. fighting like that often comes cause you are just not really good for each other, attraction might not be there, you dont have anything to do during the days, nothing to talk about etc. it sucks when someone breaks up with you, no matter how much you love the person it still hurts knowing that someone that used to be there for you doesnt want you anymore. but things will be fine for you, you'll find someone else. maybe this girl is over sensitive but it is not easy to be in a long distance relationship and i think a persons worst sides will shine through cause you know they wont be there all the time and it hurts, and sometimes they are there every single minute which is also a bit too much. if you arent attracted to a person there really isnt any point for you to be together with her. learn from this and think about what you could have done better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dopher87 Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 Well thank you, I am attracted to her that's wha makesbit hard to. But, she made it clear that we won't be together so that's something I got to let go of. To keep my sanity. I'll always care for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Nut2fast Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 I'll be honest I really made an account just to tell you this, To me honestly it sounds like immature love of course you will crave your first girlfriend but Ima let you know that stuff is all in your head, worry about better things in your life thing you might wanna fix in yourself for example the way you vent your anger out from your emotions towards her that being one of men's biggest downfall, also there's plenty of girls out there, even I had my share of pain in the ass and little deep feeling for my first serious relationship, but now I found a new girl who unlike my ex this one is long distance and In 3 days we will meet for the first time, but enough about my boring story, things will get better like u said u play games accept the fact it's over play a new game the fact that she took stuff seriously means she also needs to grow up a little and you will see that one day it will be her missing you believe me in that. Stay positive the first heartbreak is always the worse 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dopher87 Posted October 24, 2015 Author Share Posted October 24, 2015 today she textted me she had to go to the hospital, i asked what happened and she just plays it off, says thanks for nothing than blocks me on facebook lol. don't know what to make of the situation.... Link to post Share on other sites
DropCity Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 (edited) today she textted me she had to go to the hospital, i asked what happened and she just plays it off, says thanks for nothing than blocks me on facebook lol. don't know what to make of the situation.... Dopher87 (OP)...!!! The girl you described (as it appears to me) has a Borderline Personality Disorder! And you have (as it appears to me) Low Self-Esteem. Please research what I'm saying because it's a deadly combination! Plus you can help yourself... and overall... be a better person for the next girl. And learn to be thankful you practically live on the other side of this planet, far away from this BPD girl! (I'd suggest moving to Mars if necessary.) Please research what I'm saying so you can learn... "what to make of the situation"... and more! Edited October 24, 2015 by DropCity Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dopher87 Posted October 24, 2015 Author Share Posted October 24, 2015 what? huh? Link to post Share on other sites
Downtown Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 what? huh?DropCity is referring to BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), which my exW has. If you are interested in reading about it, Dopher, you might want to take a quick look at my list of 18 BPD Warning Signs. If most sound very familiar, I would suggest you also read my more detailed description at my posts in Rebel's Thread. If that description rings many bells, I would be glad to join DropCity in discussing them with you. Significantly, learning to spot these warning signs will NOT enable you to diagnose your exGF's issues. Only a professional can do that. Yet, like learning warning signs for stroke and heart attack, learning those for BPD may help you avoid a very painful experience -- e.g., avoid taking her back and avoid running into the arms of another woman just like her. Take care, Dopher. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dopher87 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Share Posted October 27, 2015 yeah so, shes a good person, i dont think she has a disorder, i Ended up stalking and harassing her which caused her to feel different towards me, not for long but I admittingly did. I told her i feelt bad about it ect, but she told me she could never forgive mee for what I had done! dont know what too say to her about that should i just move on>? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dopher87 Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 Thing is i love her i want her back in my life... i dont know what to do here Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 yeah so, shes a good person, i dont think she has a disorder, i Ended up stalking and harassing her which caused her to feel different towards me, not for long but I admittingly did. I told her i feelt bad about it ect, but she told me she could never forgive mee for what I had done! dont know what too say to her about that should i just move on>? What did you do, exactly? This doesn't sound good at all. Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 Dopher87 (OP)...!!! The girl you described (as it appears to me) has a Borderline Personality Disorder! And you have (as it appears to me) Low Self-Esteem. Please research what I'm saying because it's a deadly combination! Plus you can help yourself... and overall... be a better person for the next girl. And learn to be thankful you practically live on the other side of this planet, far away from this BPD girl! (I'd suggest moving to Mars if necessary.) Please research what I'm saying so you can learn... "what to make of the situation"... and more! Do not diagnose a stranger (from heresy no less) over the freakin' internet! Omg. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dopher87 Posted November 4, 2015 Author Share Posted November 4, 2015 What did you do, exactly? This doesn't sound good at all. I ended up texting her twice a day trying to win her back, and had a friend follow her on Skype she sent him pictures and told me she knew it was me I know it was bad. She told me she could never forgive me. I'm still in love with her. What should I do? This isn't the first time I've done something like this too her Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 I ended up texting her twice a day trying to win her back, and had a friend follow her on Skype she sent him pictures and told me she knew it was me I know it was bad. She told me she could never forgive me. I'm still in love with her. What should I do? This isn't the first time I've done something like this too her You need to leave her alone. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's clear she doesn't want you to contact her. Respect her boundaries and re-direct your energy into moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
Downtown Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 ^^^^^ THIS. Expat has given you very good advice. Link to post Share on other sites
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