Adding Men On Facebook...???

[LookAtThisPOst]

Funny, the only time I attempted to reach out to women online is if they put their social media handle IN their dating profile. lol.

 

It's also convenient that sometimes Meetup members can tie their Facebook profiles to their corresponding profiles.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I have dated people I met through social media, about 3 times, but it was organic. One guy was someone with whom I had mutual friends

 

Right, the only time I really attempt to contact someone on FB, is if I see we're mutual friends with the same people. The more, the better.

 

Though, I've heard complaints from some people complaining about someone attempting to "hit on their friends" only because they are "mutual friends", they have even threatened to UN-friend the perps if they found them out by name, and I argued that you can't really fault them for trying.

[circlesinfinity]

Well, you never know. It doesn't hurt to scour friends' friends lists. I added a guy with whom I shared a lot of mutual friends, based on the fact that we were commenting on a lot of the same things, and seemed to have the same interests.

 

Tonight he packed my lunch before I left for work, dear husband that he is.

Awwww, there is HOPE

[circlesinfinity]

Right, the only time I really attempt to contact someone on FB, is if I see we're mutual friends with the same people. The more, the better.

 

Though, I've heard complaints from some people complaining about someone attempting to "hit on their friends" only because they are "mutual friends", they have even threatened to UN-friend the perps if they found them out by name, and I argued that you can't really fault them for trying.

Gesh, I didn't know people got that offended...

 

I honestly don't really know how else to meet anyone. In person, guys don't talk and I have no friends because I live somewhere I can finally call home.

 

Oh well, I hope I die a prophet because it looks like I'm going to stay a virgin. I know it is TMI, but I am getting extremely frustrated and worried. It is my looks, is not...I should approach men, I shouldn't...

 

..society is f**ked up.

[circlesinfinity]

Ok, I didn't really know who any of those people were, so I looked them up, except Aaliyah I know from Queen of the Damned, but that's it... ok, overall, those are far from 10s for me. Those all look average to me. I would strongly advise you against having your face changed unless there is some sort of damage/imperfection you want to get rid of. From what I'm reading so far, it sounds like you are just trying so hard to get attention from really sh*tty people.

bluefeather, I don't care what you say, Aaliyah was a freakin' 10. Lol! I just can't find anything unattractive or average about her.

 

I also think it depends on who is looking at her. I am African American, I am going from my perspective here...in the African American community men would jump out of a speeding car to get to that type of girl.

 

I already know what you're going to say...I have dated men of all backgrounds.

[pinkpositive]

I figure maybe men do not like a friend request from someone they don't know. I have been denied or ignored from so many requests.

It is not my looks because, not to be conceited, but I'm seriously a beautiful woman. I refused to believe all men in their late 20s just want only "one thing".

 

When I send out requests I make sure we have two/three things in common (like fashion...I like men that dress nice, art, etc.), just in case we start to send messages back/forth. I also say I noticed something cool about their profile and that I would like to be friends.

 

This is an example of one I sent:

Hello,

I saw your profile from the sewing group, here on facebook. I absolutely love your style, I hope we can be friends. Take care

 

I mean was that too much? The men I request usually have a lot of friends from in a group so I'm not sure why I got rejected. This guy didn't even put me on " follow". He even took off his "add friend" feature.

 

 

What am I doing wrong?

 

Men can you answer as well please? I won't bite and I will appreciate it.

 

Hi, Just to share my opinion as a girl. I don't like accepting all friend request in fb especially when I dont know them and same thing in messages received in FB I don't reply people that I dont know in FB whatever intentions they have. It just doesnt make sense to me. I prefer using other sites to look for a friend/dating than FB, I dont know maybe because FB is too public.

[bluefeather]

bluefeather, I don't care what you say, Aaliyah was a freakin' 10. Lol! I just can't find anything unattractive or average about her.

 

I also think it depends on who is looking at her. I am African American, I am going from my perspective here...in the African American community men would jump out of a speeding car to get to that type of girl.

 

I already know what you're going to say...I have dated men of all backgrounds.

 

lol it's all good. but see, that is my point! You can't try to be a woman who is a perfect 10 for all men. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. Makeup, showing skin, can change one to look more appealing in this society (which I agree is at times ****ed up - just watch the movie "She's All That"), but I think some women can show their sexiness when they just open their mouths. In your case, that could mean being more social or vocal with your thoughts and ideas. I don't know anything about you to suggest anything specific but maybe you can think of ways to reach out using your personal creativity...

 

Oh and I do think that Aaliyah looked killer as Akasha ;D

that is my favorite scene

[circlesinfinity]

lol it's all good. but see, that is my point! You can't try to be a woman who is a perfect 10 for all men. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. Makeup, showing skin, can change one to look more appealing in this society (which I agree is at times ****ed up - just watch the movie "She's All That"), but I think some women can show their sexiness when they just open their mouths. In your case, that could mean being more social or vocal with your thoughts and ideas. I don't know anything about you to suggest anything specific but maybe you can think of ways to reach out using your personal creativity...

 

Oh and I do think that Aaliyah looked killer as Akasha ;D

that is my favorite scene

See, I told you. Nice guys...all guys like a very very attractive woman. This is why I don't date anymore. I am not the jealous type, I was such a HUGE Aaliyah fan...along with Missy, Timbaland and Ginuwine.

 

 

It is just that when I go out on dates, I haven't met someone who hasn't looked at other women...I mean the way these men look at other beautiful women, you would think I came on the date in moo-moo, swollen feet and grease stains on my clothes.

 

 

I just don't get any man.

 

 

My last resort is talking to my counselor about this. I am glad it is a man. I may bring up me considering surgery and tell him my issues because I just really need to know what goes through a man's head when he sees or talks to me.

 

 

I just feel like this world for me is one big highschool. All the men go for the same women and I'm always overlooked, if I changed my look somewhere that won't happen...they may be intimidated like someone said in an earlier post but I am sure they will have a hard time passing me up or treating me bad on dates.

[Oli.]

Since when did facebook become a dating site, if you want to talk to guys then join OLD.

[bluefeather]

Since when did facebook become a dating site, if you want to talk to guys then join OLD.

 

Since when do people reply to threads without reading. If you had gone through page 2, you would see that this was already discussed.

[bluefeather]

My last resort is talking to my counselor about this. I am glad it is a man. I may bring up me considering surgery and tell him my issues because I just really need to know what goes through a man's head when he sees or talks to me.

 

I still don't understand that. Unless there is some kind of imperfection you want to "correct" I'm not sure what you're trying to get at.

[MidwestUSA]

Since when do people reply to threads without reading. If you had gone through page 2, you would see that this was already discussed.

 

Or he would have seen that, after eight years of OLD, I met my husband on Facebook!

[Oli.]

Since when do people reply to threads without reading. If you had gone through page 2, you would see that this was already discussed.

 

 

I might have been able to make it to page 2 if you hadn't been blabbering on about your personal life on page 1. I was addressing OP, if she wants to talk to guys then she should make a POF account and she can messages guys there without them thinking she is desperate or a creep. Actually she wouldn't even have to initiate contact as she would be flooded with messages from guys wanting to talk to her.

[bluefeather]

Or he would have seen that, after eight years of OLD, I met my husband on Facebook!

 

It seems like fb could've been a pretty good candidate for an online dating site. I wonder if in the future, OLD sites will take some kind of page from it. There's a lot more room for details (depending on what the person chooses to put out there), and better interaction (comments, groups, as well as PMs).

[Qboro90]

Awwww, there is HOPE

 

Ill start by saying you need to be more secure about yourself before other will see value in dating you or being friends with you. Your OP you said that you considered and thought of yourself as a beautiful woman yet in the multiple replies you've made you mention cosmetic surgery and wanting to look more like other celebrity women, or look like a perfect 10 in order to attract men.

 

As a man I can tell you that this will never work. You're never going to look like Aaliyah or Beyoncé no matter how much plastic surgery you have. You'll always be searching if you can't see your natural reflection as beautiful and something you're proud of. Trying to be a perfect 10 is never gonna happen. The perfect 10 for one guy can be a 5 for another guy. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Any girl who focuses on her looks and celebrity comparisons like you seem to comes off as unattractive in my experience. Very shallow and immature and that's not something that appeals to men.

 

Also when you message guys on Facebook I would leave you saying "would like us to be friends" or mentioning you think you should be friends with one another. That's an awkward thing to say and I would see it as a bit weird and desperate if I got that message. Keep it simple

 

"Hey, sorry for the random message/request, you just popped up on my feed and I noticed we had a lot in common...what's up? :)"

 

Or if you're starting school you can message guys that attend the same school or live in the local area with "hey, random but I just moved here to attend ___ university, trying to connect with people who go there/are local. What are you studying? Or any suggestions on fun places to go or things to do around town?"

[circlesinfinity]

Ill start by saying you need to be more secure about yourself before other will see value in dating you or being friends with you. Your OP you said that you considered and thought of yourself as a beautiful woman yet in the multiple replies you've made you mention cosmetic surgery and wanting to look more like other celebrity women, or look like a perfect 10 in order to attract men.

 

As a man I can tell you that this will never work. You're never going to look like Aaliyah or Beyoncé no matter how much plastic surgery you have. You'll always be searching if you can't see your natural reflection as beautiful and something you're proud of. Trying to be a perfect 10 is never gonna happen. The perfect 10 for one guy can be a 5 for another guy. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Any girl who focuses on her looks and celebrity comparisons like you seem to comes off as unattractive in my experience. Very shallow and immature and that's not something that appeals to men.

 

Also when you message guys on Facebook I would leave you saying "would like us to be friends" or mentioning you think you should be friends with one another. That's an awkward thing to say and I would see it as a bit weird and desperate if I got that message. Keep it simple

 

"Hey, sorry for the random message/request, you just popped up on my feed and I noticed we had a lot in common...what's up? :)"

 

Or if you're starting school you can message guys that attend the same school or live in the local area with "hey, random but I just moved here to attend ___ university, trying to connect with people who go there/are local. What are you studying? Or any suggestions on fun places to go or things to do around town?"

 

 

I know it is shallow...

 

 

My point is that I have always seen that I was beautiful but I haven't found others to see what I see. It get annoying. I mean really be attracted to me to the point where they are not being rude and looking at other women when we go out.

 

 

I am definitely not immature, I don't break my neck to look another cute guy when I am out with someone and I am respectful, etc. I feel like people who are good catches just should date in the first place.

 

 

I have been telling my family for years that I should not even bother with these guys and now they see what I am talking about. I mean you meet a woman who is genuine, there is nothing fake about her and you constantly screw her over. I am not immature, I am just dealing with the reality that maybe people don't see in me what I've always saw...that's where the frustration and anger lies...

 

 

It is ok though, I am getting therapy.