BelleSkye Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Just had a breakup and Im so alone, no support from family and friends....how does one cope???? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Firstly, you have to be a friend to yourself, which means taking the best care of yourself that you can. As a starting point, take care of your body, by eating enough, and eating healthy. Drink enough water - 2 liters a day for a male. Get enough rest. 9 hours of sleep would be best. If you can't sleep, just have a few periods of lying down. Get out of the house every day. Do some easy exercise. If you feel unwell, see your doctor. Keep up with your responsibilities and things you have to do. Don't drink or take drugs as a way of coping. They make things worse. You will be ok, but you'll probably feel unhappy for a while. Eventually you will be healed, and you'll move on. Take care. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlovahlovah Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Are your family and friends not supportive or you just don't feel comfortable sharing with them?. In any case we are here to listen 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BelleSkye Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 Thank you for the thoughtful replies I will not mind sharing my stories with friends and family but im the only one in the city 700km away from them and have a few acquaintances here In the city. My ex fiance was my everything Unfortunately. He is with his family right now, im all alone. Hope to move out real soon. Its hard though not having physical support. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Post here as often as you like. There is always someone here. I'd also recommend that you start journalling - just writing your thoughts and feelings down can be a real help. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Yes we are all here and have been through all manner of break ups. Share with us. Call your family on the phone or email them if you can. Like Satu said... take care of yourself first. I know how hard it can be when a break up happens. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Just had a breakup and Im so alone, no support from family and friends....how does one cope???? I'll be your friend! Eventually you get used to being alone which is actually a good thing. Once you can face the world by yourself and take care of yourself nobody can control you anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BelleSkye Posted October 7, 2015 Author Share Posted October 7, 2015 Thank you guys. Ironic thing is that I have pneumonia right now, a very energetic puppy who needs attention and im all alone here. Wheezing a lot, battling to breath, and I did reach out to a few work colleagues. No one can make it. I feel eextremely lonely. I wish I had company. I go through bouts of anxiety, fear and disbelief. Link to post Share on other sites
BrokenManAgain Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 New guy here and in same boat as you. What I will give you will not solve your problems. It will not heal you. It will do crap all for you in the long run. But it will take the edge of the sting off and allows you minute to minute peace. Goto youtube and lookup meditation/hypnosis for whatever you want to avoid for the moment. The one I'm linking to you allowed me to sleep through the second night of my break up. It didn't do me crap all the first night because I was still so angry but I did feel a lot calmer. I've downloaded it and put it on a loop for all night. This was my only way to sleep for the past week. Be advised, this is a minute to minute tempoary solution. Once you stop listening to it, everything comes back like a storm but it does allow you to sleep. There is a self help guide that got me through the worst of my first heart break (I was punching walls with bleeding knuckles). FORGET YOUR EX IN 24 HOURS! It's a really good bandaide book. Bandaide. It doesn't solve your problems but it did allowed me to to start functioning again. I bought it for $5US and it can be downloaded but the author has made it for free on some sites. I'm a man, so this may not work for you but it's mainly self affirmation. For my first heartbreak, I kept saying to myself "Buck up, man up, stand up." You may find other affirmations that may help you to break the pain. At the end of the day, you need to start loving yourself and I learned that now, You don't need nor want anyone else. It's more fun to travel your life with someone else but it is still your life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BelleSkye Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 Its getting harder each day with the isolation. Having this pneumonia is also not helping. I will try your methods but the embarrasment and betrayal is getting to me Link to post Share on other sites
DirtyBerty Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Maybe try reading a self help book and go to counselling if you're well enough. Also might be worth speaking to your doctor. I did and they helped me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BelleSkye Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 Did go to the doctor. He even gave me urbanol (anti anxiety med). It just hurts that he has his family support and Im all alone. So much to do as well. I want to leave the country because of the loneliness and break up. I have more support in new Zealand than here in South Africa. Just finding the energy to move forward constructively is overwhelming. Link to post Share on other sites
DirtyBerty Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Did go to the doctor. He even gave me urbanol (anti anxiety med). It just hurts that he has his family support and Im all alone. So much to do as well. I want to leave the country because of the loneliness and break up. I have more support in new Zealand than here in South Africa. Just finding the energy to move forward constructively is overwhelming. I see. That's a really difficult situation and I really feel for you. I wish I could help but not sure how. Have you tried speaking to friends and family on the phone? Are there any social events or anything at all like that where you could turn up and at least try and speak to some people? Are you well enough to go shopping to at least chat to someone at the supermarket till even for a minute or two? Surrounding yourself with other people may help a bit even if you're not taking to them? Can you Skype people and text people and friends? Join other forums that are about your favourite TV shows maybe? Sorry I know these aren't amazing ideas that with solve the problem but I'm trying to think of things you could do that will at least give you some human contact. Even if it helps you feel 1% better that's something good isn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
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