Should I be cool with my girlfriend smoking weed with random guys at bars?

[RecentChange]

Just adding- I have gone out back, or to a car with a guy to smoke weed lots of times and it never meant anything / led any where.

 

My BF doesn't really smoke - but has "sent" me off with his friends to smoke at times as well (hey, if you want to smoke go with Chris to his car).....

[Darren Steez]

I don't see a problem with this, unless marijuana is illegal in your State?

 

I'd love a few puffs on a spliff myself right now.

I like how smoking reefer in a car suddenly turns to she's capable of doing other things.. *hint hint*

 

Let's flip this. Guy meets friendly girl, she's really friendly, they hang out, talk, start to date. Friendly girl goes out to bar with friends and is herself for most of the night..as in friendly. She chats to a guy..nothing goes on, she goes home and tells her dude about her night and dude gets upset that she was friendly with another guy.

 

She probably smoked weed before you met her, this is whom she might be..she likes a little reefer to relax. She was in a car with a dude and a girl..unless they are having a threesome then nothing to worry about. Also you didn't say how long they were in the car for? Seconds, a quick toke? Hours? Also this is not what she does all the time is it..she did it once, your headline is her going out with multiple dude to multiple bars..there you've gone and blown up something that may not be that big of an issue into a mountain size problem.

 

This says more about you than her.

[Stage5Clinger]

I like how smoking reefer in a car suddenly turns to she's capable of doing other things.. *hint hint*

 

I don't know, man.. this girl could have been at the guy's house and had to come up with something because she reeked of weed. That is speculation on my part but even if the story is true this girl's out partying with other dudes who are smoking her up. Girls always have a thing for guys who have drugs (if they are into that sort of thing). This girl is dangerous.

[VeveCakes]

I don't know, this is pretty common. I've done it myself many times. Sometimes it can be awesome to have someone offer you a smoke if you don't have any, especially at the bar. I would personally let it go and if it happens again and you are worried just relay your feelings.

[qubist]

You're right, what I probably should have said was "or do you think this is "appropriate space" in a relationship."

do not force yourself to accept more than what you can handle, everyone's red lines are different. if smoking pot with strangers in their car is beyond your tolerable red lines you should say something about it. here will come a test to your relationship. the compromise everyone talks about as must have in a successful relationship will be on test. if you can't compromise your standards to be able to tolerate such a behavior and she can't compromise to not do it anymore then you better end any serious plans for any possible future life between the 2 of you. otherwise if it pass the test, it could be an igniting test for a successful relationship.

if you can't see yourself tolerating her smoking pot at the bar or any other behavior you should let her know, nicely without accusation, just define your red lines that you don't want her to cross

[LifeNomad]

maybe you could say things to her like "really? you did that? weren't you scared? is that something you normally do? That's so crazy! I would never do that! What if they like decide to take advantage of you?"

 

Something in that sense mainly to gauge and get a feel to whether its normal, something new, whether it will happen again...

 

from there transition to and you can also say something like "you know I really don't think that's safe, I remember reading a story about a girl who got kidnapped that way" etc..and then close with a "do you think you can not get into a strangers car anymore?"

 

Don't make it about smoking weed, make it about her getting into the car to smoke with strangers. You can make up some story about back in the days you knew a girl who went to smoke with someone and ended up getting mugged or whatever.

 

 

that's if your a little afraid of telling her and want to be subtle about it. Or you can be straight up with her and tell her " I don't think Im comfortable with the idea of that"

 

 

I personally would not be cool with it. If they were both total strangers that is. If she knew at least 1 person it would be different, but still not totally cool with it, but hey at the end its your call.

Edited October 23, 2015 by LifeNomad

[GunslingerRoland]

I don't see why this would be anymore of an issue than your gf being in any other place with the couple. Or a man on his own, for a few minutes.

 

Doesn't sound like a cheating issue... sounds like something else. (Do you feel like she "owes a favor"?) Or do you not trust her under the influence of pot?

[smackie9]

Old thread. Last one was October 7th.