LoisLane13 Posted May 20, 2005 Share Posted May 20, 2005 O.k. I need some perspective on my situation...any input would be fantastic. My boyfriend moves away for his job for months at a time. We've been dating 7 months. When his job ends he comes back to stay with me. He's 8 years older than I am and I love the guy.....I've never had a long distance relationship before and I am so paranoid he is going to cheat on me...even though he is the nicest guy. He's never given me a reason to think that. My imagination is getting the better of me and I think I might end up sabotaging the relationship if I continue to think this way......does anyone else ever have this paranoia...I am not insecure....I think I'm just preparing myself for disappointment so if and when it happens, I won't be devastated.... Am I nuts... ? LoisLane13 Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted May 20, 2005 Share Posted May 20, 2005 Nutty as a Snickers bar! j/k j/k I don't think it is unusual to have worries or concerns about something like this. How long have you been with this guy? Has he gone away before? Do you know anything about his past relationship history? If he is the type of guy who has no past history of cheating, I don't think you have much to worry about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoisLane13 Posted May 20, 2005 Author Share Posted May 20, 2005 Well we've been dating 7 months, he is 31 and I am 24....he's been back and forth three times already....going away for a month and coming back for a few weeks....He's a frat boy at heart but he is also a good guy (I think)......I know he dated some french girl that broke his heart back in the day, but I really don't know much more than that...he is super weird about anything emotional.....he was social director of his frat in college that translates into "man Whore" to any girl with a brain. I dunno what to think....I tend to think I am so paranoid because I serioulsy can't deal with getting messed with. I think you are right....I am nutty.....but more like NUTRAGEOUS! Grrrrrrrrrr Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted May 20, 2005 Share Posted May 20, 2005 Ahh, there's a big line between promiscuous and cheater. I wouldn't worry Link to post Share on other sites
Illusion24 Posted May 20, 2005 Share Posted May 20, 2005 The first thing that makes a relationship work is TRUST. If you can't be that way because of the past he had or the reputation he's got. If he's with you, realize that it's for a reason. A man is not going to be with a woman if he doesn't want to be. Don't drive yourself crazy over this because it's going to make you emotionally f***ed up and then it's going to show in your voice when you talk to him. A man his age doesn't have time for little games...Like "oh my gosh are you cheating on me"... If he doesn't give you a reason to think that...don't! Link to post Share on other sites
Tyric Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Devildog Nutty as a Snickers bar! Hehe - FUNNY! I disagree with Never Say Never. Her advice is sound, but it wouldn't work for me I trust myself 100 percent. If I'm paranoid, there's a reason for that. It doesn't matter if it's right or wrong, if the person really has done something to offend me or not. If I feel paranoid, I detach myself from the situation immediatly. Why? Because there're tons of Ms. Rights running around who I know I won't kill hours or days or weeks worrying about. If you can make that much time away work, you should email the pope and let him know that you've performed a miracle! For me it's a black and white decision. Link to post Share on other sites
stargaze Posted May 28, 2005 Share Posted May 28, 2005 Why go after someone like him when there so many others like me QUOTE]Originally posted by Devildog Nutty as a Snickers bar! j/k j/k I don't think it is unusual to have worries or concerns about something like this. How long have you been with this guy? Has he gone away before? Do you know anything about his past relationship history? If he is the type of guy who has no past history of cheating, I don't think you have much to worry about. Link to post Share on other sites
gyfogurl321 Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 hey loislane.. well first i have to that ldr's absolutly suck.. ive been with my boyfreind for about 3 years now.. well its a much more complicated story.. lets just say we've had a real relationship for a year now. so one year out of highschool he deccided to go to school in the west. and i live on the east coast. we talk all the time. but he always leaves the girl parts out of stories. i mean come on now. i hang out with guy friends. he had to have mad girl friends. its just normal. but he says thats hnot important so he doesnt say nething. now im always going crazy over it nad i have become on of "those girls" as well.. wonderful. but the part that really bothers me is when he comes back in like 2 weeks. i want to go back to school with him for like the weekend. and he says he'll be too bussy and wont have time for me. cuz he goes to a computer prgramming scool there is alot of work invlolved. so we fight about it. and then he says " fine ****ing come then" o hi "****ing come then" doesnt sounds very nice. so then we fight again. im about to say **** it seriously. should he be happy to have me come visit? Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 What you're feeling is normal but not desirable. If you're going to be jealous, you're going to start unreasonable arguments, as you're aware yourself, and in that way destroy your relationship. Very wise of you to figure that yourself. I guess what matters in love is that the love lasts for long and that we never find out we were cheated on. I mean, if I could be happy with someone all my life and it turns out that he cheated on me at the beginning I would still NOT regret one day of my life. But this is just an artificial thesis. In reality men who are in love really don't cheat on their partners. If you believe in his love then simply choose to trust him and don't be suspicious. Block in advance all thoughts related to jealousy and suspicion. Gyfogurl, why don't you surprize him with a visit when you're on good terms? Tell him you missed him and wanted to surprize him. Go there on Friday evening and watch if he's going to call someone to cancel something without mentioning you, see how he behaves, if he's nervous, uncomfortable with your visit, etc. Meet his friends too. He won't be able to lie to everyone about you and have another girl there. Link to post Share on other sites
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