kgcolonel Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 We have been married for 32 years. Raised our son, got him educated and launched. All is well and now is our time. I am looking for ways to spice things up for us now that we're empty nesters. We have done some of the usual things but I am looking for ideas that would add that spark for us after 32 years together. Any ideas??? BTW we are committed to monogamy. Not interested in swinging.....No judgement just not on our menu. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I had a boyfriend take me a strip club. The last thing it did for me was add a spark to our relationship. Most women are not comfortable seeing others stripping and dancing; we compare ourselves to them too much. :eek: 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgcolonel Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 Got it, I kinda figured that too....any ideas? Thanks for the feedback. Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Loads of couples go to strip clubs together. I wouldn't do it personally. I don't go much, maybe once or twice a year. But that's a place to hang with my boys. Not that I would object if my wife really wanted to come with us. But she has never shown interest in this, and I know she wouldn't have a great time. I've invited her a couple times way back in the day, she declined and said that's a man thing. I'm always trying to get her to go out with some girls to a male nude club or whatever. She said it sounds gross haha. I can't argue with her on that. Have you tried in a movie theater? Or some other public place? That's always exciting!! Go to a terrible movie in the middle of the day and hope you're the only ones there. Then take advantage of the empty theater. Its best if its a newer one with the larger seats and fold up arm rests and stuff. Then you can really get comfortable while getting down. Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 In my single days, yeah I went to strip clubs. Since I've met my wife, no, not one. Not even on my bachelor party. Why? I guess I feel it isn't right anymore. There are a ton of things us men can do to relax and unwind without going to a strip club. I'm a husband and a father now, I don't have the desire to do it. So "no" for me. However, you are looking for some ideas. I videotape my wife a lot. Or take pictures. I haven't done this, but if you edit a picture and cut out her face you can post them on certain sites and message boards specifically for that. You'll get a lot of response and it might turn you on to know that there are others aroused by your wife's body. Again, you don't need to show her face for this. Or do it in places where you won't get caught, but there is still, say, a 5% chance of someone seeing you. That chance alone will turn you on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgcolonel Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 Clockwork, I am with you on the strip clubs with my wife as well. I probably should have thought more about the title of the thread. I like the direction you are headed though on the video as my wife is screamingly hot (at least I think so ) for a 5x year old mother. I have thrown out the idea of pictures and she's not up for that. We have talked about some "out in the country" outdoor fun and games so maybe we'll move in that direction. She does like to watch movies but the only problem there is she's good to watch for 5 minutes and then is ready to go.....sometimes I would like to watch a little longer to ramp up my engine a bit more. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I have always told my husband if he wanted to go to a strip club i would go with him. I would much rather go with him than him to go without me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Women go to strip clubs all the time (boob bars) ....so there's nothing 'wrong' with that but the bigger question is just would your wife enjoy it specifically. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgcolonel Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 You're right Jen. While G/G porn is exciting for her I am thinking it may be a bit overwhelming for her at this stage. I'm not looking engage a third party but just a little spice. Link to post Share on other sites
newlywedder Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Maybe watch the Better Sex video series together or look for new positions online. Going to a strip club objectifies women and may contribute to drug use. Several strippers are on drugs, which the club owners sell them. It becomes a slavery somewhat because they use the money they earn to buy drugs from the club owner. You don't want to participate in that, believe me. You sound like a great guy with a loving family. I'm not saying ALL strippers have this arrangement with club owners but it does happen. Stripping is a gateway to prostitution as well for lots of young girls. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Yeah strip clubs.... "Girls" don't do anything for me, but the atmosphere of sex can be fun. First time I had been to a strip club was with a bachelor party (I was the one girl in the group - very good guy friend was getting married). I found that the girls gave me tons of attention - as it was a fun / easy way to tease the guys (and get the bulls flowing I suppose!). I didn't feel uncomfortable around the girls.... And when I went home and told my boy friend about it he was obviously very excited by the idea..... So, we have been to strip clubs a few times together.I can't say that the strippers do anything for me - but the sexually charged energy / getting him super worked up do.... Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 You're right Jen. While G/G porn is exciting for her I am thinking it may be a bit overwhelming for her at this stage. I'm not looking engage a third party but just a little spice. Well if she likes women to some degree then I think it would actually be a good idea. Like RC said the ladies will probably fawn over her so that'll make her feel good. Plus it's actually a safe environment (as long as you don't go to a seedy club) where nothing is really 'expected' of her, but it's still pretty exciting. If you go I'd make two strong suggestions to protect her dignity - be the 'man with the cash' - give her money for tips and any dances she might get, just bc it doesn't look dignified for a woman to go digging thru her purse for tip money, and also do get her at least one lap dance. Reason for that is that women who go to strip clubs and don't get a dance tend to feel like they missed the boat - went to the ocean but didn't swim type thing. It doesn't have to be scary for her bc dancers are very familiar w/dancing for women now and they'll know what to do and how to make her comfy. Plus it happens in private so she won't be the subject of any of the other patrons' ogling. It would def be a spicy evening. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 I've been thinking about your thread, OP. How about an evening where you go to BOTH male and female strip clubs? See a little of both, compare and contrast, and spice things up from both angles? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 We have been married for 32 years. Raised our son, got him educated and launched. All is well and now is our time. I am looking for ways to spice things up for us now that we're empty nesters. We have done some of the usual things but I am looking for ideas that would add that spark for us after 32 years together. Any ideas??? BTW we are committed to monogamy. Not interested in swinging.....No judgement just not on our menu. Has she expressed interest in going to one? Ask her! I've been to the strip club with a boyfriend before. I'd definitely go with another bf or husband. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgcolonel Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 She has not explicitly said "let's go to a strip club" but she does get revved in watching GG porn and has stated that she'd be willing. Keep in mind that for me the idea of a strip club has kind of past its prime but might be exciting if we both went. I am post 50 and have done that and have several t-shirts. It would definitely be for the both of us as I can go anytime with the guys but choose not to as I have better ways to spend my money and things to do that I get more from. Thanks for the questions though as they are valid. Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 I've been thinking about your thread, OP. How about an evening where you go to BOTH male and female strip clubs? See a little of both, compare and contrast, and spice things up from both angles? I know that wouldn't work on my wife, nor I doubt most women. Of all the strip clubs in the world, probably about 2% of them are male strip clubs. If I tried to do a sexy strip dance for my wife, she would probably just laugh at me. When I'm working on my car, she's all over me. There is nothing attractive about a wiener haha. Women's body's are just naturally more attractive. I know I couldn't look at some dudes flapping their junk around and think sexual thoughts about my wife. I might not get a boner for weeks after something like that haha! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Strip clubs... Grrr... I knew a couple (can anyone here guess where this is going to go?). They were married and everything was ok between them. On their 25th anniversary they decided to celebrate with a bunch of friends, over a couple days, amongst which was going to strip clubs, Friday we went to a female strip club for him, then Saturday was her turn at a male strip club. Nothing happened on Friday night. We got plastered and wished our friend well. His wife was quiet. Turned out she didn't like it too much... the comments about women comparing themselves to the strippers was probably in operation... On Saturday we did the same for her. Again, nothing untoward (physical) happened. only when one really huge male stripper's jock 'broke' and the lady saw his piece, she commented "Oh my gosh I didn't know they made them that big - he's twice your size!" Hubby didn't take kindly to that comment. He said something to his wife comparing the female strippers boob size to hers and said "I guess we're in the same boat then" She got hurt and the party pretty much ended then and there. Now did this have anything to do with the fact that 3 years later they divorced? I dunno, but I suspect the nucleus of the problem was that night... I'd never take my wife to a strip club. Hopefully she'd have gotten her fill of such nonsense before I'd met her... Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Sounds like the wife in that story was just being a beach. She said something with the intention of hurting her husbands feelings. And he being an a hole had no issue saying something back to hurt her feelings. I bet they did this to each other over and over. The real reason they split. Not the strip clubs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgcolonel Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 That's exactly why I am asking on this. I probably mis-titled the thread. I am really looking for creative ways to spice things up for a monogamous couple who've been married for 33 years. We are not looking to involve a third party but also recreate the thrill in creative ways. Any and all ideas are really appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Women's body's are just naturally more attractive. Says you! :laugh: I know I couldn't look at some dudes flapping their junk around and think sexual thoughts about my wife. I might not get a boner for weeks after something like that haha! That is the point I was trying to make: Taking *some* women to a strip club where women are "flapping their junk" at their husband might have the exact same response that you would have. See my point there? Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Says you! :laugh: That is the point I was trying to make: Taking *some* women to a strip club where women are "flapping their junk" at their husband might have the exact same response that you would have. See my point there? I certainly see it. As stated my wife shows no interest in going to one either. I would also feel a little uncomfortable with her there tbh. Like, am I allowed to look in front of her? I would use some sort of three second count rule or something then force myself to look away Lol. No thanks for me. The real reason men wear sunglasses at the pool. Probably ladies too for that matter Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 (edited) I took a BF to a strip club before as a surprise one weekend (he's now an ex). I felt a bit overdressed (next to the women in hardly anything) and felt like the management didn't want women there but the dancers were all very nice to me. I like GG porn too. Oddly enough I didn't find it as erotic as porn. I took the BF to an all nude type place. My BF loved it. He said it wasn't so much the other women but the thought I would do that and the bragging rights. I remember we had a good time once we got home. As for spicing up your love life, how about a trip to a sex store? I always found it fun to pick out toys to try. Another idea is do you think she'll go for sex play outside the house? Many guys have loved it when I've initiated public sex or car sex. It's exciting the thought of getting caught. Edited October 15, 2015 by Miss Peach 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgcolonel Posted October 16, 2015 Author Share Posted October 16, 2015 Miss Peach, That's exactly the kind of input I am looking for. We have ventured into the sex toy arena and she has "really" enjoyed it. I am all up for outside the house action.....we have some country side property that maybe a "picnic", bottle of wine then some sparks may fly...who knows.... thanks 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 I'm a pretty vanilla, considered very attractive but a little (or lot) insecure kind of lady. I'd never want to do anything extreme like swinging, 3ways, stripping, public really. It would have to be 'us' & no sharing or vid sharing. You need to know her 'line' between sexy & embarrassing, her body confidence etc before choosing. As a one off special treat do you have the spare funds for a long weekend in Amsterdam? I'm from Europe. I can seem a little conservative because I believe what happens behind closed doors between a husband & wife should stay that way. In my experience there's something a little nasty about USA clubs. Drugs are common & the control, objectification of women stops it being a real treat or turn on for me as it gets my social politics engine running! Sex on my soap box isnt very comfortable! Cant think of much good other than the sexually charged enviroment as already discussed. Amsterdam is full of history & beauty with a tragic past. If you're romantics who like escapism it's a beautiful venue. The Red Light District has a 'Moulin Rouge' risqué vibe. There's an artistic ambience to the city for me (I'm a hapless romantic). You can choose how far down the rabbit hole you want to go. The sex museum is interesting to say the least. Some of the sex shows are actually funny in that cute couple embarrassed but a little naughty way. It's a great mix of European true history, art, literature & romance. Then there's the pot & porn side of things. If its in your budget it go for it! A little more concervative, true romance (FAR more EXPENSIVE) option is Paris & the actual Moulin Rough. (subtly sexy more classic sex romantic but you're squashed in) At home I'm a picnic, horse ride to a beautiful view, soft grass girl but that's just me & I've NEVER had a man do that. I think floating around on a boat, close to others whilst completely isolated, laying down with champagne & a soft blanket is 'tame' sexy & a naughty turn on when the isolation bubble bursts & you realize you've been lost in eachother as you drift closer to shore is a long term (triggering in the nicest sexy way) sexy thought in a naughty way. Getting dressed-up & having an afrodysiac finger food meal with candles & cool music is nice & fun. No touching, other than with/feeding food until the meal is over!! Quite a while ago we watched some 'educational' sexy videos. There were 'instructor' hippy, regular people demonstrating moves etc. I know it sounds cheesy but it was actually one of hose things you couldn't get all 'objectification of women' or 'I will Never look like THAT! Is that what he wants now? About. It was a fun turn on AND EDUCATIONAL!!! :eek::) I like bubble baths too! I wanted to offer some tamer suggestions 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgcolonel Posted October 16, 2015 Author Share Posted October 16, 2015 This is awesome input We actually have an instructional video and I agree with you on the objectification however she prefers the porn to the instructional videos. We actually sent our son to Europe during his high school days with the starting point being Amsterdam. Damn our kid got to go where we have never been. That is a great idea!! We are fully monogamous so any third party is off the table. Car fun is something that could also be fun. We used to have a boat and did enjoy a few intimate late nights on the lake. Link to post Share on other sites
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