See how it goes

[nellbell86]

Certainly not any kind of reconciliation story (yet!) but I wanted to start a thread I can update if anything else happens. It's been 3 months since our break up, most of that time spent with me texting, calling, going to see him, doing everything and anything to get him back. At first he'd reply every now and then, then very rarely, then not at all. It ended up with him saying we couldn't talk anymore, I'm too 'into this' and we need to move on. I sent him a long heartfelt apology for my actions post break up, he asked for space and I never gave it to him, telling him how much I loved him and wish for all the best for him, and maybe someday we might speak again.

 

Now I'm not reading into anything AT ALL, but I've noticed this past week I've texted him twice, just about dropping off a few things to him, and when I act indifferent, almost cold in the texts, he actually responds. Last one was yesterday, I just said "Can I bring those things to you tomorrow" he replied "No, sorry, maybe next week" I just said "Ok".

 

I don't want to go complete NC as I don't think that will work, but I'm not going to text him again for a few weeks, if he wants me to drop those things next week like he said then he can contact me. Just funny how all the emotional, heartfelt, I love you and cant live without you messages went unanswered, but the moment I stop talking that way and act indifferent, I get a response.

 

I love him very much and of course would like to work things out, but I feel like I'm getting to the point now where I'm ready to work on me and not revolve my world around getting him back.

[ScienceGal]

Have you considered that he is not answering the emotional and heartfelt messages because he no longer feels that way about you? He was quick to answer the message about dropping items off, because it has nothing to do with repairing your relationship, in fact, it's another step in the breaking up process.

 

You seem to have a high level of hope, and I would hate to see you set yourself up so high only to be disappointed.

[buck3200]

If, as I did, you do something that rightfully causes the break-up, once you show you are sincerely sorry, all you can do is leave the ball in the others court.

 

My GF's favorite quote was "if you love someone, let them go, if they come back they are yours, if not, they never were" I knew we were not done. It took 9 yrs. to happen, but she came back.

[nellbell86]

I didnt do anything terrible to cause the break up like cheat or anything, no. I can be overbearing and clingy, I know this and have been working on why and correcting this. My ex is young and ours was his first 'real' relationship, where he'd fallen in love, talking about moving in, etc. Along the way though, what I saw as encouraging him in life, getting his license, progressing in his work, cutting down his weed smoking, (growing up!) he didn't like so much, and felt like I was trying to change him. I loved him as he was, but could see so much potential in him to do more with himself, and I guess he wasn't ready for that. Hes proven it since by slipping right back into his old, smoking 24/7, sleeping all day, barely going to work ways. It makes me so sad to see him doing that to himself, but there's nothing I can do about it, and he doesnt have much other support around him to actually encourage him to get out of it unfortunately.

 

Another thing happened today, he blocked me on FB a while ago, but today requested to follow me on Instagram. My profile is private so you can only see my posts if you're a friend. I have no idea why he would request to follow me if he doesn't want anything to do with me?! I left it a couple of hours before accepting. I haven't texted him regarding it, I think he'd be expecting a reaction (as I texted him when I found out he'd blocked me on FB). He still looks at all my snapchat posts also. Maybe a sign he wants to see what I'm up to through my posts, who knows, I could read into it and drive myself insane. At the moment I'll just let him do his thing, leave him be for a while and go from there. It's his birthday tomorrow, his 21st, I had so many big plans to spoil him for the weekend that he knew about, I have no doubt they'll be on his mind. I'm going to say happy birthday, but that is all. I've chased and made an idiot of myself for too long, he knows where I stand, he knows I love the hell out of him and am not giving up on him, but now it's up to him if he wants to put in the effort to get back the best woman he's ever had (thats not me being big headed, his exes were shocking people).

[goldway90]

"I can be overbearing and clingy, I know this and have been working on why and correcting this"

 

You are not working on it, you are still clingy by texting him too much and chasing. Back off for a while, NC isn't about making the relationship work again, it's about moving on and improving your life. He's not interested, seriously you are reading too much into it like this one here "when I act indifferent, almost cold in the texts, he actually responds"

[lookin ahead]

You seriously need to just take a FULL step back. Your forcing too much on to him, let him breathe. I know its hard to accept the break up and sadly breakups are rough and it really sucks that your going through this, but your a bit obsessive. Just block him, ignore him, don't text him!! no contact is no contact, your actions are really unhealthy and preventing you from healing and your only pushing him more away. Just do you and work on you, and better yourself. I know at times its hard but little by little each day is better than the next as long as you remain no contact otherwise its like a drug whats the point of quitting if your getting a taste every other day in this case you reaching out or looking in to it.