Problem Talking to Girls

[blue16]

Today I was sitting down at the bus stop before heading to school, listening to some music, and this girl came by and stood near me...and was somewhat facing in my direction. I thought something was up as everyone was standing apart from each other, being that we were all strangers to each other. Maybe it was just a coincidence....but of all places she chose to stand like right next beside me. I kinda glanced at her, she was pretty good looking. I really wanted to talk to her as I thought her bein close and facing me maybe she wanted me to notice her.

 

The problem isn't really in knowing what to say, starting a conversation isn't too hard. But for some reason if I don't really have an excuse to talk to the girl, I kind of have a fear that the girl will know that I am interested in her and I don't want that for whatever reason (ya I know i'm a big p*ssy.) Like if something happened at the bus stop I could point out, that would be an excuse to talk to her. But if there are no obvious conversation openers I feel very nervous about being friendly to her because I think she will know it is a pickup attempt. Situations similar to this have happened other occasions as well, and every instance I do nothing....and there comes a time when one gets sick of missing opportunities!

 

Any thoughts, advice, experiences? I'm all ears.

[L_and_P21]

just say hi. its better than nothing. i know its really hard to talk to someone that you think might take your talking to them as you liking them. let alont talking to someone if you really dont want to talk to them. i remember there was a time, my senior year of high school, when my friends sister called me a jerk off for not talking to her. i never said one word to her cept the one time i went to lunch with her and my friend. man do i regret not talking to her. she is a hottie. i liked her too, which adds to my regret like no other. i had a whole year to talk to this girl and she was in some of my classes too. i still kickin myself 2 years after graduation

 

yeah so when ever you get the oppertunity just say hi and maybe make a comment on the day or the weather maybe even ask her if shes heading to school, if so talk to her about what classes shes talking or something thats going on at school.

[BrotherAaron]

What would you say if, instead of a cute girl, a guy you think you might like to know walked up 5 feet away from you and just stood there? She's just another person, just like anyone else, and if she stood that close to you there's a good chance that she actually wants to talk to you. Just start talking about something, or nothing, who cares. Even if she was put off by you, and didn't want to talk to you anymore, that'd be more conversation than you'd get if you never talked to her to begin with.

[tokyo]

When your eyes meet, give her a big smile. I usually return a genuine smile with a smile myself. Even if she was not interested in you, she'll like it. I would not try too hard to impress her though. Smile, look at her again, see if she's looking back at you, if she does, continue to flash her a nice smile,. If she smiles and looks at you, she likes you (I'm not saying that she's attracted to you already, ok?) Then say: "Hi, my name is xxxx." Shake hands. Do some chit-chat, ask in which class she is, etc. I think if she seems to be very interested in you (You could have been right and she did intentionally put herself next to you with intention. If that is the case, she'll smile a lot and look at you, hoping that you will ask her out for a date.), you can ask if she wants to have come coffee with you, something casual, to continue talking. If you're not sure, see if she gets close to you again the next couple of times you're in the bus, chit-chat with her again (preferably about many things, you want to keep her interested and entertained) and if she doesn't seem to mind it, then ask her out. I think if you're with the right person, you won't have to wonder so much if she wants you to ask her out or not, it will come naturally. Most of the times when you sit there and wonder if there is mutual attraction, you can bet there is none.

 

Don't start to get anxious about it beforehand. She's just a girl and nervous as well. Enter the bus, think how great your life is, how wonderful this day is, think how happy you are with yourself, and when she looks at you, just think that's great that someone is looking at you and acknowledging your presence. Give her a smile back. It always surprises me how good it feels when someone from the anonymous crowd just looks at me and smiles.

 

 

Good luck

[blackpool-lad]

you think you've a problem, I'm 29, and although there's absolutely nothing wrong with me, I too lacked, or still lack the confidence to approach girls, or even as you say, just chat to someone thats stood next to you.

Based on this, I'm not exactly in a position to offer advice, but all I would say is you're a good number of years younger than me, and the time to practice.

I'm only now in a position where I've just about got the confidence to start trying to do the same myself, and I too had got annoyed at not bieng able to create relationships by myself, I've tried newspaper adverts, but they only attract the wrong sort of girl. The ones you want are the ones you meet when you're out and about.

 

Good luck.

 

Please let me know, I'd be interested to know what reaction you get as you start to chat to girls a little more

 

Cheers - Paul

[Brenaldo]

I have the same problem, i'm at the point where i just say "hey" to random people, do that to everyone, then when it's a hot chick, it isn't so hard, my problem is keeping the conversation going... =(. "Hey whats up?" best opener... then your at the bus stop, i dunno talk abuot school, and stuff.