Meli22 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 The first few weeks are the hardest then it just becomes normal! It's been around 6 months for me. It was about 5 months and then he followed me on Twitter, messaged to say it was an accident and that was that. Link to post Share on other sites
louxor Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 If I were in your position I would try and take comfort in the fact that she has downgraded from you to him (both in physical looks and intellectual capacity), and also that because she cheated on you and her bf before you, chances are she'll repeat old habits and cheat on this new guy too when she gets bored. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I'm starting this diary to get support from you guys and support myself into doing strict no contact. I texted her today just to tell her that she still had several things here at my apartment and that eventually I'm going to need my things back. I didn't expect a response because over the weekend I basically told her to get lost and forget about me. So tomorrow will start day 1 of no contact. I get your intentions here, but you just text her about your stuff and her stuff so this might not be the best time to try and start your NC. What if she texts you back later today or in a week about the stuff? Are you now just not going to reply? I think if you truly want to start strict NC, you should text her back and tell her to forget about your stuff and you'll mail her stuff to her and tell her not to try and contact you again. That's what you should do before you try to start strict NC imo. Link to post Share on other sites
Draper Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 If I were in your position I would try and take comfort in the fact that she has downgraded from you to him (both in physical looks and intellectual capacity), and also that because she cheated on you and her bf before you, chances are she'll repeat old habits and cheat on this new guy too when she gets bored. Yeah, that. I'm of the mind that any relationship which begins on dishonesty is pretty much doomed from the get-go anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xidion Posted September 29, 2015 Author Share Posted September 29, 2015 I get your intentions here, but you just text her about your stuff and her stuff so this might not be the best time to try and start your NC. What if she texts you back later today or in a week about the stuff? Are you now just not going to reply? I think if you truly want to start strict NC, you should text her back and tell her to forget about your stuff and you'll mail her stuff to her and tell her not to try and contact you again. That's what you should do before you try to start strict NC imo. She had the chance to reply to me and set a date to get her stuff.. it's a lot of stuff, too. She didn't. I know her all too well, the times she HAS spoken to me, she has told me she wants me. Now she's not initiating contact because I told her I would show her now bf the texts she's been sending me so she is silent. She's keeping her stuff her as a way to be connected to me when things go sour in her current situation so she has a reason to talk to me again. Same reason she has ignored my attempts of getting my things back including a key to my apartment... Anyway. Day 1 of no contact complete. It's hardest whilst I'm at work, because she would text my email all day long at work. Weird not getting those anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xidion Posted September 29, 2015 Author Share Posted September 29, 2015 Long story short. Gf left me after an argument and got back with her ex. (She's one of those type that just can't be alone). Anyway, She hasn't talked to me for 4 days, probably because I told her that if she does keep talking to me I'd show him the texts. She kept telling me she didn't want this and she dug herself into this huge hole etc.. anyway.. She still has a key to my apartment that she hasn't returned and some of my music CD's that are precious to me because they are autographed. She still has a lot of things here.. few clothing items, softball bat, helmet, gloves, her high school diploma, cap and gown, and some gifts from her graduation. Curious as to why she is ignoring the topic to exchange belongings. Link to post Share on other sites
louxor Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Long story short. Gf left me after an argument and got back with her ex. (She's one of those type that just can't be alone). Anyway, She hasn't talked to me for 4 days, probably because I told her that if she does keep talking to me I'd show him the texts. She kept telling me she didn't want this and she dug herself into this huge hole etc.. anyway.. She still has a key to my apartment that she hasn't returned and some of my music CD's that are precious to me because they are autographed. She still has a lot of things here.. few clothing items, softball bat, helmet, gloves, her high school diploma, cap and gown, and some gifts from her graduation. Curious as to why she is ignoring the topic to exchange belongings. If she didn't still have any of the stuff that was important to you, I would say just message her and tell her "Your stuff is out the front of my place, if you want it come get it, or get someone to get it for you - It's all going in the trash next time the garbage is collected if it's still here by then" However, if these CD's are very important to you then you want to avoid pissing her off to much just so she doesn't go into a rage and break them or something - It is a bit of a sticky situation. If you have any mutual friends, I would ask one of them to show up at her place and get them back for you. Same goes for the key, either that or just change the locks. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 She knows how important are those thing for you ....she's trying to mess with your mind. It's not worth it cut your losses and that's it. Same thing happened to me when my ex dumped me, I had alot of things at her place, but there was no way to get them back because I didn't want to interact with her in anyway and she never tried to contact me to give them back....it is what it is...some people just dont care 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Put her stuff at the curb. Text her to hurry because if she doesn't it may be picked up by people passing by. The CDs I would figure she won't return them. Have the house re keyed. Better safe than sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Put her stuff at the curb. Text her to hurry because if she doesn't it may be picked up by people passing by. The CDs I would figure she won't return them. Have the house re keyed. Better safe than sorry. Dont text her, never text her.....NEVERRRRRRRR 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 You are allowing her to control your life. She knows this and will continue to play with you as long as you allow it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 (edited) Make a list of things, and have a mutual friend/acquaintance go get them for you, and bring her things in a box to exchange. It's always nice for the box to include a sealed #10 envelope with her name handwritten on the outside, and the envelope will contain a one page note written on plain, unlined 8 1/2 X 11 sheet of paper. Your note should contain one word, written in normal handwriting, in blue ink: Goodbye. Edited September 30, 2015 by mightycpa Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Put her stuff at the curb. Depending on where you live, this may be illegal. Put all her stuff in a box, e-mail her saying you need to arrange a time to give her stuff back and to get yours back. Make a list of your things that you want returned. Give 3 dates/times that are good for you and ask her to choose. Tell her she can come to pick them up or you can drop them off at a location of her choosing. Do not go in for a chat/coffee/whatever, just swap boxes over the doorstep and leave. And change the locks ASAP! Who knows if she has made copies of your key, and who she may have given them to? If she comes in and gets her stuff while you're at work, then you're never going to see your things again. At least while you have her stuff, you have collateral to get yours back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xidion Posted September 30, 2015 Author Share Posted September 30, 2015 Little update. Reached out to her again today. Basically said that I would appreciate it if she stopped ignoring me long enough for us to exchange belongings. Even offered to arrange something where she leave my things at her mom's and I drop her things off there so we don't have to see one another. Still nothing out of her. As I stated before, the things she has of kine are albums that are signed by my favorite band. I met them in person and they signed them for me. They are from a different country. Not something I'm willing to just part with. Not really sure what to do. Not that really care, but is there a motive behind her not wanting to do this? Link to post Share on other sites
louxor Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Little update. Reached out to her again today. Basically said that I would appreciate it if she stopped ignoring me long enough for us to exchange belongings. Even offered to arrange something where she leave my things at her mom's and I drop her things off there so we don't have to see one another. Still nothing out of her. As I stated before, the things she has of kine are albums that are signed by my favorite band. I met them in person and they signed them for me. They are from a different country. Not something I'm willing to just part with. Not really sure what to do. Not that really care, but is there a motive behind her not wanting to do this? If you had a bad break up then i'd assume she's doing it to spite you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Have a friend drop them off at her Mom's house. You can assume you'll never get your things back. Sometimes life goes that way. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Have a friend drop them off at her Mom's house. You can assume you'll never get your things back. Sometimes life goes that way.Better yet, go see the Mom. Explain the problem to her, and tell her that all you want to do is get your stuff back. Mom'll get 'er done. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Yes, if you're friendly with her mom, that would probably be your best hope. Ask her mom to arrange her daughter to drop your things off there, and when you go to pick them up, you'll drop off her things. If that fails then you'll unfortunately need to write your belongings off as casualties of the breakup. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xidion Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 Get on youtube and search for Corey Wayne. He is a life coach with hundreds of newsletter videos where he answers emails from people in similair situations as us. This has been helping me tremendously. Not only does he have great takes on relationships and how to act, but life in general and how to become the best version of yourself. You must participate in your own rescue. Start now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Whatever you do, you do it for yourself and not with hopes that it will get your ex back. Do it for you and it's a win win. Do it just for her and it will be a waste of time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xidion Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 I miss the person she was when we first met. Before we were even together. The way we interacted, the chemistry we had, the sexual tension, the flirting. I miss our first kiss and how she looked at me. I miss how things were when we are head over heels in love. I don't miss all over her lying. I don't miss the way I was treated for those terrible 2 weeks of knowing something wasn't right. I don't miss when I found out she cheated. I don't miss how I felt for the last 3 months of our relationship after she cheated. I don't miss her not being there for me when I was down with thoughts running through my head. I don't miss giving my all and getting back nothing. I miss the person she used to be. Link to post Share on other sites
preco Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I know what you mean. The same happened to me over 4 weeks ago. I wanted to Mary here. Time will heal it. Live you life to the fullest and you will be ok. Go NC ,find hobbies, friends. Have fun, life is great and yes I now how it f... hurts but you will be stronger better after this. For me I know I have to become a better me. The whole life I'h been chasing women and when I finely found that special ... Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 What is your current status? Are you still in contact and where do you see her head to be in this? Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I don't miss anything. Im heartless. Link to post Share on other sites
sowhynot Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I miss the person I was when I was with her..... Link to post Share on other sites
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