casey.lives Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 'You're gone. As suddenly as you came to me; Like nightfall followed dawn, without a day between' ....swooooon Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I think you miss the person she was pretending to be. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 That girl doesn't exist anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xidion Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 I think you miss the person she was pretending to be. I think you hit the nail right on the head. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xidion Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 I have confidence I will get my things back. I'm pretty sure she will want the things she has here. She's kind of crazy. I would bet it's so she has an excuse to contact me later on. Link to post Share on other sites
Christos Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I have confidence I will get my things back. I'm pretty sure she will want the things she has here. She's kind of crazy. I would bet it's so she has an excuse to contact me later on. This. After my break up, my ex had some gadgets of mine that i really like and have some sentimental value to me. I have asked them back plenty of times. After a few months, she finally told me: "If i ever find myself in a good mood, i might consider returning your stuff to you". Verbatim. "Good mood" means, if she ever needs a second chance, she will return those as a tool to see me again. I have decided, that although i want my stuff back, i will never see them again. I won't give her a chance to ruin my heart again. She can keep them as a memento of the heart she stubbed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 The question is, how long are you going to let her be in control of your emotional state and prevent you from moving forward? You are allowing yourself to remain stuck. For how long? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xidion Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 The question is, how long are you going to let her be in control of your emotional state and prevent you from moving forward? You are allowing yourself to remain stuck. For how long? I'm just not sure how to handle it. I've tried arranging something. I've talked to her sister. Her sister said she won't respond to her about the subject. My only real option is to keep her things as collateral and forget about it for now. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 you are her puppet, I bet she must love it how you're reaching out to all of her family and friends and wondering... and they are all covering up for her when you grow some balls, you'll put all of her stuff in a box and either burn it or ship it to a neutral third party. Cut your losses NOW and disappear. I bet she won't expect that move and it will drive her crazy. And the cherry on the cake? NC will massively help you get closure. cheers Link to post Share on other sites
RIPolaris Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 I think you miss the person she was pretending to be. Agreed. Sometimes it's not the person that we miss, it's the illusion of the person we thought they were, who they were pretending to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Agreed. Sometimes it's not the person that we miss, it's the illusion of the person we thought they were, who they were pretending to be. Or who we WANTED them to be. I think we are sometimes just as guilty of ignoring red flags and trying to force the proverbial square peg in the round hole. In those cases, it's not so much that they deceived us as it is we deceived ourselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xidion Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 Had one of those days where no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't focus on the bad.. just kept thinking about all the good things. Have felt short of breath at times and having a bit of anxiety. Dealing with a tremendous sense of being lonely. I texted her today and told her that I would be throwing her remaining things away if she didn't get them within the next 7 days. I just want all reminders of her gone. The one things I'm having a hard time dealing with is this... We worked together for 1 year before dating. She was the person I talked to about my previous relationship. She was so understanding and related to me in a lot of ways. She chased me and wanted me. She made me feel like we were meant to be.. only to cheat on me. I just don't get it... Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Yeah, man it's hard the first couple of weeks. You're better off deleting her number, boxing up her **** and leaving it by the curb. That is unless you're thinking of opening up a storage rental business. The more you talk to her the worse you'll feel. You need to cut her out completely and you'll think about her less and less. Try to fall for someone already in your life and dream about them Link to post Share on other sites
louxor Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Had one of those days where no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't focus on the bad.. just kept thinking about all the good things. Have felt short of breath at times and having a bit of anxiety. Dealing with a tremendous sense of being lonely. I texted her today and told her that I would be throwing her remaining things away if she didn't get them within the next 7 days. I just want all reminders of her gone. The one things I'm having a hard time dealing with is this... We worked together for 1 year before dating. She was the person I talked to about my previous relationship. She was so understanding and related to me in a lot of ways. She chased me and wanted me. She made me feel like we were meant to be.. only to cheat on me. I just don't get it... Every has their good days and their bad when going through a break up - This is just one of those bad days. It's okay to be sad, much better to let it all out than keep it in. That was a good thing you did with her things - having them out of the house will help you a lot. As for the last bit, most people in similar situations will find that they never get a true, straightforward answer or reason as to why the person cheated. It's extremely frustrating but that's just how it is. However, don't let the final act undermine the feelings that were there before. At one stage she did feel those ways about you, just not anymore. This stuff happens in life, people's feelings change - we have to pick ourselves up and move forward as best we can with each new day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xidion Posted October 7, 2015 Author Share Posted October 7, 2015 Still in a battle with my ex about her getting all of her things from my place. I packed all of her stuff into my car and called her workplace on my lunch break from work. I told her I could just bring it to her work once I'm off and we could put it in her car.. she said no, that she wanted to pick it up from my place. She also said that she had my CD's that I value and that she would give me a call when she got off work. She has been off work for an hour.. no call. Anyone know why she would be putting this off? It's like she WANTS to keep her things at my place. Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Mail her things to her instead of giving them the toss. Consider things she has of yours simply just lost. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Still in a battle with my ex about her getting all of her things from my place. I packed all of her stuff into my car and called her workplace on my lunch break from work. I told her I could just bring it to her work once I'm off and we could put it in her car.. she said no, that she wanted to pick it up from my place. She also said that she had my CD's that I value and that she would give me a call when she got off work. She has been off work for an hour.. no call. Anyone know why she would be putting this off? It's like she WANTS to keep her things at my place. Right. If she's not playing ball, I suggest you do as you had decided in the first place. Package them up, take them to her work, and tell the receptionist it's a delivery for...whatever her name is. Then, just leave. Next, get a friend to call on her when you know she will be home, and tell your friend to collect your CD's. Don't play this all her way, you just end up being the patsy...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xidion Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 She called back today and set a time to get her stuff.. she left about 15 minutes ago. She actually had the audacity to bring him with her... But I kept my cool, said very few words and acted like I didn't care at all. Inside I'm a bit shook up from seeing her in person.. But I will live. Now I can focus on putting this 5 month roller coaster ride behind me and better myself as a person and a man. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Yes that does sound done and over. Bringing the guy with her just to enforce the fact she is done with you and also to make sure there's no getting in to it about the past relationship. You now have closure as there is absolutely nothing there and can now move forward with your life. I'm glad this is finally done for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xidion Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 Yes that does sound done and over. Bringing the guy with her just to enforce the fact she is done with you and also to make sure there's no getting in to it about the past relationship. You now have closure as there is absolutely nothing there and can now move forward with your life. I'm glad this is finally done for you. I didn't need to know if she was done with me or not. I'm done with HER. She's toxic and a cheater. Link to post Share on other sites
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