Apparition Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Have any of you actually gone at it again with an ex and been better than the first time with them? Like did things improve? Also, why did you break-up and how did you guys reconnect again? Link to post Share on other sites
drseuss Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I got with my ex things were ok for the first couple months , her ex reapers and we broke up . 1 week later she was back , we lasted for 4 more months and she still wasn't over her ex ...... wish I never went back the first time , was a bit mistake because it had made this second break agony 1 Link to post Share on other sites
singme2sleep Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I'm torn between having some hope he'll come back and killing all hope at the same time. All I know is I'm miserable without him. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 (edited) I got back with the ex (he was the dumper) after 2 weeks apart, when he begged me to take him back. He was awesome the first 2 weeks. Then it became about me having to "pass" tests that his friends and son were throwing at me. He started taking me for granted, etc., and it was actually worse than the worst that happened that had led to our first break-up. He then walked out on me, out of the blue, a week after a disagreement. The day before, he had baked a banana bread and brought it to me, had told me he loved me, etc. It was all fake, he was doing it to blindside me and hurt me. It was his revenge, I think, because the first time around, I stopped begging him to come back after a few attempts to beg failed. I will never ever take him back, or any man who dumps me. We lasted a month to the dot, after our reconciliation. He has now blocked me on facebook, etc., as if I am the crazy one, the one who hurt him, etc. It is ****ed up. His best female friend got him to break up with me. But I blame him for it. Fully. He broke up the first time because he could no longer take the "suffering" I was putting him through, by bringing up things I was unhappy about, and because we were then having fights about it. He said he could not sleep at night because of me. He emailed me 2 weeks after the break-up, a one-liner, saying, are you happy you ruined me? I replied, saying that it had been his choice and that I hope he will be at peace with his choice some day, and he immediately replied and begged for me to take him back. We met up 10 days later (I wanted some time between that communication and an actual meet-up) and we reconciled. I took him back. Naively and stupidly! He then dumped me a second time a week ago, saying that I was making him suffer and that he could not sleep, and that he was choosing his friends over me. Edited October 16, 2015 by NoMoreJerks Link to post Share on other sites
singme2sleep Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 I believe in second chances. Just wish I knew if my relationship was going to get one, but only time will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
Bufo Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 I learned this lesson many years ago as a college kid. Had gf in year 3. Broke up since I thought she was crazy. In fall of year 4 had a small class together. Resisted her attempts at socializing. All was well. Then she showed up at a party my buddies had, and due to consumption of alcohol, I succumbed to her charms a second time. We were together but the longer things went on, the more I realized nothing had changed. She was still crazy (a shorthand way of described her attitude and how she treated me). The reasons for the previous break up were still valid. The relationship lasted about 6 months the second time around. While I was technically the dumped one, I was very happy it happened. What I learned: trust your instincts, the leopard doesn't change its spots, believe what she does and not what she says. Link to post Share on other sites
Glynda Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 I learned this lesson many years ago as a college kid. Had gf in year 3. Broke up since I thought she was crazy. In fall of year 4 had a small class together. Resisted her attempts at socializing. All was well. Then she showed up at a party my buddies had, and due to consumption of alcohol, I succumbed to her charms a second time. We were together but the longer things went on, the more I realized nothing had changed. She was still crazy (a shorthand way of described her attitude and how she treated me). The reasons for the previous break up were still valid. The relationship lasted about 6 months the second time around. While I was technically the dumped one, I was very happy it happened. What I learned: trust your instincts, the leopard doesn't change its spots, believe what she does and not what she says. I learned this in college too. I broke up with a high school boyfriend who a few years later when I was in college wanted to get back together. I gave him another chance hoping he'd grown up a little but it turned out he hadn't changed at all. I had real feelings for him but because of something he did, I broke up with him for good. However, that wasn't the end because a couple of years later, he called my parents' house looking for me and they took a message. I never called him back but then about a year after that, he called looking for me again and I was there and told him I didn't want to see or hear from him again and to leave me alone, and he did until a few months ago when he tried to get with me on Facebook, even though my Facebook profile says I'm married. I let him friend me and then he said he had just ended a relationship and should have married me back 20 years ago when we dated. I immediately told him not a chance that I was with the man of my dreams and wouldn't mess that up, and he has since unfriended me and left me alone. I posted the whole story on another forum here and after reading it, I wonder why I even wanted to talk to him again all these years later. He wasn't good for me or any other woman for that matter. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 I've had two break-ups/reconciliations and neither of them worked out. The first one didn't work because we had changed too much. The second one didn't work because it was never going to work under any circumstances. For me, when I end a relationship, it's for a very good reason and I've given it a lot of thought. I also give the person a chance to change whatever needs to change. So, once I'm gone, I'm pretty gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Happines Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 Well it very much depends on why two people broke up In my case was him not treating me well and kissing another girl whilst drunk...I left him. 3 months later he came back asking another chance because apparently he realised how much I meant to him...well 3 weeks into his another chance I found out he was sleeping with other girls whilst we were broken up even know he swore me he didn't so there once a liar always a liar...and as well he still could not be bothered in putting effort People change in very very rear situations so in my case no I don't think I don't think second chance would work if u broke up due to lies or cheating Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Have any of you actually gone at it again with an ex and been better than the first time with them? No. Like did things improve? No, they weren't going to because he didn't go through any intensive therapy over his part in the demise of our relationship. I did. You have to pull out the problem by the roots if you truly want it gone. You can't mow it over and expect it to not sprout new stalks. Also, why did you break-up and how did you guys reconnect again? He was cheating on me. I had to get some financial information from him and he was all "I'm so sorry, blah blah effin' blah, I want you back blah blah love blah". Whatevs!!! All the while, he's still laying up in her bed every night. He'll never change and I ain't got that kind of time. No. Boy, bye. When a man wants you and only you in their life, they act like it and their actions follow through consistently and with integrity. My ex acts like he wants his relationship with his side piece and not me--because he's been with her for 5 years now and not me, despite what he may say about how he feels about me. Where is he laying his head at night? There's your answer for where their loyalties are. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 They don't come back. When they find another person who treats them better, they realize the grass is alot greener than what it had been. And if they break up with you, only the dumper can fully ask to restart a relationship with you Anything else is futile. Link to post Share on other sites
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