Overcomplementing...? !!!

[fish1978]

Hello Girls and Boys

 

I am 35, male. Had quite a few relationships in my life. But NOT in the last decade. I was with my long term GF and almost wife for more than 10 years.

We broke up last year.

 

I ve moved on.

 

My problem is, that I have been out of the game for that long, that I actually have difficulty getting back in again. I think I am doing many beginners mistakes again.

I have to elaborate a bit.

 

I am quite a prolific writer concerning Politics and Economics (my field). I also post a lot of that stuff on Facebook. (in my native language which isnt English ofc).

At some point I noticed a particular young lady was liking all my posts and also made a lot of correct and intelligent comments.

Initially I ignored them (only liked them), but as the comments and likes kept pouring in I took notice.

 

She even made the comment " ****** you are an extraordinary man"

 

At some point I clicked on her picture and entered her profile.

I was blown away instantly.

A stunningly beautiful lady, really well educated.

Part time model (no kidding, she is) with a good office Job. STUNNINGLY beautiful.

 

Im average looking, not hiding it but im quite fit (into boxing for years). Got a big pic at my FB profile.

 

So soon I started replying personally to her. And also started commenting on her more "girly" posts on her own wall as well.

I was funny and humorful initially, which she took well and responded likewise.

 

I asked her out, no date stuff really, more like visiting a charity, a thing we both have interest in. I thought it would be a good ice breaker.

 

She instantly answered negatively to me as she had other plans for the night (it was on very short notice, just a couple of hours before the event) but she also gave her phone number adding that she would like to, some other time.

 

That was like 3 weeks ago. I was away on business etc, so I didn’t phone her as I was out of town for the last 2 weeks. During those days I was away, I flirted and complemented her A LOT on her FB posts. I made a lot of comparisons between her and various goddesses from mythology, which, initially at least, she seemed to love. She even said how beautiful those things I write to her are…. I didn’t phone her at that moment…

 

And suddenly… poof…

 

Shes gone.

Not posting anything on my wall, and doesn’t really answer any of my comments on her. (she does answer/comment/post to other people)

 

Whats your opinion?

-Should I keep posting/flirting her, even without resonance from her? (sounds like a bg nono)

-Did I spook her away?

-Could it be that I over complimented her?

-I mean a girl like her has probably 100s of guys kissing her ass, guys whom she probably is routinely ignoring…..did I just make myself like them?

-Can I "undo" the Avalanche of compliments I made to her? Or should I just forget about this?

 

 

-I know that I should probably just man up and stick my testicles back to their place and phone her to ask her out.

 

But people….my confidence is just at the bottom of the ocean….

 

Any advice opinion or insight from any lady or gentleman would be highly appreciated.

 

Damn, its awkward falling in love with a FB profile… but damn I got a crush on her.

 

Pls Help! :love:

[Qboro90]

I think you need to cease the Facebook interactions and childish "liking" back and forth flirting that you're dead set on doing. This girl gave you her phone number and told you she would be interested in getting together another time. The fact that she said that after your short notice charity invite tells me that she was open to seeing and getting to know you more.

 

Over complimenting and comparing her to Goddesses comes off as a bit desperate and clingy. You need to act like she's not the first pretty girl that's ever talked to you.

 

Sending her a text would be the best thing for you to do. "Hey it's ____ , just read something that made me think of you, how's everything?"

 

She gave you her number for a reason. Use it.

[jen1447]

I think it's too late - what's done is done. You bscly 'beta'ed her to death and there's no coming back from that. Just suck up what's left of your dignity and let her go.

 

For future reference, ass-kissing is an art-form. Most all women like men to kiss their asses to a degree, but when it goes overboard it quickly goes from cute/alluring to submissive/pussy-ish. Women generally don't like pussy-ish guys.

 

What we really want is for strong, confident men to occasionally kiss our asses, not for weak men to do it all the time and grovel.

[chapter44]

I think it's too late - what's done is done. You bscly 'beta'ed her to death and there's no coming back from that. Just suck up what's left of your dignity and let her go.

 

For future reference, ass-kissing is an art-form. Most all women like men to kiss their asses to a degree, but when it goes overboard it quickly goes from cute/alluring to submissive/pussy-ish. Women generally don't like pussy-ish guys.

 

What we really want is for strong, confident men to occasionally kiss our asses, not for weak men to do it all the time and grovel.

 

 

I concur with Jen, to much of a good thing can be construed as weakness and desperation. In addition facebook is not real life and IMHO not a place to find a partner.

 

 

Move on learn from this experience.

[Emerald_11]

YUP you missed that one.

 

Next time if you get a phone number call them the same week or the next day would be best.

 

She probably doesn't look as good as her facebook pictures in real life anyways.

 

EDIT: You could still try calling her. You never know!

[fish1978]

 

EDIT: You could still try calling her. You never know!

 

You made my day!!!

 

(Hope is the strongest drug.... isnt it?)

[TaraMaiden2]

You made my day!!!

 

(Hope is the strongest drug.... isnt it?)

 

Yes, it is.

It's also pointless.

 

Whenever have you heard the word 'hope' allied in the same sentence as something of beneficial outcome?

 

When people 'hope' it's because they're already desperate or pessimistic.

 

Hope contains a big, fat Zero.

I'm always bringing this to the attention of folks who think 'Hope is a positive emotion'...

Remember Pandora?

She was given a box (actually, for the sake of pedantic accuracy, it was actually an amphora, the lid of which was sealed with beeswax).

This "box" was filled with all the Evils of the World.

Pandora, ever the nosy female (I say that, being female myself....) decided she could not contain her curisoity, and, unaware of the precise contents - opened it.

 

Well, we know the rest, don't we?

She released all the Evils of the World to wreak havoc and do their worst. But she managed to slam the lid shut and prevented Hope from getting out.

 

Thus, the story is supposed to impart the sense that with a Will, mankind may still find salvation.

 

But hang on a mo'....

 

The box didn't contain "All the Evils of the World, except one."

Hope wasn't an exception.

Hope - was an evil alongside all the rest.

Which is why Hope leaves such a hole in our hearts and a pit in our stomachs.

It springs eternal, but is 'some', 'vain' or 'no'.

 

Either call, because you are 100% confident of a positive outcome - or if in any doubt at all - don't.

[fish1978]

Even though I know the Myth of Pandora (im half greek), I would have never thought of it, or make the connection! Your comparison is amazing!

Edited October 9, 2015 by fish1978