LaciLoveLace Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Hello, all! I've been lurking around the forums for about 5 months now and today I finally made an account! I wanted to ask for advice on this situation. It's nothing major. I'm down for any advice because I've never done this before, so I feel silly and maybe I just did the wrong thing to begin with. ANYWAY, last night, after a long day of classes and then work, I had a weird craving for the potato skins at TGI Fridays, haha. So, I went about an hour before closing, thought I'd watch some of the football games, and just have a nice little dinner date with myself. So, the waiter comes up. He looked like maybe 18, MAYBE, but he was absolutely adorable. He came over, introduced himself, asked for my drink and then proceeded to sit down across from me all casual like, which was nice. He took my order, I thought nothing of it. Then, as the night went on, he came by A LOT. Just to talk. Not necessarily to refill my drink or ask anything. Just to chat. Which, still isn't uncommon for waiters and waitresses. About halfway through my dinner, I noticed a blonde girl come in, she sat down for a minute, he sat down with her. I thought he was just doing the same thing he had done with me, until he rubbed her arm and gave her a hug before she left. Okay, cool. He's got a girlfriend, that's adorable. Then, I got a long island tea, and got brave. After I asked for the check. I asked for his name again because I had forgotten. He told me, and instead of taking the check away (because it was late, they were closing), he sat down across from me again, asked for my name, and come to find out, we go to the same university, we're approximately the same age (I wasn't sure, but he mentioned going to school for five years as well). We talked for a good 20 minutes about school, our hobbies, just random things, and I found out the blonde girl (he didn't say girlfriend, but I'm pretty certain she is)and I live in the same apartment complex, and before I left, he told me to come back by again and ask to sit in his section and that he hopes to see me around because it's nice to have friends to talk to that live near by. A little buzzed, I left a little note on a napkin with his tip. I just said, "Hey, _______, thank you so much! You're precious! I hope to see you around!" and I left my number. I hoped he would call or text, but he hasn't. Maybe I'm just being silly, haha. And now, I feel like I'll never be able to go back there without being embarrassed. But a part of me wants to go back, just to sit in his section and talk. Now, to explain a few things... Yes, I was eating alone. No, I'm not trying to "steal" him from his girlfriend. I just enjoyed his company and we're around the same age. Of course I'd want to get to know him! But, my question is...what should I do? Go back and sit in his section a few weeks from now? Forget about it? I'm terrible at making friends, hahaha. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Ok, let me clarify a few things: 1: Girls are great at being friends with guys. We are. We can do it, we enjoy it, and we know there's no harm in it, it's just fun. 2: Guys really suck at being friends with girls. Why? Because to a guy there is always an agenda. That agenda is "can I get down and dirty with her? I'mma gonna do my best....!" Whereas girls think with their hearts, guys think with their... well, you know. 3: The Girlfriends of guys who have a girl paying any attention to their BF - even if it's innocent and merely platonic - do not look kindly upon this usurper trying to muscle in. You will create jealousy, resentment and hostility. In brief: Steer clear. It will only end in tears. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LaciLoveLace Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 Ah, damn. I didn't even think of it like that. I mean. Waiters and waitresses can be flirty. Especially if they're trying to get tips. We all know that. I definitely don't want to impose on his relationship. I don't even know him like that, haha! I guess I won't be eating anymore loaded baked potato skins But, no seriously, I was hoping he would text, but things happen for a reason! So it's probably for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I'm not really sure what your intentions are, and it doesn't sound like you are either. So if you really think that is his gf, and you don't want to steal him, why are you flirting and leaving your #? Pretty single girls making friends with attached guy that their is a mutual attraction with, isn't the making of a successful drama free friendship. It's a problem waiting to happen. I wouldn't avoid TGI Friday's over it. (I would avoid it, because their food is awful though) Link to post Share on other sites
Author LaciLoveLace Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 I'm not really sure what your intentions are, and it doesn't sound like you are either. So if you really think that is his gf, and you don't want to steal him, why are you flirting and leaving your #? Pretty single girls making friends with attached guy that their is a mutual attraction with, isn't the making of a successful drama free friendship. It's a problem waiting to happen. I wouldn't avoid TGI Friday's over it. (I would avoid it, because their food is awful though) Well, yeah. I know what you mean. It's not impossible to be friends with an attached guy though, right? And I don't think I was flirting. I've known people to leave notes for their waiters and waitresses if they enjoyed themselves. Leaving my number was more of a, "hey, let's keep in touch!" not a, "call me cause you're hot!" Also, I'm new to this area, so I'll take any friends I can get to avoid being at home on a Friday night, haha. But you're right. I don't want to end up with a messy friendship, but I still would like to be friends with this guy. So, girlfriend aside (since my intention is not to hook up with him or anything), how could I go about striking up a friendship with him? Once again, I'm not really interested in a relationship or anything like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 I don't know what you're after but people who work at restaurants are basically swingers. They all are having sex with each other and all of the customers as well. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 I hope you're being funny, because I've worked at three restaurants and run a bistro, and let me tell you, you're displaying some really bizarre ideas lately!! Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 But, no seriously, I was hoping he would text, Which is totally inappropriate to do when a guy you just met, has a GF... no? You aren't foolin anyone here, you gave your number so he would continue giving you attention.Texting may seem innocent at first, but before you know it, it turns to emotional an affair. There are times like these you need to step away from YOU and put yourself in their shoes. He's mackin on you, he got your interest, now he keeps you in his back pocket as an option. She has no clue her BF is hitting on other women, and keeping them as option which means she's just an option. Sad. He's a wiener, not a winner. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 I don't know what you're after but people who work at restaurants are basically swingers. They all are having sex with each other and all of the customers as well. This isn't so far from the truth.....a little extreme, but a lot of doin each other, BJs in the can, etc. I saw that s hit when I worked at a club that was in a hotel. It also had a rock bar with live bands and a lounge. Waitresses boinkin male strippers, band members getting bjs, customers having quickies out in the parking lot. Maybe the 80's were more crazier. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 You Americans are so weird..... Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 You Americans are so weird..... ???? me? I AM Canadian. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Ooooooh....Canadian..... Right..... Yeah...I know...... (*taps side of nose*).... Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Ooooooh....Canadian..... Right..... Yeah...I know...... (*taps side of nose*).... I have been mistaken for a Yankie before, because them people don't know how to read don't ya know eh. Link to post Share on other sites
seekingluck Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 (edited) I had a similar situation. Mine was more confusing. Met a chef. He was in the grey land of friendly/flirting. Went to his restaurant over a few months. He stopped to chat most of the time. He'd pay me compliments. We chatted about hobbies and the like though never about "relationship status." He always hugged me at each visit. Eventually I went there for my birthday dinner. It was great, i got free drinks and appetizers. My friends were commenting on his friendliness. He stopped at our table to chat for a while. Eventually he gave his number under an auspicious pretense. We exchanged a few texts. It never turned into anything. Then months later I ran into him with his business partner. They looked together. He was still friendly (and she is as well, not as friendly as him though). So honestly I never did figure it out. Haven't seen him for a few months, but I am hoping I can still get free food. So basically I have a foodie "friend" who I only see when I go out to eat and he gives me recipe ideas. Oh and he is a super flirt. My theroy in retrospect was he enjoyed the attention from a "younger" woman. He is mid to late 40s. I am mid to late 30s and often perceived as a 20-something. So i can see how it would be a fun ego boost. Edited October 10, 2015 by seekingluck Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Ok, let me clarify a few things: 1: Girls are great at being friends with guys. We are. We can do it, we enjoy it, and we know there's no harm in it, it's just fun. 2: Guys really suck at being friends with girls. Why? Because to a guy there is always an agenda. That agenda is "can I get down and dirty with her? I'mma gonna do my best....!" Whereas girls think with their hearts, guys think with their... well, you know. This just seems all wrong to me. Girls are great at being friends with guys? Please go read a topic in this forum titled "BF jealous of my best guy friend and I" and then come back and say that. Sure, some women can do it, just like some men can. But you tried to pull this "girls think with their hearts" BS when I've seen many a topics about females cheating and banging their damn friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LaciLoveLace Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 Which is totally inappropriate to do when a guy you just met, has a GF... no? You aren't foolin anyone here, you gave your number so he would continue giving you attention.Texting may seem innocent at first, but before you know it, it turns to emotional an affair. There are times like these you need to step away from YOU and put yourself in their shoes. He's mackin on you, he got your interest, now he keeps you in his back pocket as an option. She has no clue her BF is hitting on other women, and keeping them as option which means she's just an option. Sad. He's a wiener, not a winner. Why is it inappropriate? I understand flirting with someone who has a girlfriend is, obviously. But I'm not intending to flirt. And I don't think he was flirting. Or was he? I don't know. He was just super friendly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LaciLoveLace Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 He also referred to the girl that he hugged as "the blonde girl". Hahaha. But, I think just to go talk to him, I might go back next week. JUST to talk though. None of that giving my number and leaving notes business. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 (edited) He also referred to the girl that he hugged as "the blonde girl". Hahaha. But, I think just to go talk to him, I might go back next week. JUST to talk though. None of that giving my number and leaving notes business. Well you already gave him your number so what is you saying you won't give him your number supposed to show? Look I think you are a bit naïve when it comes to men if you think this guy just wants to be friends with you. He is 18 and if he has a girlfriend already he isn't going to be having long talks with random women at he serves at work just because he really needs a friend. May I ask how old you are? Make no mistake this guy sooner or later will attempt to bang you. Especially if you just "happen" to show up again at his work in his section, which you realize if you do that he will think you are into him right? You also seem a little too adamant about how its just about talking. She doth protest too much and all that. Edited October 11, 2015 by Spectre Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Why is it inappropriate? I understand flirting with someone who has a girlfriend is, obviously. But I'm not intending to flirt. And I don't think he was flirting. Or was he? I don't know. He was just super friendly. How about you read my post again? You seemed to pick up on the lesson there, but obviously, the possible attention this escapade will bring you, is turning your head again.... Link to post Share on other sites
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