Ladies...when do you give out your phone number to a guy

[browneyes22]

Ladies...I'd like to hear your policy on giving out your phone number. Would you give your number to a guy whose intentions were clear (ie, someone you've known for a while to want to take you out on a romantic date) even if you didn't feel the same way? I mean...i've got this girl that i'm definitely interested in and she's interested in me the same. Getting to the point, I ask her out...get her number, but she's either too busy or doesn't return my phonecalls (which are few and far between). But, she continues to pay attention to me despite the rudeness of not calling back. If a girl is trying to blow me off, why would she give me her number and continue to show signs of interest.

 

And I know the phrase "signs of interest" is open to interpretation to a lot of people. But I'm telling you, the girl is interested. However, she seems to be hesitating for some reason.

 

If I come across a girl that is interested in me but have no feelings for I tend to ignore them at all costs, just to get the message across. It's just not right to egg the situation on any.

 

Damn...i'm confused.

[IhavenoFREAKINclue]

I give him the reject hotline number. For some reason, I have such a hard time saying "No, sorry, You can't have my #" I think thats just a kick in the balls. So i give him this # and he gets the hint that way.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Originally posted by browneyes22

If a girl is trying to blow me off, why would she give me her number and continue to show signs of interest.

 

I expect she sees you as an "out of sight/out of mind" guy. One that she is interested in enough to be nice to when she sees you, but not enough to want to see that the interest goes anywhere. She's interested, but only minimally so. I expect you'd find yourself doing all the work - as she is willing to tolerate and accept your affection but not necessarily return it equally.

[tokyo]

Let's check first why you think she's interested in you. Details, please.

[browneyes22]

Originally posted by kooky

Let's check first why you think she's interested in you. Details, please.

 

Sure...their has been plenty of flirting. Althought I was initially interested, the flirting was started by her. Lots of flirtatious eye contact and things like this. I would often catch her checkin' me out in more ways than one. And it progressed overtime into touching and spending more time than usual with one another. I definately reciprocated the flirting. So, in short, it was all there. All the normal stuff that preludes a date. Nothing really out of the blue. All the while this was happening, turns out she was dating someone long distance. By the time I had asked her out, she stopped the long distance dating but didn't want to date me. So, I left the situation alone for 2-3 months. All the while we would saw each other all the time in passing, always greeting one another and things. Then one day I was tired of this BS greeting business and started to talk with her again. Eventually, got the nerve to ask her out again. We are students, and she is very involved on campus. So far I've only asked her out for a movie. Of course she couldn't, but she countered by inviting me to an event on campus she was working at. I didn't go. And the only other time was asking her for lunch...again too busy. So from here the rest of the above story picks up. I've called a few times, she doesn't call back. The flirting stuff is still their, when we are along with one another but that's not often.

 

She is definately busy, but knowone is too busy to hang one friday/saturday night for a few hours. Something doesn't add up.

 

Hope this is enough detail. Man...i'm thorougly confused.

[scratch]

Originally posted by browneyes22

Ladies...I'd like to hear your policy on giving out your phone number. Would you give your number to a guy whose intentions were clear (ie, someone you've known for a while to want to take you out on a romantic date) even if you didn't feel the same way?

 

Hope you don't mind some advice from a guy.

 

A girl could flirt with you and even give you her number for a multitude of reasons. Hopefully, it's because she likes you. However, it could also be becuase she has a hard time saying no, or you caught her at a certain moment, or she liked you as a friend. It could even be because, although she isn't interested in you, she enjoyes the ego boost from you calling her.

 

For the record, nobody is ever too busy to return an important phone call by the next day. If you ask her out, and she doesn't either say yes or decline but offer an alternate time to meet, she either isn't interested or is a hardcore game-player. You're best served to move on and find someone who likes you more.

[browneyes22]

Originally posted by scratch

Hope you don't mind some advice from a guy.

 

A girl could flirt with you and even give you her number for a multitude of reasons. Hopefully, it's because she likes you. However, it could also be becuase she has a hard time saying no, or you caught her at a certain moment, or she liked you as a friend. It could even be because, although she isn't interested in you, she enjoyes the ego boost from you calling her.

 

For the record, nobody is ever too busy to return an important phone call by the next day. If you ask her out, and she doesn't either say yes or decline but offer an alternate time to meet, she either isn't interested or is a hardcore game-player. You're best served to move on and find someone who likes you more.

 

She has already said no to me once in the past...i don't see why she cound't do it again. And I wasn't getting a friend vibe from her at all.

 

I do agree that their probably is an ego boost from my attention.

 

Most recently, she has offered other alternatives/times to meet. But they never panned out.

 

I would love to find other girls to ask out...but in my situation the pickin's are slim.

 

I suspect LucreziaBorgia is correct here.

[tokyo]

Originally posted by browneyes22

 

 

Sure...their has been plenty of flirting. Althought I was initially interested, the flirting was started by her. Lots of flirtatious eye contact and things like this. I would often catch her checkin' me out in more ways than one. And it progressed overtime into touching and spending more time than usual with one another. I definately reciprocated the flirting. So, in short, it was all there. All the normal stuff that preludes a date. Nothing really out of the blue. All the while this was happening, turns out she was dating someone long distance. By the time I had asked her out, she stopped the long distance dating but didn't want to date me. So, I left the situation alone for 2-3 months. All the while we would saw each other all the time in passing, always greeting one another and things. Then one day I was tired of this BS greeting business and started to talk with her again. Eventually, got the nerve to ask her out again. We are students, and she is very involved on campus. So far I've only asked her out for a movie. Of course she couldn't, but she countered by inviting me to an event on campus she was working at. I didn't go. And the only other time was asking her for lunch...again too busy. So from here the rest of the above story picks up. I've called a few times, she doesn't call back. The flirting stuff is still their, when we are along with one another but that's not often.

 

She is definately busy, but knowone is too busy to hang one friday/saturday night for a few hours. Something doesn't add up.

 

Hope this is enough detail. Man...i'm thorougly confused.

Ok, I agree with LucreziaBorgia, I don't really think there is a lot of chance for you to start something serious with this girl. But you're not in the friends corner yet though.

 

I assume that if this flirting with you during her long distance relationship had been serious, then she would have been more eager to get together with you after the breakup, but she didn't. I interprete it as, she thought flirting was nice and the fact that she was in a relationship gave her the security that you guys were not getting anywhere. So I wouldn't necessarily count on this as proof that she wants to be in a relationship with you.

 

Concerning the alternative that she suggested, this event she had organizing, I think it also just indicates mild interest. You suggested something personal and she suggested something with a lot of people. I don't know, doesn't seem like she wants to get to know you better.

 

It's a bad sign that she never called you back. You've made a couple of moves and she knows that you're interested, but she's not interested enough to invest time or energy in you.

 

I think your chances are maybe 30%. I would stop calling her and I would stop pursuing her. When you meet her and have time, have a little chat with her, but stop thinking that you and her are at the same level of interest. Drop from the face of the earth. When you meet by chance and she asks you for a coffee or something, then maybe you have a chance from there, but right now your chances with this girl are slim. She's not been doing anything to get closer to you and she has rejected you a couple of times already. You need to raise her level of interest a bit more, hers is still below the threshold.

 

 

Originally posted by scratch

For the record, nobody is ever too busy to return an important phone call by the next day.

I guess, that's true.

 

If you ask her out, and she doesn't either say yes or decline but offer an alternate time to meet, she either isn't interested or is a hardcore game-player.

I don't know, sometimes you don't have time and then I would suggest another time where we can meet. If I wasn't interested at all, I would just politely decline.

[browneyes22]

Originally posted by kooky

Ok, I agree with LucreziaBorgia, I don't really think there is a lot of chance for you to start something serious with this girl. But you're not in the friends corner yet though.

 

That's fine...i'm not necessarily looking for a serious commitment. Just a date. Someone to accompany to a movie or something like that.

 

Originally posted by kooky

I assume that if this flirting with you during her long distance relationship had been serious, then she would have been more eager to get together with you after the breakup, but she didn't. I interprete it as, she thought flirting was nice and the fact that she was in a relationship gave her the security that you guys were not getting anywhere. So I wouldn't necessarily count on this as proof that she wants to be in a relationship with you.

 

I forgot to mention that I asked her out by email. Told her how wonderful I thought she was and things like this. Of course, this didn't work so I laid low for a quite a while. This started back up again when I felt some vibes from her again. I guess this shifted me into the being the chaser permanantly.

 

Originally posted by kooky

Concerning the alternative that she suggested, this event she had organizing, I think it also just indicates mild interest. You suggested something personal and she suggested something with a lot of people. I don't know, doesn't seem like she wants to get to know you better.

 

This is exactly how I read this manuver...and is why I chose not to go. Just to let her know that I am not interested in watching her work at some event.

 

 

This is all great advise. She is quite younger (shes an undergrad and I'm a grad student). So my take on the situation is that she is interested but would like to do her own thing for a while. The school we go to is not easy, and people are rather career oriented. Couple this with all that she has going on...I know/knew it wouldn't be easy to get her out. She better make up her mind though 'cause others are interested. It's just, for me she is worth it.

 

Ah who knows...I hate not dating.

[Mary3]

I think you are wasting your precious time on this girl. I am speaking from a woman's perspective here. All the signs are obvious. She would be sitting in your livingroom with you right now cuddling if she could...if she wanted to....but shes tooo busy...which means :

 

Busy = Not Interested

[browneyes22]

OK...so if your not interested...DON'T GIVE OUT YOUR #. Not sure if you ladies care...but the reason why you think guys act strange sometimes is because of stuff like this. It just doesn't make sense to give out your number, not a fake number, but your real number and return phone calls on your own time. And then expect to make conversation after the fact. WTF?

 

On a slightly seperate issue:

I don't play games. I'm sorry, but if everyone out there thinks that playing games like this leads to relationship/marital bliss later in life I think they are sorrily mistaken. Don't know of anyone together in a successful relationship whom has played games like this. I do know of people that have played games like this, then hit there 30's...had an oh sh*t I need to get married moment...then stopped playing games only to soon after find a spouse. From what I see it seems like a lot of women in there 20's are constantly looking for the next best guy...thus the origin of the game playing. Then it's like this epiphany in there early 30's...huh? Sorry, but a lot of guys I know have been burned by this stuff. It's very fustrating.

 

Ladies...what's with the games? If your not interested, don't give out your number or even acknoledge our existence for that matter. If your in a relationship, say no i'm in a relationship please leave me alone.

 

Ladies...if you are interested, go 100% or don't go at all. There is know such thing as kinda-sorta in these situations. If you are interested in a guy and have chemistry with him great...let us know. But please, don't let this stuff follow through when you are with someone else or are on the fence. The last batch or girls interested in me were in weak relationships and it only 'causes the guy fustration in the end (and quite frankly makes them look bad). It's really starting to go like a broken record.

 

I may be wasting my time...but I get the funny feeling that these chics are wasting my time more than I am wasting my own time. I just react appropriatly to situations I find myself in. I guess i'm meeting the girls that don't

 

It takes two to tago 'ya know.

[monkey00]

Originally posted by browneyes22

Ladies...I'd like to hear your policy on giving out your phone number. Would you give your number to a guy whose intentions were clear (ie, someone you've known for a while to want to take you out on a romantic date) even if you didn't feel the same way? I mean...i've got this girl that i'm definitely interested in and she's interested in me the same. Getting to the point, I ask her out...get her number, but she's either too busy or doesn't return my phonecalls (which are few and far between). But, she continues to pay attention to me despite the rudeness of not calling back. If a girl is trying to blow me off, why would she give me her number and continue to show signs of interest.

 

And I know the phrase "signs of interest" is open to interpretation to a lot of people. But I'm telling you, the girl is interested. However, she seems to be hesitating for some reason.

 

If I come across a girl that is interested in me but have no feelings for I tend to ignore them at all costs, just to get the message across. It's just not right to egg the situation on any.

 

Damn...i'm confused.

 

Im no lady, but i can tell you this based from experience. Regardless if a woman is interested in you or not, some will still give it to you just to appear nice. and when you call for a date, they'll make excuses (rejection). or if theyre straightforward enough, they'll just say "sorry i dont give my # out".

 

If a girl has high enough interest level, she will answer your calls, hell even call back.

But apparently if they arent, they'll just play the role of being busy.

 

remember this, which i have always found to be true - "girls are never too busy to tell you they're busy"

[monkey00]

Originally posted by browneyes22

 

 

From what I see it seems like a lot of women in there 20's are constantly looking for the next best guy...thus the origin of the game playing. Then it's like this epiphany in there early 30's...huh? Sorry, but a lot of guys I know have been burned by this stuff. It's very fustrating.

 

 

yes that's right. women in their 20's are mainly looking for the next good lay. only in their 30's do they realize their biological clock is ticking and realize it's time to get serious and settle down. Of course physical appearance is everything to a woman and they know they wont look good for all eternity

 

on a side note, quite frankly many women are attention whores. So even if they dont call back or play the busy role, and still appear to be interested in you (in person)....you know.

[tokyo]

I'll tell you how it goes with me. If a guy ask me nicely for my phone number I will probably give it to him whether I like him a lot or not, because I feel it would be rude to say no directly (unless he's really rude or I'm in a bad mood). If he calls and asks me to do something, I might say yes when during our phone call he manages to catch my interest. If I still don't feel any interest I'll probably give him an excuse and hope he will not call back. If he calls a second time I'll give another excuse and hope he will not call me back. If he calls a third time I will think he's a nice guy who doesn't know the rules of the game. Am I a coward? YES. Unfortunately.....

 

Often I just want to keep things at the friends level, and not go out with them on dates and I'm afraid that when I do not give them my phone number they will feel too rejected. Things would be a bit better, when the guys knew how to interprete signals and know when a girl wants them to ask her for her phone number and when not.

 

If I'm interested I will agree to a meeting. If I'm busy I will suggest another date. If I'm not at home and he leaves a message, I will call him back.

 

Originally posted by browneyes22

I don't play games. I'm sorry, but if everyone out there thinks that playing games like this leads to relationship/marital bliss later in life I think they are sorrily mistaken. Don't know of anyone together in a successful relationship whom has played games like this. I do know of people that have played games like this, then hit there 30's...had an oh sh*t I need to get married moment...then stopped playing games only to soon after find a spouse. From what I see it seems like a lot of women in there 20's are constantly looking for the next best guy...thus the origin of the game playing. Then it's like this epiphany in there early 30's...huh? Sorry, but a lot of guys I know have been burned by this stuff. It's very fustrating.

It's not a game. You've been told a couple of time in very subtle way that they don't want to date you. And like you, the ladies are also allowed to make a choice. It would be the same way if the social conventions and traditions were different and women approached men as much as vice versa.

 

Ladies...what's with the games? If your not interested, don't give out your number or even acknoledge our existence for that matter. If your in a relationship, say no i'm in a relationship please leave me alone.

And of course you won't call them stuck up b*tches.

 

Ladies...if you are interested, go 100% or don't go at all. There is know such thing as kinda-sorta in these situations. If you are interested in a guy and have chemistry with him great...let us know. But please, don't let this stuff follow through when you are with someone else or are on the fence.

If you call too often and there's no reaction, please don't assume that there are any games,

 

Originally posted by monkey00

yes that's right. women in their 20's are mainly looking for the next good lay. only in their 30's do they realize their biological clock is ticking and realize it's time to get serious and settle down.

And men are all for romance and happy with a little bit of cuddling and spooning, yeah.....

 

Of course physical appearance is everything to a woman and they know they wont look good for all eternity

Yep, maybe that's why we're more picky with whom we date.

 

on a side note, quite frankly many women are attention whores. So even if they dont call back or play the busy role, and still appear to be interested in you (in person)....you know.

Unfortunately, you guys know nothing....

[tokyo]

By the way, let me tell you a short anecdote from my life (you know, old women like me have a lot of stories to tell ). I had a crush once on one of my roommates once while I lived abroad for a while. We flirted a bit and I fell quite for him. He talked a lot about his ex-girlfriend and that he still liked her. At the same time he made me compliments, so I was a bit confused. I went home and stayed in contact via emails. We talked about a bit about our feelings in our emails and well, he said he was still in love with his old girlfriend and he thought that by talking all the time about her I would understand it (well, I did not.... ). A couple of months later he told me about a new girlfriend and I was actually fine with this. I went back for a project and he came to visit me. We flirted again. Well, that did not make his girlfriend disappear if you know what I mean.... Anyway, we had a fight over this. We parted, but we continued to fight over emails as I felt he had mislead me and we broke off contact as both were quite angry with each other. A year later we made peace and we're still friends. Rejection is not great, but still no reason to make such a fuss about it. I don't think men and women can really be best buddies, but I don't see any reason why you should always turn this into an either-or question.

[XNemesisX]

I will usually ALWAYS give my number out when someone asks for it (unless the guy is super weird or creepy, in which case I would just give the wrong number).

 

I'm with Kooky on this. I just find it too rude to just say to someone "sorry but you cannot have my number!" I can't think of anyone who would do that. ESPECIALLY if you know you will have to see that person face to face again.

 

I will wait for the guy to call me, and I will either ignore his calls and never answer the phone and never call him back....or I will repeatedly say I am "too busy" and hope the guy gets the hint!

 

If, after a few calls of being turned down, the guy STILL doesn't get it? Well then he needs his head examined!

 

BrownEyes, you may just be confusing her friendliness for flirting. It's pretty apparent she is not interested in you.

[d'Arthez]

Originally posted by XNemesisX

I will wait for the guy to call me, and I will either ignore his calls and never answer the phone and never call him back....or I will repeatedly say I am "too busy" and hope the guy gets the hint!

 

If, after a few calls of being turned down, the guy STILL doesn't get it? Well then he needs his head examined!

 

Thanks, for directing me to the psychiatrist. Remember that if you make excuses, they seem to be excuses. Sometimes people actually give credit to them. So what happens? If he is a jerk or experienced (or should I say jaded?), he will get the message. And if he is not experienced with this whole thing, he will definitively form a low opinion of the woman involved.

 

I can't understand, why honesty is too much to ask for. Games of reflexivity are NOT beneficial to either girl or guy. It does not raise my opinion (and probably most men's) opinion of a woman who does this.

[XNemesisX]

Originally posted by d'Arthez

Thanks, for directing me to the psychiatrist. Remember that if you make excuses, they seem to be excuses. Sometimes people actually give credit to them. So what happens? If he is a jerk or experienced (or should I say jaded?), he will get the message. And if he is not experienced with this whole thing, he will definitively form a low opinion of the woman involved.

 

I can't understand, why honesty is too much to ask for. Games of reflexivity are NOT beneficial to either girl or guy. It does not raise my opinion (and probably most men's) opinion of a woman who does this.

 

Because it is too hurtful to embarass someone to their face by telling them they can't have your phone number. I just couldn't stomach humiliating someone like that!

 

And there really is no need to keep calling and pursuing. Here is what I think guys should do. Say you call the girl but she says she is too busy. Well, then leave the ball in her court and tell her to give you a call back when she has a chance, and/or when she is free. That way, you leave with your dignity and if she is not interested you will know by her not calling back.

 

Next scenario: Say that you call and got her answering machine/or voicemail. Leave a message. Do not call again after that. Trust me, she WILL get your message! It always aggravates me when people (and this is NOT just guys I am talking about) will call me and leave me a bazillion voicemails. I will hear the first one!!! Don't call her back! She will get your message, and if she is interested she will RETURN your call.

 

If she doesn't have an answering machine/voicemail then you can keep calling (unless you know she has caller id and knows it is your number) in which case what I explained above will be the answer to that scenario.

 

D'Arthez...in a perfect world we would all just be honest...but most people just don't have the heart to reject someone right to their face like that. It's just too awkward and embarrassing for both people involved. So, I would say that IMO guys should take the pointers up above. At least, that is the way I see it.

 

Just remember guys, do NOT keep calling!!! Don't be a pest (that's a really good way to scare someone off!) Leave the ball in her court after your first call.

[d'Arthez]

Well, I was in the situation that I knew she was non-contactable for over two months. And believe me, it is not hard to trust a person, when you are actually not jaded about people or relationships. So you, actually give credit to reasonable excuses. Call it insane if you want.

 

Nice way of ruining two months, because she, who presented herself as a strong willed woman, who knew exactly what she wanted, was not strong enough to be honest. Yes, now that I think of it, she may have been interested in my money. As for her maturity, well she has proven herself. It came with free strikes with a dagger in my back - I guess I was good enough to be made fun of by her.

 

It is not hurtful to tell the truth. To you it may be, because it makes you feel bad. But it is only temporary.

If he is a jerk, he will get the hint. If he is already experienced, he knows why things are as they are, and that love does not come easy. And if he is still innocent, and actually would give credit to excuses, he'd honestly hear the truth. It saves him time from obsessing over a person.

On the positive side, chances of stalking or obsessive behavior are actually reduced when people treat each other with honesty, and courtesy.

[Marshbear]

I don't know. By giving your number to the guy you make him think you will date him. The "don't call back or tell him I'm busy" may make it easier on you but not on him. How would you handle an approach from someone who you knew, maybe someone who was a friend? Would you lead him on or just come out and tell him the truth?

Sometimes the truth is harsh and you try to spare their feelings but either way someone gets hurt. Guys are pretty dense sometimes at picking up the messages that seem so clear to women. Sometimes you just have to be honest with them.

 

Peace...

[Chipmonk]

Originally posted by XNemesisX

Because it is too hurtful to embarass someone to their face by telling them they can't have your phone number. I just couldn't stomach humiliating someone like that!

Telling someone to their face that you aren't interested is not particularly humiliating. What is humiliating is when the guy goes back to his buddies - who WILL ask, "what's her name? did you get her phone number?" And if he says yes (why would he lie? You gave him a phone number, he thinks you are interested!), then his buddies will ask again in a week, "so how's it going between you and so-and-so?". And he has to say that she hasn't called, and she must not be interested ... in effect, that he's gotten stood up ... that's humiliating.

 

Not telling someone to their face may be easier on you, may make you feel less guilty. But don't confuse that with his embarrassment. His buddies are his biggest fans, and the instant they find out he has your phone number, anything less than a date looks like you stood him up.

 

Originally posted by Marshbear

Guys are pretty dense sometimes at picking up the messages that seem so clear to women.

Word. Guys are eternal optimists - we have to be, otherwise the rejections would be crushing and we'd never ask anyone out again. And an optimist has two choices: he can either believe the excuses and ignore that message, or he can turn to someone else. And why should he turn to someone else when YOU were the one who gave him a phone number?

[tokyo]

I completely agree with Nemesis. Nothing would prevent me from calling back if I really wanted to know the guy.

 

Actually, I can tell another story. A couple of months ago, I met a guy at my university by chance that I had met a year ago at the party of a mutual friend. As we both were going to lunch we sat together. After lunch he asked for my phone number. I gave it to him even though I wasn't really interested. He called me once, but I wasn't at home. He didn't leave a message and never called back and I was fine with that. A couple of weeks later I saw him at another party with his girlfriend and things were ok between us. A few days ago he called me and invited me to his birthday party. So obviously he was cool with me not being too interested in him and I'm glad he's not offended. I was a bit surprised when he called and it was just now that I remembered dimly that it was me who gave him my phone number, I had thought all the time he had asked our mutual friend for it. I'm not sure if we would still talk if I had refused point-blank to give him my phone number. But maybe now it's me who's assuming too much and guys could handle a no very well. Maybe it's arrogant to assume that their world would fall apart because I told them no.

 

Personally I think, guys who could take a no are also the ones who understand to read the signals. Guys who insist on more honesty, in fact would feel shattered if they did not even get a polite hidden rejection. They are nice, sensitive and unfortunately often clueless.

 

If you're not sure if you should ask or not, give her your phone number and let her call you. If she's interested, whe will call, if she's not interested she won't. I find it easier to distribute my phone number then to ask people for their.

 

d'Arthez, I don't think it's necessary to always be so brutally honest, if I see though that someone starts to call frequently and is obviously very interested then I'd probably at one point would tell him that he won't get further with his endeavour.

[d'Arthez]

Originally posted by kooky

d'Arthez, I don't think it's necessary to always be so brutally honest, if I see though that someone starts to call frequently and is obviously very interested then I'd probably at one point would tell him that he won't get further with his endeavour.

 

Obviously the guy you referred to, kept open multiple options, as he had a gf only a couple of weeks later. That is fine with me. But not my style.

 

The girl in my situation new perfectly well, that I was not looking for cr*p, and that I admired her alleged honesty. Her excuses were very reasonable, and she had no voicemail. In fact she professed to hate cell phones as much as I do, so were does that leave me? In a confused state, for more than 2 months.

 

Clueless? Perhaps. But by virtue of the same qualities that are supposedly often appreciated. Trust, honesty, openness, to name but a few. I know it must be an absurd concept to tell the truth, especially if you know that you will be non-contactable in the next 2 months. As I told earlier in the thread after two months she was somewhat interested in my money. Naturally I had had enough, and cut contact / seeing each other shortly after that.

 

I am not one to keep his options open. 2 times 90% is less than 1 times 100%, if we are talking about dedicating your attention to, and trying to understand a person. That is a personal preference.

 

And I honestly don't see where the truth would batter my ego. Dishonesty does batter my ego. Of course I should have seen through the whole charade a lot quicker. But can you see that the best in a man or woman actually can have a detrimental effect on the whole interpretation of possible signals?

 

I am glad that things did not work out though.

[browneyes22]

XNemesisX, kooky...you should really listen to Chipmond 'cause he nailed it right on the head. It is more humiliating to be given a number only to be snubbed for the reason he listed. I have more respect for women whom reject me too my face. Giving out your number to someone your not even interested in only to ignore his phone calls is flakey behaviour. To not reject someone to their face 'cause you think it's too humiliating really serves to lessen the pain for yourself, rather than the other person. This is really selfish. And why would I want to be friends with someone whom plays games like this? I'd rather be friends with the one whom flat out rejected me 'cause at least I know where stand with her. Plus, when our friends hear about this stuff...they will know you are a bit of a game player. This will get around and guys that will be interested in you will only bother you for sex 'cause they know everything else is a craps shoot. Maybe this is ok with you, who knows.

 

XNemesisX, kooky, i'm sure your really nice. But knowone likes a flake no matter how sweet you may come across in person.

 

XNemesisX, i didn't mistake her niceness for flirtation. I've been in enough flings and relationships to know when a girl is being more than nice to me. I wait for the most obvious signals to make a strong move...and these signals are night and day compared to just being nice.

 

But it's always the same thing with me. I'll make conversation with a girl. And the ones that come on the strongest always turn out to be in a failed relationship, never single (which decreases my chances of success). Yet they still press forward and they never mention their boyfriends throught the process. After a while when it seems like they totally don't care about their former man I ask them out to something simple like lunch or a movie. Then they react like I am asking for their hand in marriage and run away??????????WTF? All the while I have to recieve BS comments regarding my looks like "Man...you must be beating women off with a stick," or "You must be hanging out with a hot chic every weekend," crap like this. It's very maddening I tell you.

 

As far as this girls being busy, I did get to know her a bit before I thought of asking her out. She is very involved on campus and usually juggles working weekend nights with other activities during the weekend days. So, this is where a lot of her social life is. But, if she were really interested she would make time to call me back and set something up. Its just that after she'll ignore my phone calls (and there haven't been many from me) I'll see someone waving at me from across campus and it'll be her (like she is trying to get my attention) WTF? I don't think I am going to give her my attention anymore.

[browneyes22]

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