HeartinPain Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 I dated a guy I work with casually for nearly a year. We initially agreed that because he tends to get really busy, we weren't looking for anything serious. We had been very secretive about our personal relationship at work, but everyone figured it out anyway from the amount of time we spent together. Of course, the more time you spend with someone, you start having strong feelings and getting attached. I noticed recently he had been distant and not texting or calling as frequently. I suspected there was someone else and got distant to protect myself as a result. I rather be rejected than ghosted on. Eventually, I asked him about his sudden distance and he said short term we would be great, but long term he doesn't see us as compatible. Even though we were not officially together, it felt like a breakup and it hurt a lot. When you tell someone you are not compatible after casually dating, do you ever look back and regret the one you rejected and let go? Link to post Share on other sites
FakeBatman Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 There is the possibility that he could regret his decision to let you go, but when the stakes are high and you've put down emotional investment into this relationship I'd advise you to consider the worst-case scenario of this situation and assume what would happen if he did never regret the decision and come back. This is the time that you have to move on for your own sake, you could try to fight for the relationship but there is nothing worse for you than losing your self-respect trying to fight for someone who won't do the same for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 When he says you aren't compatible, it's just a nice way of saying he doesn't want to be with you. Unless you have some huge lifestyle difference, then he just doesn't feel as strongly about you as you do about him. People usually don't seem to regret a breakup to the point of wanting to get back together. The reason doesn't really matter. Once they have made the decision, they usually stick with it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 I frequently use we're incompatible, and i mean it. It means, i thought of "us" and the long term and decided that there are major complicated differences: i believe in God , he doesn't.. argo we're incompatible. Instead of explaining all this, i keep it simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeartinPain Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 We don't have a huge lifestyle difference. He said that our personalities are just too different and he doesn't feel we would complement each other in the long run. He tends to be more ambition driven, serious and detail oriented. I tend to be more carefree and spontaneous. I've always also have been accepting of differences with the person I am with and willing to compromise. I guess, he wasn't willing to take me as I am... Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 We don't have a huge lifestyle difference. He said that our personalities are just too different and he doesn't feel we would complement each other in the long run. He tends to be more ambition driven, serious and detail oriented. I tend to be more carefree and spontaneous. I've always also have been accepting of differences with the person I am with and willing to compromise. I guess, he wasn't willing to take me as I am... You can look at it like that. We all have things we aren't willing to compromise on. Like casey said above, religion is an example. For me, differing ideas on how to spend money would be a big deal. I think when it comes down to something like you being free spirited, it seems like he just didn't feel strongly about you. That's your personality, and I feel that if someone loves you enough, they will embrace and appreciate your personality. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts