What are your thoughts about cheap wedding?

[Rrac]

What if a couple spent only 1.5 grand for a wedding with 25 guests. Will you think the groom didn't care much about his bride's most special day? Will you think the couple aren't ready to be married yet coz they can't spend for a better wedding?

 

If you were one of those couples who had an expensive wedding, will you think less of your friends who had a very cheap wedding?

[Raena]

I had an expensive wedding, it didn't last. The lesson I learned is... it doesn't matter how much you spend on the wedding at all.

 

It is the couples day to do with how they see fit. It's not about impressing others at all. It's about their relationship with each other and the ceremony and subsequent celebration should be exactly what the couple wants and can afford. What's the point in spending thousands of dollars on a wedding. Put it into buying a house or saving for your future.

[carhill]

Most of my friends had very modest second or third weddings. Some had more expensive first weddings, mostly the younger set or the children of friends. My exW and I got married at a beach house we rented in Hawaii with just family. It wasn't cheap but not expensive either. We later had a reception for mainland friends that exW traded work for with a caterer customer. She had already had her 'big' wedding with her second husband and that stuff didn't interest her.

 

IMO it depends on the couple and what they want. It's their wedding. I've been to the gamut. To me, the value is in the marriage and the people. Stuff is stuff.

[road]

I had the an expensive wedding.

 

 

Today I would say money better spent on a down payment for a house.

[Ophelia27]

Me and my husband got married in Vegas. My family is all in Europe and his didnt care to come so we decided to elope and got married in a really nice looking chapel. It only cost us about 300 dollars in total but it was the best day of my life. It was intimite and romantic. Just us. It was really OUR day. No entertaining guests, etc. I wouldnt want it any other way.

[T-16bullseyeWompRat]

Our wedding... We both woke up late. I threw on some jeans and a nice shirt. She, a simple summer dress. We left the house, picked up 50 bucks at the bank, and off to the JoP. Were back home an hour later married.

 

I don't like weddings one bit. Feels like a huge waste of money to me. Spending so much money puts pressure on the whole thing as well. Wife's are nervous wrecks because they want that picture perfect wedding they have been dreaming about since they were little kids watching elaborate weddings on Disney movies. Nearly every newly wed wife will tell you once the wedding is over they are just glad its over and can finally relax. What the heck kind of thought is that to have on wedding day? They do it to themselves though, so I don't feel sorry for them.

[MissBee]

What if a couple spent only 1.5 grand for a wedding with 25 guests. Will you think the groom didn't care much about his bride's most special day? Will you think the couple aren't ready to be married yet coz they can't spend for a better wedding?

 

If you were one of those couples who had an expensive wedding, will you think less of your friends who had a very cheap wedding?

 

I think the marriage is more important than the wedding and I don't fault a couple for opting for cheap. It's their day, so long as they enjoy it is what matters and there is no rule they need to spend exorbitant amounts on it.

 

That said however, in general, I'm someone who cares a lot about making sure my guests are satisfied and have a good time at any event I host. Be it you've come over for dinner or I'm throwing a party. The cost doesn't determine this though. I think you have to try to be creative when going for cheap to make sure that you can still have a nice time, enough food and drinks and so on. For me, I want people to feel like they had a good time, had enough to eat, and they come away feeling like it was an evening well spent. There isn't a price tag on that, it's more about adding little nice touches and just making sure it doesn't FEEL cheap and shoddy. It can be cheap so long as it doesn't feel sorta sloppy and half-assed.

 

 

$1500 sounds incredibly low to me. I can't imagine having a wedding on that alone. But stranger things have occurred. If a lot of stuff is DIY sure, it might be a fun challenge! It's whatever is important to you. Spend more of your budget on what is most important to you. For example, good food and nice ambiance are important for me personally, so if I were doing a budget wedding I'd try to focus on how I can make those two things as nice as I can. So sit down with your budget, figure out what is important to you to have and then figure out creative ways to get it for free or cheap and go from there. As long as you all are happy and people can see the love is flowing and it's not where it's so cheap your guests are uncomfortable you'll be fine.

[autumnnight]

If people spent as much time and money preparing for marriage as they did throwing the wedding, I bet the divorce rate would be a lot lower.

 

1500 will get your married nicely. 50 bucks will get you just as married without the trappings. 50,000 will get you married with snobbery and style, but it won;t make your odds of staying married any better.

 

The wedding is one day that will be a memory. The marriage is for life. Which one do you think is more important?

 

I had the Miss Manners wedding of the south...with all the trimmings.

 

My marriage was lonely and unhappy. And the nice boxed up dress and fine china don't keep me warm at night.

[Got it]

I think what makes a great wedding is more than just the money spent. Some of the best weddings I have gone to have varied greatly in costs. For example, my SILs wedding was around 1-2K and we had an awesome time!

 

What people from the wedding is a way to celebrate the couple, a great time with good friends and food and rocking music!

 

The more heartfelt it is, not the cost, the more the love and the fun comes through.

[Horton]

What if a couple spent only 1.5 grand for a wedding with 25 guests. Will you think the groom didn't care much about his bride's most special day? Will you think the couple aren't ready to be married yet coz they can't spend for a better wedding?

 

If you were one of those couples who had an expensive wedding, will you think less of your friends who had a very cheap wedding?

 

 

Nowadays almost nobody gets married without already living together and having premarital sex, so for all intensive purposes they've already been living the married life long before the actual wedding, just without the piece of paper from the government sanctioning it. In my estimation it's a little silly when people make such a huge deal about the ceremony when they're already living together and sleeping together. At that point it's really not much more than an overpriced family reunion when you think about it.

 

Expensive weddings are just a way for the bride(and sometimes her mother) to show off to their girlfriends and feel like the center of attention, the groom is basically just a background character or a stationary prop in these scenarios. My mind's eye jumps to one of those super sweet sixteen shows, with the entitled girl throwing a tantrum at the slightest imperfection on her big day, only in this one there's some guy in a tuxedo looking increasingly more worried with each new outburst of his bride to be.

 

As an outside spectator I would probably just keep my mouth shut if the woman was demanding a bigger wedding since getting in between a couple's squabbles is a fool's errand. I would just be sitting in the corner rolling my eyes while thinking "Good luck buddy." If I were the groom then I would be reevaluating my decision to get married to that particular woman, I'd think if she were truly in love with me she would be just as happy to get married by the justice of the peace.

 

Weddings used to have a real purpose at one point in history, it was the joining of a man and woman together for the rest of their lives and it was considered both holy and permanent. They made vows before their community and before God, if they broke those vows there were serious and sometimes life altering consequences. A lot of women in our western culture are far more concerned about the wedding than the actual marriage and it shows in the divorce rates. They want to GET married, but many of them don't want to BE married.

[Mr. Lucky]

I've been to many weddings but two were ultra expensive, I'd guess $50K+.

 

One marriage lasted 18 months, the other 4 years. At least in my limited experience, no correlation between dollars spent and marital success...

 

Mr. Lucky

[TX-SC]

My wife and I were married at a church and only had our immediate family attend. Her dad took pictures since he is a photographer. We paid the preacher a tip ($25), didn't buy any flowers or have a reception.

 

So, our total expenditure was $25. We have been married for 20 years and neither of us have ever looked back and said "Man, I wish we had an expensive wedding!"

 

I don't know of any friend or family member who has ever told us that our wedding was sub-par because it was small. In fact, when most of my friends look back on how much theirs cost and what they actually GOT from it, they envy us for not wasting a bunch of money.

 

The reality is that the size of the wedding is in no way an indication of how good the marriage will be or how long it will last. As long as the bride and groom (or any variation thereof) is happy, to hell with the rest.

[d0nnivain]

Your marriage is not about the cost of your wedding. $1,500 sounds like a perfect price point for 25 people.

 

 

On the flip side I think going into debt for a party is stupid.

[Mrs. John Adams]

I think our society has become obsessed with"the wedding" and not with "the marriage".

 

The important thing is no here is the relationship between the two people....not the cost of a "show".

 

Weddings are bigger and better...for what reason? To impress...to fulfill fantasies?

 

I think many young ladies are in love with the idea of a wedding than they are with the man they are marrying.

 

Most couples...not all...have lived together for a period of time before having a wedding....and many all ready have a child together.

 

I don't think marriage means what it once did. We live in a disposable society...and marriage has certainly suffered because of it. We marry with the idea that if it doesn't work we get a divorce...

The mindset used to be that marriage was forever. Even the vows have become non committal in many cases.

 

So I guess I feel like...if you have the means to have a big lavish wedding...and that's what the two of you desire go for it. But to go into debt...to have a a big fancy wedding....needs to be discussed and evaluated....after all...whether you have a private ceremony at the courthouse or a huge church wedding with all the bells and whistles...you are just as married.

[sandylee1]

I wouldn't think less of the bride or the groom. I'd simply assume that's the type of wedding that they want or that they can afford. Having worked in the hospital and wedding business before, I knew I wanted a particular type of wedding and my fiancé at the time let me organise it all, but there was not an unmited budget.

 

If your bride wants a more glamorous wedding, it's advisable to compromise and maybe save up a bit longer.

 

In all honesty £1.5k is a very very small budget for a wedding and I couldn't have had the wedding I wanted with that budget.

 

Unlike many other posters here...i know this won't be popular but I'll say I would not be happy with such a tiny budget and would have to think twice if this was a sign of things to come. I don't like scrimping and expect better than that, but I work hard for what I want.

 

A lot of the traditional things will have to be cut out, but it very much depends on the circumstances. Our both families are more than 25, so it depends on that as well.

 

Like your ages, income , if it's the first marriage, size of your families.

 

I know the marriage is more important than the wedding, but it's nice to look back on the day with fond memories and if your fiancée wants a better wedding, then you both need to work towards that within reason.

 

It's a case of what things are important to her to have and what can you leave out.

 

Is it a case of you don't want to spend more or you don't have more to spend? Because if she thinks you have more and just don't wish to spend it , then that's one thing.

 

Is she also contributing to the wedding costs?

 

Are you prepared to spend money on other things,.but just not splash out on a wedding ?

 

If you're generally conservative with your cash, she needs to know what married life will be like with you, as finances are a major cause of marital breakdown.

[keyser]

Spend what your comfortable spending and dont worry about anyone else.

 

Its a day for you and your partner. The pressure is immense of brides and grooms to fork out huge money when its not required. Same as engagement rings - spend 3 months salary on a ring? A rule made up by, yeah you guessed it.. Jewelers. All a lot of crap.

 

 

I had an expensive wedding and spend a lot on a ring. Im still happy but wish id spend half and done something else with the rest.

 

Ive been to a few ''cheap'' weddings and they were some of the best ove been to.

[Rrac]

Thanks for the replies guys.

 

I was just having thoughts if I did something wrong by not wanting a bigger wedding because after the day, some of our friends started being flaky on us, canceling plans and even de-friended us on our social media profiles.

 

It was a DIY wedding except for the catered dinner. No flowers on the reception, just a bouquet for the bride and scented candles for the centerpieces.

 

All our friends had big out of the country weddings. I'm starting to feel now that they think we don't fit in to the group because we were the only ones that hosted a cheap wedding.

 

The bride is a very humble woman and she doesn't care if the wedding isn't fancy. But eversince the friends de-friended us, she started feeling down. It has nothing to do with how she feels for her husband as she loves him so dearly. It's just that she feels she wasn't able to make the friends happy.

[digdoug]

a wedding does not have to be expensive , we had a maybe 100 or more at our wedding . it was done on the cheap. family members doing the photos, family member making the cake, family member making the bride gown... ect...ect... we are still married 32 years later.

a lot of big show weddings don't last five years , something to think about.

[Horton]

I was just having thoughts if I did something wrong by not wanting a bigger wedding because after the day, some of our friends started being flaky on us, canceling plans and even de-friended us on our social media profiles.

 

All our friends had big out of the country weddings. I'm starting to feel now that they think we don't fit in to the group because we were the only ones that hosted a cheap wedding.

 

The bride is a very humble woman and she doesn't care if the wedding isn't fancy. But eversince the friends de-friended us, she started feeling down. It has nothing to do with how she feels for her husband as she loves him so dearly. It's just that she feels she wasn't able to make the friends happy.

 

Wow you have some truly awful friends. Think of it this way though, you found out how little they care about you guys over a wedding ceremony and not some devastating event like an illness or a death in the family. At least it didn't take much to realize how fair-weather they are.

[sandylee1]

Thanks for the replies guys.

 

I was just having thoughts if I did something wrong by not wanting a bigger wedding because after the day, some of our friends started being flaky on us, canceling plans and even de-friended us on our social media profiles.

 

It was a DIY wedding except for the catered dinner. No flowers on the reception, just a bouquet for the bride and scented candles for the centerpieces.

 

All our friends had big out of the country weddings. I'm starting to feel now that they think we don't fit in to the group because we were the only ones that hosted a cheap wedding.

 

The bride is a very humble woman and she doesn't care if the wedding isn't fancy. But eversince the friends de-friended us, she started feeling down. It has nothing to do with how she feels for her husband as she loves him so dearly. It's just that she feels she wasn't able to make the friends happy.

 

As long as you were BOTH happy with the wedding , that's all that matters. If they've defriended you because you hosted a cheaper wedding, not only are they not real friends but they are very childish as well.

 

The whole thing sounds rather bizarre.

 

I do someone who said 'friends' stopped inviting her out when she couldn't afford the activities they did. She no longer fitted in their social circle.

 

I guess it's not so much about the wedding , but how your overall attitude with money is, especially when you go out as a group.

 

Like old friend of mine who would never be the first to buy a drink for us and would do everything not to return the favour. I would pick her up and drop her home when we went out and she was so tight , she wouldn't even buy a drink. I just lost interest in friendship with her.

[Got it]

I couldn't imagine dropping friends over socioeconomic issues. That is amazing. I make substantially more than my friends. I would never expect them to be able to have the discretionary funds I do. There are so many things one can do inexpensively that you are friends to be friends and to support each other or it some weird high school crap.

 

Good riddance to bad rubbish OP. If they dropped you guys from that then, well, speaks far more of them than of you.

 

Everyone does their wedding differently and I have seen some money spent on some crazy/dumb stuff. It may not be my style but I am there to support their day, not about me.

[Assil]

Thanks for the replies guys.

 

I was just having thoughts if I did something wrong by not wanting a bigger wedding because after the day, some of our friends started being flaky on us, canceling plans and even de-friended us on our social media profiles.

 

How are you sure it's because you guys had an inexpensive wedding? Could something else have happened that caused this rift between you and your friends? Maybe something that happened during the wedding that you are unaware of?

 

I agree that if you have friends who are ditching you because they were so appalled by your not lavish wedding that you have some pretty ****ty friends. But it seems like there might be a more logical explanation.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Stop worry about what other people think and do what feels right for the both of you.

 

And as far as I'm concerned, to hell with anyone who can't respect your choices

[truncated]

I wish we would have had a smaller wedding, but my MIL kind of took ti over, invited a bunch of people neither of us really knew, and we ended up blowing thousands that could have been much better spent.

 

I would rather have taken that money and gone on a vacation somewhere special and gotten married there, maybe somewhere with just the two of us an the officiant.

 

 

I can tell you this much. all those pricey little details? No one really notices them, and you won't remember them at all.

[Miss Peach]

I had a big wedding but wish I would have just eloped and spent on the honeymoon looking back. Divorced now. It doesn't matter to the marriage IMO.

 

If I get married again I hope it will be small and cheap myself. Something like a ceremony at a park and a nice dinner with our family/close friends. A few of my friends are into photography and would probably do it for the free meal.