Christian---cursed over divorce?

[learning to breathe]

Im in the process of getting a divorce from my husband because of multiple reasons which include physical abuse and just a lot of crazy things.....

 

we've been together for 10 years and he just keeps telling me that it is wrong to get a divorce God will punish you for wanting to leave me etc and although i know God doesnt like divorce because of what it does, it really does cause pain however i feel that He also doesnt want us to be unhappy and i am not happy with my husband. not in the context of that we dont have anything to talk about or that one day i woke up and i dont love him anymore its more that the past is very much relevant today as it was yesterday. i feel nothing ever gets resolved between us.

 

i have all my things packed ready to go but i just feel like idk...im kind of torn and him just keep saying Gods gonna curse me makes me feel weird. but i feel like my relationship with God is my relationship with Him and if i would be cursed for the rest of my life, God knows my heart...

 

idk has anyone ever gone through this or heard of this?

 

just so you know i have tried to reconcile with him multiple times as well as i sought counseling and now that all of the sudden he is praying more and seeking God he feels like he has the right to intervene in my life and tell me well God says this so you should do this.....

 

idk i just feel horrible about everything...... ugh

 

learning to breathe.....

[todreaminblue]

that would also make all people who help women get out of abusive relationships cursed and its not the case......not for you and not for them.....

 

Domestic violence is condemned ...love one another is almost the highest commandment that we have...love thy neighbour as you love yourself......so you would think a wife or a husband....should love each other enough not to abuse the priviledge of love we have been given that includes verbal manipulation after the fact......everything he said about curses is against gods ways and in your heart you know that...listen to that still small voice whispering telling you to go do what you have to do.............if you dont really believe yet what i say is true here is a page with bible verses for you on domestic violence or abuse.....

 

What is the biblical perspective on domestic violence?

 

 

how long ago was the physical abuse and how long did it last......is that why you walked .....

 

do you go to church at all is there a way you could talk to your bishop or pastor and get counsel........dev

[Jersey born raised]

A lot Catholics at one time, even pastors, thought divorce was a mortal sin. No,

Adultery and remarriage yes.

 

In any event your faith is not a suicide pack. Is removal of life support, or refusing extraordinary measures suicide? No.

 

I am thankful there are thoughtful people like you I'm this world.

[learning to breathe]

Thank you everyone who responded.

 

to todreaminblue the physical abuse lasted for years. it is still present to this day although it has just happened again... he put his hands on me recently he grabbed me and started shaking me... and it was over a sweater...

 

I used to have my things upstairs (main bedroom) and now I have everything in one of the downstairs bedrooms and I lock myself in the room and sleep on the floor. I know it sounds horrible and ive been through a lot of things just as the next person and I am used to all of this..... this is the last step before I ultimately leave...

 

I get nervous about leaving idk why... i don't believe its because i am making the wrong choice, i just don't want to let God down, but i feel like things would get worse with time and i will continue to be unhappy. i am going to keep praying to God to help me with everything, I don't like to rely on my own understanding but by His and this marriage i feel very much alone.... when he talks i find my self getting frustrated very easily but i keep quiet and even if he is talking about something nice i zone out.

 

i don't feel that love for him anymore... i just don't.

 

thank you so much for that link, i kept rereading it. thank you for the encouragement.

 

i go to church here and there i have tried to approach the pastor with this issue but it seemed like he was too busy or there was a line of people waiting to talk to him... i just know that God does answer us and i want His instruction as what to do...

[autumnnight]

No, you are not cursed. He is further abusing you by using spiritual manipulation.

[todreaminblue]

Thank you everyone who responded.

 

to todreaminblue the physical abuse lasted for years. it is still present to this day although it has just happened again... he put his hands on me recently he grabbed me and started shaking me... and it was over a sweater...

 

I used to have my things upstairs (main bedroom) and now I have everything in one of the downstairs bedrooms and I lock myself in the room and sleep on the floor. I know it sounds horrible and ive been through a lot of things just as the next person and I am used to all of this..... this is the last step before I ultimately leave...

 

I get nervous about leaving idk why... i don't believe its because i am making the wrong choice, i just don't want to let God down, but i feel like things would get worse with time and i will continue to be unhappy. i am going to keep praying to God to help me with everything, I don't like to rely on my own understanding but by His and this marriage i feel very much alone.... when he talks i find my self getting frustrated very easily but i keep quiet and even if he is talking about something nice i zone out.

 

i don't feel that love for him anymore... i just don't.

 

thank you so much for that link, i kept rereading it. thank you for the encouragement.

 

i go to church here and there i have tried to approach the pastor with this issue but it seemed like he was too busy or there was a line of people waiting to talk to him... i just know that God does answer us and i want His instruction as what to do...

 

i am a bit like you...ill hang back to talking to my bishop if i feel he is busy or there are others there waiting to talk to him ...i feel their impatience.....and i wonder am i the same another impatient person wanting to take bishops time with family away......so i just leave......but......what happens is ....when i get home....i kick myself......because now i realize i am all alone with a problem i am struggling with.and when i do speak to bishop he has always made me feel stronger...he gives me verses....he says words that help me....and i do believe he is inspired to say what he says...its often too close to the heart fo the matter to believe otherwise.......i know god is there for me....there si a problem however of inner voices with me......and with this thing called agency....i have to make my own choices.....as do you...and feeling all alone in times fo trial ....is draining.....to share with someone how you are feeling...is like what you should be able to do with a partner.....to have that support.....and you dont have that....so you need to share your problems.....to have advice in specific regard to your faith...so a spiritual leader in your faith is what you need....

 

i help women in domestic violence situations to leave.....some are severely beaten...one woman i have just met has kids who are also being abused......unfortunately she is not ready to leave.....and it really actually hurts me to know she is going back.....but theres that thing called choice....

 

see your pastor gain counsel......it will only help you....if ever you feel unsafe at home....leave as soon as you get the chance......and still try for counsel from your pastor.....while separated from possible harm...you arent alone....if ever you need to talk.....i am here....i have been in a domestic violence situation a long time ago...and my choice was to stay..and it wasnt easy..if i hadnt stayed.....and yes i prayed about it....i wouldnt have three girls......any choice we make will never be easy.....but you have to do the choice that allows you to live in safety....deb

Edited October 12, 2015 by todreaminblue

[learning to breathe]

todreaminblue- do you mean that you are still with your abusive husband? if so, did he change completely? and how did everything work? did you both seek counseling?

 

i always think like because i am 27 i am old and i just feel like starting over would be crazy and i dont know if i want to take that step but i kinda do im just confused and i know God doesnt confuse people.

 

Hi autumnnight,

that is how i feel, i feel like instead of helping me he is just making things worse by like saying i am cursed for the rest of my life or something weird....

 

im must really finished with a lot. im gonna go pray and read the word i feel like God is my only hope and i pray that i find His true light to guide me through this dark time.....

 

i dont even know what a husband is.... because ive never had one... and i can say that i havent been a wife either because i havent had the chance to....

 

geez... please Lord help me.... :(

[Horton]

Is your husband aware of your affair? If so I could imagine he might have been referring to the fact that God judges adulterers very harshly throughout his word. King David is a good example of this, he took another man's wife as his own and God in turn took their affair child from them. He also used David's own family as instruments of his judgment for David's sin.

 

"Now therefore the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife." -2 Samuel 12:10

 

You should read 2 Samuel chapters 11 and 12 if you're interested in understanding how adultery is viewed by God. It's no small matter to him. Regardless of your husband's sin, if you think you and the OM are gonna ride off into the sunset together and enjoy God's blessings in your life you are severely mistaken. If you've truly been saved by the blood of Jesus you will not lose your salvation, but God always disciplines his own.

Edited October 13, 2015 by Horton

[learning to breathe]

Hi Horton,

thank you for your response. Yes, I have been open with my husband about how I've strayed away from him in the time of need and despair.

 

I was honest about spending time on the phone with another man, however I have ended that. of course my husband wasn't happy and he blamed himself because of all of the abuse he had done to me, but I take ownership in the things I do, however im not going to lie at that moment I felt great which obviously the flesh wants you to think that it is okay when in fact it is not.

 

and I know adultery is a sin a great one at that. I always referred back to David as well when I would take to me EA... now that all of that is over, I kept finding things about my husband like he was on twitter and instagram looking up other women and when I asked why he would do that (especially from our area) he said he didn't have an explanation

 

and he has an addiction problem to porn and the list goes on..... I really feel obviously that I need to be away from him, I know I have sins and im not trying to bash him, but seriously the hurt that he has caused on me I feel I haven't been able to let go or heal I should say because he always forces me to be, like I would say something and he would just be like ohhhh why are you a cry baby? that stuff is in the past, what does God say don't bring up the past... and I tell him well its still relevant to be because it has never gotten resolved....

 

I don't know he isn't a husband, I cannot rely on him at all... nor do I want to. and I don't mean that in the context that I only rely on my husband, I know that God never changes and that humans always change and we cannot rely on someone who always changes however, your husband is supposed to be your best friend and he isn't... we hardly talk and I went on 5 days this past week without seeing him... ive been sleeping on the floor and I am fine with that.

 

 

thank you for writing about David that really put everything into consideration. not consideration but what I will go forward with. I don't want anyone hurt or myself to be condemned to hell because I am being foolish, that's the dumbest thing I could do.

Edited October 13, 2015 by learning to breathe

[autumnnight]

This is another good verse to remember, OP

 

"If a man keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at one point, he is guilty of breaking all of it."

 

Regarding David.....remember, it was AFTER his adultery with Bathsheba, and his repentance, that he was referred to by God as "a man after God's own heart."

 

Regardless of what some believe, adultery is not a spiritual or moral death sentence, and the Christ who died for your sins does NOT hold you permanently accountable. Only humans do that.

[Horton]

thank you for writing about David that really put everything into consideration. not consideration but what I will go forward with. I don't want anyone hurt or myself to be condemned to hell because I am being foolish, that's the dumbest thing I could do.

 

You will not be condemned to hell for your sins if you've been born again, but if we live in sin then we grieve the holy spirit and the holy spirit acts as our guide, so when we do that we are blinding ourselves to God's truth and this can lead us to wander off the path and get us into more trouble. I recommend a good bible study program that can help you have a better understanding of the word. You can google 'thru the bible' by J. Vernon McGee and listen to that program online or on a local christian radio channel. It's an excellent source for studying all of the word from Genesis to Revelation and it's free. If you don't like to listen to radio/podcasts you could always download the shows in book format as well. I also found that reading and rereading 'Mere Christianity' by C.S. Lewis and 'The Attributes of God Volumes 1 and 2' by A.W. Tozer to be of great value in helping me build a strong foundation to better understand the bible, however there's no replacement for a thorough studying of the word itself.

[autumnnight]

You will not be condemned to hell for your sins if you've been born again, but if we live in sin then we grieve the holy spirit and the holy spirit acts as our guide, so when we do that we are blinding ourselves to God's truth and this can lead us to wander off the path and get us into more trouble. I recommend a good bible study program that can help you have a better understanding of the word. You can google 'thru the bible' by J. Vernon McGee and listen to that program online or on a local christian radio channel. It's an excellent source for studying all of the word from Genesis to Revelation and it's free. If you don't like to listen to radio/podcasts you could always download the shows in book format as well. I also found that reading and rereading 'Mere Christianity' by C.S. Lewis and 'The Attributes of God Volumes 1 and 2' by A.W. Tozer to be of great value in helping me build a strong foundation to better understand the bible, however there's no replacement for a thorough studying of the word itself.

 

And when we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness. We are justified, which doctrinally means "just as if" we had never sinned.

 

Like I said, it is humans who keep the black mark in the forefront forever, and we do it because of religious pride.

 

There is a reason I have the parable of the unforgiving servant in my signature line. Considering what God did for us in regard to His Son to pay the debt we could never pay, it is the height of arrogance to presume that we have authority over someone else's sin debt, especially when that person is a stranger.

[learning to breathe]

that's all I can do is to be hopeful.

 

my mind is just tired of going in circles, like what if or im not too sure, or I feel like I get pressured a lot and take a lot of what people say into consideration. I know that God is the source to all life and is the answer to everything, I just don't want to let Him down anymore ultimately and when I think about being with my husband my stomach turns... he isn't all that bad of a guy, I just feel like even with all of the hurt he has caused how could you look at someone the same way you thought was supposed to have loved you?

 

I also feel like we did not built a foundation on God but by our own will, and I blame that as well as to why we are where we are today and Ive tried 10 years to make this thing work and I know it takes 3 for a successful marriage but my husband idk.... I just don't know what to say anymore... I feel like he just sweeps everything under the rug.

 

and just when I start having a glimmer of hope, he lets me down and he wants me to trust him when he gives me no reason to. I know no one is perfect, heck I don't even nag about anything at all anymore because I don't want to be abused or start an argument and he thinks living this way is fine.

 

I believe I have a voice in all of this and I just, I don't know what to do.... I really do want to leave. I want to find myself and I don't feel like I can living where I do now because he is always on my case. what are you doing, don't do that, I feel like I am living with a parent or something... its weird.

 

im still in pain I can admit that... I just wish he did listen but he hasn't.. I know God does though.. that's all that matters to me....

[todreaminblue]

todreaminblue- do you mean that you are still with your abusive husband? if so, did he change completely? and how did everything work? did you both seek counseling?

 

i always think like because i am 27 i am old and i just feel like starting over would be crazy and i dont know if i want to take that step but i kinda do im just confused and i know God doesnt confuse people.

 

Hi autumnnight,

that is how i feel, i feel like instead of helping me he is just making things worse by like saying i am cursed for the rest of my life or something weird....

 

im must really finished with a lot. im gonna go pray and read the word i feel like God is my only hope and i pray that i find His true light to guide me through this dark time.....

 

i dont even know what a husband is.... because ive never had one... and i can say that i havent been a wife either because i havent had the chance to....

 

geez... please Lord help me.... :(

 

no i am not with him now but i was with him for fifteen years we never married and i had three girls.......a psychic actually knew i would...knew everything...thats another story....i had my own god given revelations to listen too..anyway...he ended up leaving my family and i for another woman.......he now doesnt drink or take drugs which were when i received the worst beatings when he was not himself on drugs or alcohol...........we are friends and he is the guy i knew he always was or should be......we just arent together anymore or ever should be together.....he has different beliefs to me............but i am happy for him........he is fit as and healthy......its a shame it couldnt happen while we were together......but he has apologised for what he put me through and respects me now like he hasnt before......my choice...i stayed and the abuse was infrequent......and it was hard to stay.......took a lot out of me.......

 

 

i have to ask because it has been mentioned above by another poster....did you have an affair not that that deserves physical abuse .....at all.....did problems occur because of an affair.....deb

[learning to breathe]

todreaminblue-

 

"i have to ask because it has been mentioned above by another poster....did you have an affair not that that deserves physical abuse .....at all.....did problems occur because of an affair.....deb"

 

I had an emotional affair, which is just as bad or worse than a physical affair. and I did not have one because of the physical abuse, erm, well yeah i will get back to that.

 

For the 10 years i have been with my husband i had never cheated him or had an EA or PA but ive always felt like i needed to be treated better and although i knew i needed to be treated better i never had the courage to leave even before we were married. i have been abused wayyyy before the EA ever come along and that was just recent.

 

now that he knows everything about my EA, he is trying to be different. he is trying to "please" me but i feel like it is only for a moment. and it is that way... i HATE when people have what they say that want but when they start to lose that something or someone they start to "change" i hate that.... im really sick of everything and although i believe in Jesus I did feel like taking my life at one point to stop the pain in my heart and physical and emotional. i started to believe his lies like i was nothing and when i close my eyes that pain is still there.

 

i dont want to take my life. i dont want to go to hell. i dont want to displease God first and foremost however i am not perfect....

 

i feel like he just doesnt care and i dont either....

 

back to the above, of course abuse makes you feel useless and when my emotional affair came around, he of course did everything my husband didnt, he paid attention to be, he was a friend, he really made me feel beautiful. although we didnt meet each other i felt like ive known him my whole life... so yeah i got attached to someone who wasnt abusing me.

 

yeah......

Edited October 14, 2015 by learning to breathe

[todreaminblue]

todreaminblue-

 

"i have to ask because it has been mentioned above by another poster....did you have an affair not that that deserves physical abuse .....at all.....did problems occur because of an affair.....deb"

 

I had an emotional affair, which is just as bad or worse than a physical affair. and I did not have one because of the physical abuse, erm, well yeah i will get back to that.

 

For the 10 years i have been with my husband i had never cheated him or had an EA or PA but ive always felt like i needed to be treated better and although i knew i needed to be treated better i never had the courage to leave even before we were married. i have been abused wayyyy before the EA ever come along and that was just recent.

 

now that he knows everything about my EA, he is trying to be different. he is trying to "please" me but i feel like it is only for a moment. and it is that way... i HATE when people have what they say that want but when they start to lose that something or someone they start to "change" i hate that.... im really sick of everything and although i believe in Jesus I did feel like taking my life at one point to stop the pain in my heart and physical and emotional. i started to believe his lies like i was nothing and when i close my eyes that pain is still there.

 

i dont want to take my life. i dont want to go to hell. i dont want to displease God first and foremost however i am not perfect....

 

i feel like he just doesnt care and i dont either....

 

back to the above, of course abuse makes you feel useless and when my emotional affair came around, he of course did everything my husband didnt, he paid attention to be, he was a friend, he really made me feel beautiful. although we didnt meet each other i felt like ive known him my whole life... so yeah i got attached to someone who wasnt abusing me.

 

yeah......

 

dear learningtobreathe,

 

i only wanted to clarify.....please dont feel i am judging you i am not...i am an ex hooker....if anyone were to be going to hell it would be me .......but i repented i knew what i did was wrong and i wish i never did it it was a stain on me that baptism removed........thats the beauty of the atonement learning tobreathe we are forgiven our sins.....are the blood on the body of christ...he weeped blood for us....died for us.....he gave us the opportunity to live forever because he loves us, god loves us...be strong in that knowledge that you can verify in biblical ways.......follow your heart ...as i follow mine in writing this to you....and i send you hugs..my heart to yours...speak to your pastor or spiritual advisor...you arent alone....gain counsel and strength to do whats right for you and for your husband..speak to your pastor and keep the faith you hold in your heart sister.,......debxoxo

[autumnnight]

In case you wondered OP, just like there is not a excuse for an affair....

 

An affair is NOT a justification or excuse for abuse. Ever. Period.

 

In fact, did you even mention an affair in your opening post? And if not, how did someone even know you had one.......

[pureinheart]

You will not be condemned to hell for your sins if you've been born again, but if we live in sin then we grieve the holy spirit and the holy spirit acts as our guide, so when we do that we are blinding ourselves to God's truth and this can lead us to wander off the path and get us into more trouble. I recommend a good bible study program that can help you have a better understanding of the word. You can google 'thru the bible' by J. Vernon McGee and listen to that program online or on a local christian radio channel. It's an excellent source for studying all of the word from Genesis to Revelation and it's free. If you don't like to listen to radio/podcasts you could always download the shows in book format as well. I also found that reading and rereading 'Mere Christianity' by C.S. Lewis and 'The Attributes of God Volumes 1 and 2' by A.W. Tozer to be of great value in helping me build a strong foundation to better understand the bible, however there's no replacement for a thorough studying of the word itself.

 

Wow Horton, you cited some on track, down to earth teachings here!

[pureinheart]

dear learningtobreathe,

 

i only wanted to clarify.....please dont feel i am judging you i am not...i am an ex hooker....if anyone were to be going to hell it would be me .......but i repented i knew what i did was wrong and i wish i never did it it was a stain on me that baptism removed........thats the beauty of the atonement learning tobreathe we are forgiven our sins.....are the blood on the body of christ...he weeped blood for us....died for us.....he gave us the opportunity to live forever because he loves us, god loves us...be strong in that knowledge that you can verify in biblical ways.......follow your heart ...as i follow mine in writing this to you....and i send you hugs..my heart to yours...speak to your pastor or spiritual advisor...you arent alone....gain counsel and strength to do whats right for you and for your husband..speak to your pastor and keep the faith you hold in your heart sister.,......debxoxo

 

or me... and after getting saved I still sin... ((((((hugs OP and Deb)))))))

[Horton]

In fact, did you even mention an affair in your opening post? And if not, how did someone even know you had one.......

 

I brought it up since she seemed confused as to what her husband might be referring to with the 'cursed' accusations. She talks about having an OM in one of her threads. If you click on a poster's name it has links to every other thread they've started.

[autumnnight]

I brought it up since she seemed confused as to what her husband might be referring to with the 'cursed' accusations. She talks about having an OM in one of her threads. If you click on a poster's name it has links to every other thread they've started.

 

Ah....

 

I still take issue with the word cursed. I know some Christians find that type of thing...appealing, but Biblically speaking, when our sins are cancelled, they are cancelled and separated as far as the east is from the west.

[Horton]

Ah....

 

I still take issue with the word cursed. I know some Christians find that type of thing...appealing, but Biblically speaking, when our sins are cancelled, they are cancelled and separated as far as the east is from the west.

 

I agree about the word 'cursed' being falsely applied here. I think we've had a similar discussion before if I'm not mistaken, about eternal consequences vs. earthly consequences. I don't think 'cursed' (as her husband put it) is the correct term in regards to believers being disciplined by God for their sins since it has other connotations that I don't believe would apply to somebody who is saved. However, God does correct his children when we've done wrong and barring a miracle he will allow us to face the natural consequences of our actions.

 

When Christians sin we do not lose our salvation nor does God stop loving us, but we will suffer consequences in this life for the wrong we've done and we will be disciplined by the father if we belong to him. An absentee father would allow his children to run wild and wreak havoc on those around them indefinitely, but God is a loving father and like any loving father he corrects us when we've erred.

 

The atonement saves us from the second death(eternal separation from God) but it is not a get out of jail free card to do whatever we please in this life as a great many charlatans in the churches have lead people to believe. Even a Christian must reap what he/she has sown. Hebrews 12 has a good outline of the biblical truth of divine discipline.

 

Hebrews 12:5-11

 

And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,

and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,

and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?

If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.

Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live!

They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

[autumnnight]

I agree about the word 'cursed' being falsely applied here. I think we've had a similar discussion before if I'm not mistaken, about eternal consequences vs. earthly consequences. I don't think 'cursed' (as her husband put it) is the correct term in regards to believers being disciplined by God for their sins since it has other connotations that I don't believe would apply to somebody who is saved. However, God does correct his children when we've done wrong and barring a miracle he will allow us to face the natural consequences of our actions.

 

When Christians sin we do not lose our salvation nor does God stop loving us, but we will suffer consequences in this life for the wrong we've done and we will be disciplined by the father if we belong to him. An absentee father would allow his children to run wild and wreak havoc on those around them indefinitely, but God is a loving father and like any loving father he corrects us when we've erred.

 

The atonement saves us from the second death(eternal separation from God) but it is not a get out of jail free card to do whatever we please in this life as a great many charlatans in the churches have lead people to believe. Even a Christian must reap what he/she has sown. Hebrews 12 has a good outline of the biblical truth of divine discipline.

 

Hebrews 12:5-11

 

And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,

and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,

and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?

If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.

Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live!

They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

 

I love that passage in Hebrews. Especially the part about it producing a harvest of righteousness. See, the PURPOSE of God's chastisement is not so he can "stick it to us," but so that we can be restored to fellowship with Him.

 

It has been my observation that in some corners of the internet, the focus seems to be on the "gotcha! I'mm telling!" rather than the purpose BEHIND God's chastisement...which is restoration. After HE has chastised us, and we repent and urn toward Him, we do NOT for the rest of our earthly lives carry around a bag of sin rocks (illustration from my youth group days ) In other words, our sin does NOT follow us until the day we die and THEN we are free. Christ of the Bible frees us today. We may have natural earthly consequences, but among Christians, even those are not meant to last for a lifetime.

 

Also important to note that the chastisement is God's job, not the job of strangers or others. That is another thing certain corners of the internet don't understand.

[TheFinalWord]

Im in the process of getting a divorce from my husband because of multiple reasons which include physical abuse and just a lot of crazy things.....

 

we've been together for 10 years and he just keeps telling me that it is wrong to get a divorce God will punish you for wanting to leave me etc and although i know God doesnt like divorce because of what it does, it really does cause pain however i feel that He also doesnt want us to be unhappy and i am not happy with my husband. not in the context of that we dont have anything to talk about or that one day i woke up and i dont love him anymore its more that the past is very much relevant today as it was yesterday. i feel nothing ever gets resolved between us.

 

i have all my things packed ready to go but i just feel like idk...im kind of torn and him just keep saying Gods gonna curse me makes me feel weird. but i feel like my relationship with God is my relationship with Him and if i would be cursed for the rest of my life, God knows my heart...

 

idk has anyone ever gone through this or heard of this?

 

just so you know i have tried to reconcile with him multiple times as well as i sought counseling and now that all of the sudden he is praying more and seeking God he feels like he has the right to intervene in my life and tell me well God says this so you should do this.....

 

idk i just feel horrible about everything...... ugh

 

learning to breathe.....

 

God will never leave you or forsake you. No one can snatch you from the Father's hand.

 

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.

[Horton]

I love that passage in Hebrews. Especially the part about it producing a harvest of righteousness. See, the PURPOSE of God's chastisement is not so he can "stick it to us," but so that we can be restored to fellowship with Him.

 

Absolutely, it's the difference between discipline and punishment.

 

It has been my observation that in some corners of the internet, the focus seems to be on the "gotcha! I'mm telling!" rather than the purpose BEHIND God's chastisement...which is restoration.

 

I don't follow, is the "gotcha! I'm telling!" in reference to the AM scandal we spoke about before?

 

After HE has chastised us, and we repent and urn toward Him, we do NOT for the rest of our earthly lives carry around a bag of sin rocks (illustration from my youth group days ) In other words, our sin does NOT follow us until the day we die and THEN we are free. Christ of the Bible frees us today. We may have natural earthly consequences, but among Christians, even those are not meant to last for a lifetime.

 

I don't quite understand what you mean by 'our sins don't follow us until the day we die'. Do you mean that we should not feel guilt or shame for our sins? Do you mean that our sins should not damage our reputation? Or do you mean something else entirely? As far as earthly consequences not being meant to last all of our lives, I cannot agree with you on that part.

 

If somebody does something awful enough they will have to live with the consequences. A murderer for instance shouldn't necessarily be paroled just cause he's been redeemed, if he committed the crime it's only right that he should accept the penalty and if he claims to be a changed man while complaining that his sentence is too harsh instead of showing remorse for those he's wronged then personally that would lead me to question his sincerity. His focus is not on Christ, or his victims or even helping others, but on himself and his own personal interests.

 

Also important to note that the chastisement is God's job, not the job of strangers or others. That is another thing certain corners of the internet don't understand.

 

AM scandal again? If so I'll reiterate my previous thoughts on that subject. People who commit crimes(hackers included) should be punished when caught, but in a world that includes starving children and persecuted dissidents I'm not gonna lose any sleep over some adulterers getting caught with their pants down, online or otherwise.

 

There are certain posters(yourself included) who speak a lot about redemption, but I sometimes get the feeling that the term 'redemption' is being used interchangeably with the term 'good'. But being redeemed does not mean that we are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. The apostle Paul was redeemed, he had done some truly heinous things before his road to Damascus conversion and you already know what he had to say about his character.

 

I'd like to paraphrase something I once heard J Vernon McGee(whom I recommended to OP earlier) say about this very subject.

 

"All of mankind is divided between the saints and the aint's, if you ain't in Christ then you are an ain't, if you are in Christ then you are a saint. It is not your character that makes you a saint, it is your position in Christ."