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i dont know how to feel anymore


jaheira

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my boyfriend and i have been together in a long distance relationship for almost a year now. through the first 7-8 months, i knew that was in love with him, and that it was serious. now, i dont feel that i am as in love with him as i used to be. my world used to revolve around him, but now it feels like its almost stopped turning. i felt like i was in a dream world with him, and that as long as i had him, i would be great, and it scares me so bad that i dont feel the same. i want to be happy, but i want to be happy with him, not with someone else.does anyone know how to get my "dream love" back?

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The first stage in a relationship is the infatuation stage. As you said, your world revolved around this person. Feelings are intense, and things are very passionate. You live in a "dream world".

 

But after awhile, that part wears off. You get back to the day-to-day business of living. You learn all about this person, and they are no longer a mystery. You may have occasional fights. This 'dream world' is gone.

 

What is left is the *substance* of the relationship...the fluff is gone. You may have moments of that intense feeling again, but it won't ever be like it was. Love is *not* that intense feeling. Love is the friendship and companionship and understanding that grows after being with someone over time. It sounds like you do have this with him, but are caught off-guard that you don't have the intense feeling anymore.

 

Love grows deeper after time, long after infatuation has worn off. You say that you want to be with him even though you don't have the intensity you did, so there must be something there. The best kind of love is not the dream world kind, but the real world kind. The kind where you two know each other so well, and are there for each other through the good and the bad. The kind where you are each other's friends above and beyond anything else. Sounds like you might be on your way. :-)

my boyfriend and i have been together in a long distance relationship for almost a year now. through the first 7-8 months, i knew that was in love with him, and that it was serious. now, i dont feel that i am as in love with him as i used to be. my world used to revolve around him, but now it feels like its almost stopped turning. i felt like i was in a dream world with him, and that as long as i had him, i would be great, and it scares me so bad that i dont feel the same. i want to be happy, but i want to be happy with him, not with someone else.does anyone know how to get my "dream love" back?
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