wed4ever Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 The other night I met one of my wife's friends, both her and her husband. If I didn't know any better I would think she was interested in me from the way she looked at me. Meaning, if I were single and dating I would have felt it was the green light to flirt and ask her on a date, maybe. I have no desire or intention to cheat but it made me wonder if a lot of married women desire another married man. My wife told me once that many women actually desire married men. Or at least that's the case with many of her co-workers... many who are single however. She told me a couple of story's of friends of hers who hooked up with married guys. I think that's pretty low but I'm not going to judge. Link to post Share on other sites
JustGettingBy Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Flirting? Depends on both couples involved and how comfortable they are. I agree that actually hooking up is low, for both partners. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Some women have a personality that can make it look like their flirting but it doesn't mean that their on the prowl. Err on the side of caution and chalk it up to personality. Keeps you out of trouble when you do. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 I have no desire or intention to cheat but it made me wonder if a lot of married women desire another married man Married men are 'safe', 'pre-approved' and, if known, can be a lot of fun without substantial risks. There's a wide range of 'desire' and IME most of it has been as an attention grab, even with the ones who have been far more obvious and physical than a look and a few words. It's sport to them, using their sexuality to grab some situational attention. That's how it's come across to me, anyway, over the decades. Some are spectacularly good at it, equally as good as at handling their husbands. Impressive. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 I think a lot of married or connected people desire other married or connected people. It's just human nature to evaluate others sexually and romantically whether you're in a committed relationship or not. Most ppl have personal values that prevent the resulting interaction from going too far, but the values vary, the degree of commitment to the values varies, and the personal wherewithal to to act on the commitment to those values varies. End result is yes, there are a lot of married/committed ppl out there who flirt with others. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Davey L Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 I have had a lot more interest from women since I've had a marriage ring on my finger than I ever did before. If only I'd known that when I was single I'd have bought myself a ring and pretended to be married to improve my chances with the ladies. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Ha, ha, while an interesting experiment (I tried it for fun), IME it's the actual having the wife and being known as a social couple which makes the husband more attractive to those who enjoy the flirting/EMA's for fun stuff. Women are incredibly astute at assessing men, far more than we often give them credit for, and a fake married guy is far easier to suss out than a married guy faking he's single, as often happens in affairs. The latter guy fogs the mind a bit with the undisclosed married allure, or 'aura' that makes a man attractive to a woman, not the married part itself but rather how he wears his ego as a result, which goes back to the OP's original assertion. That ego style is attractive. The OP's wife underscores women's intrinsic understanding of this stuff. She knows how other women handle men. It's a pretty impressive social power they wield. Underestimate it at your own risk. Link to post Share on other sites
Penguins Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 It is sad because it undermines relationships, spouse and friend. Being aware of this is a good thing because you will not be caught up in it. There are other women out there who dislike the stress, the frustration, and chaos that comes from a relationship that is insecure because of these kinds of behaviors. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I honestly can't imagine anyone LESS appealing to me than a married man. I'll never get WHY women find a married man attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wed4ever Posted October 13, 2015 Author Share Posted October 13, 2015 I honestly can't imagine anyone LESS appealing to me than a married man. I'll never get WHY women find a married man attractive. That's how I feel about married women. But that doesn't mean I don't like to sneak a peak. Any attraction is strictly lust. No different that looking at porn. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 It's not something I've noticed or done as a MW myself. Very rarely a good looking guy might come and speak to me and my married female coworker will ask who it was when he's left, saying "he's a bit of alright", but that's as far as it goes. We have a little laugh and one of the single girls will say "you two are married you know" I'm friendly with everyone, but I wouldn't like it to get misinterpreted as flirting, so I'm quite careful that way. Now I might work my charm if I can get something out of it.... Like a discount on car maintenance at the garage and I've no idea if the technicians are married or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Some women have a personality that can make it look like their flirting but it doesn't mean that their on the prowl. Err on the side of caution and chalk it up to personality. Keeps you out of trouble when you do. Agreed. I'm a huge flirt. It's just my nature but it doesn't mean I want to bed everyone I flirt with ESPECIALLY married men. Usually we're all in on the flirt meaning we're all aware of the flirting going on between us but we all know it's just good clean fun. Nothing more. Having said that I would never flirt with a married man (or any man) in a way that would be disrespectful to his or my relationship. There is indeed a line one should never cross in these matters unless they're looking for trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
jmiller1991 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Married men are 'safe', 'pre-approved' and, if known, can be a lot of fun without substantial risks. Exactly. In fact, I think it's a bit dangerous to flirt with a single guy, as being available he may get the wrong impression. I much prefer flirting with married guys, because then we both know that it's harmless fun and doesn't mean anything. Also, I think that married people flirting with each other can actually help improve their sex lives. You both flirt with another "safe" person, the two of you get all worked up, and then you take out your frustrations on each other in the bedroom. And this has been my experience as well. The sex I've had with my fiance after flirting with some hot guy at school has DEFINITELY been the best! :bunny::bunny::bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 A lot more women - especially married women - really enjoy being tag-teamed by hubby and another man of her choosing. Far fetched, but it happens. Some couples are spooked at the thought of Swinging for fear they will be outed so poaching a friends H is safer for them. Most likely is that she is an attention-whore and needs outside validation that she's still got it. This is the most likely explanation. This is really dangerous behavior because its like a drug to her. When/if she gets desperate enough she will happily trade sex to keep a guy chasing & desiring her. At that point cheating is an easy boundary to cross. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 (edited) Why not judge? Life is about judgement in a variety of things. We judge people in all walks of life. If this woman is married and her husband was at the same party or wherever you met and she STILL was flirting with another dude that is trashy, why wouldn't you judge that? You didn't seek her out, she flung her trash at you. Also for me I hate when I see a woman say "I am a natural flirt" as if..gosh darnit they just can't stop themselves from flirting with other dudes even if they are in a relationship. If you're single cool, if not? Curb it. Edited October 16, 2015 by Spectre Link to post Share on other sites
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